How To Create A Brilliant List To Maintain A Brilliant Life

I can't imagine my 56th birthday being more brilliant. Spending an entire day in the company of my husband and son while having their undivided attention - no Sports Center, stock tickers, political arguments or social media - was something I was more than looking forward to.

In our family the birthday girl or boy chooses how they want to spend their special day. More times than not I've wanted to do something cultural in Manhattan. So I gave my husband a list of plays I wanted to see, and he and my son took care of the rest.

We went to the small theatre-in-the-round, the Barrow Street Theatre, to see the creative and interactive one-man show, "Every Brilliant Thing." The play is about a young boy growing up who does his best to distract his suicidal mother by creating a list of joyful things that make life worth living.

This hour-long play stars the charmingly funny Brit Jonny Donohoe who creates a character that is bright, funny and engaging, something that's not easy to do considering the subject at hand. Yet Donohoe handily succeeds.

As an emotionally damaged boy who never stops searching for a happier life, we, the audience, interact with the story according to the lines and roles Donohoe assigns us when we first take our seats. His poignant and honest depiction of how suicide affects a family makes us laugh and cry as we remain ever hopeful that both mother and son will survive intact.

(Not to give too much away, but our favorite brilliant thing on the character's list was, "Christopher Walken's voice....and hair." Ha!)

Like any dedicated blogger, as I sat and watched the play my mind began to race. How could I write about brilliant lists for my blog? Then it dawned on me: Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone would create their own brilliant list? A list that would make them feel happy to write and joyful to read?

Your list will never be finished, because as we age and experience more and more life lessons, we add our positive experiences to our brilliant list. Just like the main character in the play, there are thousands and thousands of reasons why every brilliant thing we love - everything that makes our heart sing or brings a smile to our face - makes a positive difference in our lives.

So on days when you're having some self-doubt or perhaps feeling a little sad, you'll have your brilliant list to comfort you. It will serve as a reminder of the things that matter most - the simple joys that make life worthwhile.

Here are some things that are on my brilliant list. In the comments below I'd love to read what's on your brilliant list. Remember, there is no right or wrong. It's whatever feels brilliant to you!

The sound of my son's laughter.
Snuggling with my husband.
The look of Nirvana in our cat's eyes when I pet them.
Mozart's Flute and Harp Concerto.
The entire album of Carole King's Tapestry, Cat Stevens' Tea for the Tillerman, Frank Sinatra's In the Wee Small Hours and The Beatle's White Album.
The sound of the ocean.
Smelling the fragrance of peonies or roses.
The soft sound of Paul Desmond's alto saxophone in Take Five. And the entire brilliant song.
Any Cary Grant movie.
A good book that absorbs me so much I can't put it down.
Laughing with my girlfriends and talking about anything and everything.
The sound of crickets.
Receiving a handwritten note in the mail.
Spending time in a library or bookstore.
Animals that are rescued and adopted into forever loving homes.
Turner Classics Movie channel.
Butterflies.
A great massage.
The first velvety note of any Nat King Cole song.
Having no new lesions on my brain and spine.
The satisfaction of writing a good sentence, paragraph and post.
Helping others find what they need, or lending a compassionate ear.
The taste of homemade chocolate ice cream completely smothered with homemade hot fudge.
A beautiful sunset.
The first time I saw Paris, the taste of a croissant from any of their patisseries, and hanging out in Giverny and the Tuileries.
Any painting by Monet, Manet, Renoir, Pissaro, Seurat, Sisley, Morisot, Degas. Okay, it's hard to narrow it down.
Money earmarked for research to find cures for anything that is incurable.
The Peanuts characters.
Don Rickles. Johnny Carson. Together or separate.
Walter Huston singing September Song.
Everything in nature.
Being snowed in with my husband and son.
The smell of chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven.
Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol and You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.
The first time I saw Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music.
Knowing you made a difference in someone's life.
The lyrical voice of Joni Mitchell.
Taking a vacation. Where it's warm. With mountains. Or an ocean. Or both. Or a spa. Or moving where it's warm. With mountains. Or an ocean. Or both. Or a spa.
Buying a new pair of shoes that are comfortable yet attractive.
Doing a Downward Dog.
The smell of baby lotion.
The knowledge that the people I love are happy, healthy and doing what they love.
A peaceful world.

What's on your brilliant list?

It's Time To Tell The Truth

I'm sure you've been waiting impatiently to find out what I was lying about yesterday. I hope your day went smoothly despite your curious nature chipping away at you while you wondered about my lie. I hope I didn't disturb your day too much.

I'd like to thank my fellow liars-in-crime (whose blogs I'll be heading over to because I'm dying to find out what they were lying about!): Doreen, Elin, Lois, Angela, Mary B, Elaine, Linda, Jackie, and Jamie. Remind me to never get in a poker game with any of you.

Before I reveal my answers, l want to pause a moment to reflect where I was 26 years ago today. Because as I type this post I am wearing a turtleneck, sweatshirt, sweat pants and wool socks because it's f-r-e-e-z-i-n-g outside. Here is where I was. Beam me back over there now, Scotty!

November 21, 1988: Our honeymoon. You don't see water that color at the Jersey shore. I want to go back there now!

Finally, here's the big reveal from yesterday's post:

1. TRUE: I wrote in the past that while working for a large real estate firm in Manhattan I was the token Jersey Girl with a car. So I (naively) said yes to driving to all 5 boroughs to conduct closings. I got to know a married attorney who represented many buyers. He wanted to "thank me" (translation: have a fling) and propositioned me at lunch at the 4-star restaurant, Lutece. I was very young, and in retrospect I wish I flung a glass of wine at him and left, but I stayed for the entire uncomfortable meal. Back at the office I was flustered and told my boss who became outraged and took care of the situation. Let's just say I never saw that man again.

2. TRUE: During lunch hour from the same real estate firm I was walking down Sixth Avenue when a camera crew approached me. They wanted people on the street to ask questions for Mayor Koch for that evening's 6 o'clock news. At that time people were clamoring for him to lower taxes, so I asked him to lower them. I knew I'd never make it home in time to see the program, so I called my brother and he recorded it on his SONY Betamax. I wish I could watch it today!

3. TRUE: My new boyfriend and I were invited to a black tie New Year's Eve party and I wanted to impress him and his friends, but I didn't know how. After discussing it with my mother, we decided to approach one of her friend's who was a master chef/baker. Oh, what a foolish girl I was! I told everyone at the party that I made the cake!! Unfortunately one of the guests was a professional caterer, and she gave me her card and offered me a job. That lie ended up smacking me in the face and I more than deserved it. The guy ended up being a total jerk. I learned some very powerful life lessons that evening.

4. TRUE: I've told the story before about a friend of mine working on a film and inviting me onto the set to meet Harold Ramis (loved), Robert DeNiro (too busy getting into character) and Billy Crystal. A little background: My friend was the first one to introduce me to bacon (at age 16) because I wasn't allowed to eat anything from a pig. When her mom found out she made me a BLT she said she'd end up in Hell! So my friend told Billy Crystal this story and he laughed, and then struck up a conversation with me about keeping kosher and using one set of dishes for meat and the other for dairy He was endearing and hysterically funny.

5. FALSE: Many of you said you believed the story about getting to the tropical island, but not about loving the small airplane. You were so right! That tiny plane carried around 30 people and I swore I would die as a newlywed. I felt nauseous when we landed. I dislike small planes and I definitely have a fear of heights.

Our luggage didn't arrive with us, so there we were in this beautiful oasis in our heavy winter clothing. Oy vey. Thank goodness the suitcases arrived later that day. We grabbed our suits and headed to the water. Ahh. All's well that ends well.

6. TRUE: One summer my friend and I did work on an assembly line. It was the most boring job I ever had. On top of that, we were grouped with the full-time ladies who hated us because they knew we'd be heading back to college in August and they'd still be there. It didn't help that one of the young men had a crush on my friend, and one of the assembly ladies had a crush on him. Nice little soap opera, eh? (By the way, Mary Bird, I really don't know the name of the widget or appliance because I don't remember what we worked on! It was a long time ago. Ah, memory....Ha!)

This was a lot of fun! Thanks a lot for playing.

Life Moves In Mysterious Ways

I never had a weight problem growing up but I wasn't what you'd call thin. I enjoyed wearing nice clothes even though in grade school my friends and I often preferred wearing flannel shirts and a pair of jeans.

Groovy outfit with a midriff, Converse sneakers and John Lennon glasses (1971) Oy.

In 1984 I took my second job at a large real estate company in New York City. My new employer, wealthy in his own right, married the daughter of an oil entrepreneur who also owned 20th Century Fox. The year after I worked for the company, my employer and his new partner "paid roughly $500 million for 45 apartment houses, containing 6,200 rental units. The New York Times called it the largest residential real estate transaction that the New York metropolitan area had ever seen."

My employer loved tennis and hobnobbed with the tennis stars of the day. (Unfortunately the tennis star Vitas Gerulaitis died of carbon monoxide poisoning while sleeping in my employer's Southhampton pool-house bedroom.) My colleagues and I handled the closings of deluxe apartments for many tennis stars as part of our job. It wasn't unusual to see them milling about our Madison Avenue office.

It was important how we looked and dressed, particularly to the two women who were our direct bosses. I say "we" because my colleagues (and there were many) were young, pretty twenty-somethings vying for attention to climb higher on the corporate ladder. One of our bosses was vulgar in her manner and speech, often bragging about the great sex she had with her boyfriend the night before. She had a high opinion of herself, and thought nothing of demonstrating her latest "positions" for our listening displeasure.

How we looked was of the utmost importance to her. I knew she didn't care for me because I wasn't a size 0.

It wasn't unusual to spend our lunch hour (when we had one) at Saks Fifth Avenue or Bloomingdales to shop for clothes, two expensive department stores that I had no business walking into. I was trying to keep up with the Joneses even though my meager paycheck barely covered rent, bus fare, and living expenses.

I also needed to stay in shape. Every night I'd religiously do my Jane Fonda workout routine. The brisk walk to and from Port Authority to Madison Avenue was a decent cardio workout.

One day our co-bosses called a meeting for a few of us underlings. As we gathered in their office (they shared one) my vulgar boss went around the room and commented on our clothing. She adored my closest friend who was petite, stylish and completely adorable.

When she looked at me she stopped for a brief second and declared, "Look at Cathy. She almost has a waist. Keep up the good work!"

I was inconsolable and wanted to quit and run home. In my young mind I was devastated, humiliated and traumatized. My self-esteem plummeted.

Somehow I got through the day, and made a pact with myself to get thinner so I could show her who had a small waist. It sounds silly but I was young and vulnerable.

Who was she to pass judgement on me? As we age we get smarter, but as I said before words can hurt, and something said years ago sometimes stays with us forever.

But life moves in mysterious ways. A few years later my husband (then fiance) and I were visiting a friend who lived in Lincoln Towers, a beautiful apartment complex located behind Lincoln Center in Manhattan and owned by my former employer. Before our visit I wanted to stop by the real estate office to say hello to a few of my ex-colleagues.

After hugging and exchanging niceties, a voice from behind me loudly said, "Hello." It was Miss Vulgarity.

She looked awful. Her gray hair was disheveled and her posture was poor. Wrinkles had set into her leathery face, and she carried a tiny paunch. I'm not proud of this, but I felt very happy.

She was unmarried and unhappy; her facial expressions spoke volumes. She stared and stared at my fiance. As she was staring I told her we were engaged. She hesitated for a few seconds before finally congratulating me. I caught a sad glean in her eyes, and I knew what that meant. I just knew.

The Words That Changed My Life

I used to teach my son that words can hurt and to be thoughtful when using them. Spoken words can never be taken back.

It's funny how the mind works. Sometimes we forget words that are spoken to us today, but over thirty years ago? We remember them perfectly.

The words I once heard that cut me to the core were spoken during my senior year of college.They may sound trivial now but at the time they were anything but. Eventually I realized how important they were because they forced me to take a hard look at myself. And by doing so it changed my perspective about myself, my outlook on life, and how I would eventually make peace with who I am.

None of this happened overnight.

It was a week before graduation and I knew I'd be leaving Boston for a long time because, as hard as I tried, I couldn't find a job in publishing.

Being in a city with over 200 colleges created stiff competition with other graduates.

I was (more than) lamenting the fact that I couldn't stay in Boston. I truly loved that city and its proximity to the rest of New England. I knew that once I got home I'd have to start applying to jobs by sending dozens and dozens of resumes out to publishing houses in and around Manhattan, another tough job market.

Instead of being happy the week before graduation I was miserable. What made it worse was that several of my close friends were staying in Boston. I was green with envy.

One day as I was declaring for the millionth time how miserable I was one of my roommates couldn't stand listening to my complaints and barked, "You always want what others have.You're never satisfied with what you have."

Ouch.

I was hurt and it stung. How could she turn on me like this? I didn't deserve such rudeness. Didn't she feel sorry for me? She must not be as good a friend as I thought she was.

It wasn't until my years of enlightenment (just kidding), a lot of introspection, and years of practice that I realized the truth:

Wherever you are is exactly where you belong.

I finally let go of the anger that I felt toward my roommate. I forgave her for being unkind. In the end, though, she really did me a favor.

Words can hurt and we must be thoughtful how we use them. We're all guilty of letting words slip out of our mouths in the heat of anger or frustration. And at one time or another we've been on the receiving end of harsh words. I hope that we all can find forgiveness for ourselves and for others.

Keep an open heart, because forgiving another person allows for an abundance of joy and happiness to enter into your life.

Have you ever been hurt by words that someone said to you?

In The Movie Of My Life Manhattan Would Be A Central Character

I've never been comfortable calling myself a Jersey Girl. I don't know why. Or maybe I do. But it's what I am. And aside from the four years I spent away at college in Boston, I've lived here all of my life.

My heart desperately wants to move south, to move somewhere warm, but for now this is my home.

One of the biggest perks to being here is living close to Manhattan. I've been to others cities around the world, falling deeply in love with the city of Paris. But Manhattan, ah, Manhattan. After crossing the George Washington Bridge or driving through the Lincoln Tunnel, there's an unexplainable pulse that's suddenly palpable, a certain energy I've never felt anywhere else.

Times Square

I often think about the opening scene in Woody Allen's movie "Manhattan. Shot in black and white, the cinematography skillfully captures the essence of Manhattan. Forget about the dialogue. It's watching the city, a third character in the film, set to the music of my favorite composer, George Gershwin, that Allen showcases against the steely rhythms of "Rhapsody in Blue." It's a visually brilliant introduction to a city we both love.

The traffic can be maddening. The sidewalks are crowded. The taxi drivers are crazy. The streets are filled with colorful characters. The prices are expensive. But..

You never know what you'll see when you walk around Manhattan. A woman dressed up as a character in the play "Chicago" or a bunch of fictional characters.

There's a magic to the city unlike anywhere else. The museums, restaurants, theaters, galleries, shopping, parks, music halls, walking paths - they are all squeezed into 33 square miles for our ongoing pleasure.

Broadway shows, or as they used to call it, "The legitimate theater"

Lincoln Center. Central Park. The Village and Soho. The Plaza and Pierre Hotels. Broadway. The Flatiron and Empire State Buildings. Wall Street. South Street Seaport. Times Square.Chinatown and Little Italy. Harlem. Fifth Avenue. Rockefeller Center. Hell's Kitchen. Grand Central. Museum Mile. Tiffany's, Bergdorf's Goodman's, Henri Bendel and Bloomingdales. Zabar's. The United Nations.

The list is endless.

The fun and charm of New York City

The six years I worked in the city was exciting. It was the 1980's and companies were spending extra money to keep their employees happy. When I worked for a large real estate mogul they'd send us home by limousine if we worked late (which was often) and, since I lived in New Jersey, that car ride must have been an expensive one.

Sometimes they'd offer us free tickets to Broadway shows (one time our intermission was spent with Liza Minelli and Sammy Davis, Jr. in the lobby!) Or free passes to nightclubs like The Red Parrot and Limelight.

John Lennon tribute, Central Park and fun at Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum

But my favorite part of being in Manhattan was seeing it through the eyes of our son. At five months old we strapped him into a baby backpack carrier and showed him the vivid colors of the artwork at The Guggenheim Museum. Since then we've enjoyed exposing him to the culture and vibrance of the city he now loves.

It's difficult for me to pinpoint the number one reason why I'm so crazy about New York City. What I do know is that its always taught me a lot about life, and when the time comes to move away I will miss it. Because, like the movie, Manhattan has become a character in my life. It's a dear old friend.

What's your favorite city?

September 11 And Prayers For A Better World

For thirteen years Americans have mourned and paid tribute to the tragic and senseless loss of lives that happened on our soil in the bright, cloudless skies on September 11, 2001. We've heard countless stories emerge about family and friends who perished that day. Every year we exchange details about where we were when we first learned of the shocking news that, at first, seemed like a piece of science fiction.

The Morris County 9/11 Living Memorial: Plaques with the 64 Morris County residents and the names of all the victims are displayed at the site.

Last night our community gathered for a candlelight vigil and service to pay tribute to the 64 victims we lost from Morris County, New Jersey on September 11. Held before the county's 9/11 Living Memorial built from 3 steel sections from The World Trade Center, pieces of United Flight #93 and surrounded by soil from The Pentagon,we joined together in solidarity as American citizens, and as residents of New Jersey mourning those we lost.

The 9/11 Living Memorial: This memorial is comprised of three steel sections from the World Trade Center, pieces of United Flight #93, and soil from the Pentagon. The concrete blocks at the base of the steel represent the foundations of our lives: family, relationships and community.

On the morning of September 11, 2001 I pulled my son out of school because forty miles away our beloved Manhattan was under attack. Like many other moms standing in line, we wanted our children with us because we simply didn't know what, if anything, might happen next.

Sitting at last night's candlelight vigil with my adult son sitting beside me, these thoughts came flooding back. Our world, and his, were forever changed.

Bless You, America: The flag against the beauty of the night sky

With September 11 looming and the heinous and violent acts occurring around the world, we are reminded of the fragility of life, the importance of kindness, tolerance and compassion, and the responsibility we have to help one another as best as we can.

A lone bagpipe played while local police and EMS workers marched past us to begin the ceremony

My wish for you and your loved ones is for a world where peaceful coexistence is not only possible but is the norm, where goodness overcomes evil, and that all of our lives are blessed with joy and good health.

When I Walk: A Documentary Premiering On PBS Is An Honest Look At Life With MS

The film “When I Walk” by filmmaker Jason DaSilva will premiere on PBS on Monday, June 23, 2014. It was an Official Selection at the 2013 Sundance Film Festival, and the Best Canadian Feature at HotDocs, 2013. Original music is composed by Emmy award winner Jeff Beal (read my interview with Jeff about his MS journey here.) I was provided with a complimentary copy of the film. All opinions expressed are strictly my own.

By the age of 25, Jason DaSilva was a young man blazing his own trail as an accomplished documentary filmmaker, picking up an Oscar nod along the way for his film “Olivia’s Puzzle.” His talents as a documentarian were evident as his star began to rise with several well-reviewed films under his belt.

He seemed unstoppable.

Jason enjoyed an active social life that was typical of a young man living in Manhattan, enjoying the vibrancy of an exciting city with friends and family.

All of that was about to suddenly change forever.

Jason enjoyed capturing his life on film. Bringing his camera along on a day at the beach at a family outing was typical. But this particular day would be different. Jason had no way of knowing that while he was busy documenting his life, something terrible was about to happen.

While walking on the sand, Jason suddenly fell to his knees. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t stand up. For the first time in his life Jason was totally helpless, forcing him to rely on others to get him back on his feet.

This was the beginning of Jason’s next journey.

Jason received the devastating news that he had primary progressive Multiple Sclerosis, a form of MS that steadily worsens without any distinct relapses. He soon realized that filming his journey would be unprecedented; he was the perfect person to illustrate what it was like to live a life with a degenerative disease.

This film is a dedication to Jason’s struggle, and I applaud his indomitable spirit that he displays with his broad smile and genial manner while facing each day with more obstacles than the one before. He exposes himself to us on film, and we are a silent audience helplessly watching this lovely, vibrant man bravely face the horror of his disease.

“When I Walk” is an extraordinary piece of art, bringing us along on Jason’s journey, watching him slowly lose the ability to walk, to see and to maneuver a city that can be inaccessible and unkind to someone with a disability.

What struck me about this film is Jason’s unwavering honesty and his life-affirming outlook on the joy of life. We watch him laugh and cry, always relying on his strong inner spirit to guide him with the harsh realities of living with MS. His family envelops him, and I was particularly touched by how spiritually strong his mother was, taking care of his physical, emotional and spiritual needs with tough love.

Alice, Jason’s new wife, is his partner in every way. She, too, shares her honesty about life with a husband who is living with an incurable disease. Her dedication to Jason is touching to watch, from their courtship to their wedding, and then onto trying to start a family. A tragic miscarriage at a hospital that was inaccessible to Jason was heartbreaking to watch. But then some good news. Well, you’ll have to watch the film!

While traveling around the world in a quest to find a miracle – healing waters, meditation, yoga – we witness Jason trying to find a cure, searching for a way back to the life he once knew.

In the MS community, Jason is a giant among us. He has been telling his story since his diagnosis, and I have had the good fortune to read his story and hear about his ventures for a long time. His film has been highly anticipated because it tells our story to the non-disabled world. We not only applaud Jason for his efforts, but also thank him for creating this documentary. Educating others about Multiple Sclerosis is important to us, because we want them to know that we matter, we add great value to the world, and we are more than our MS. We continue to keep hope in our hearts that a cure will be found in our lifetime.

“These days, I’m working on developing AXS Map, a crowd-sourced online tool for sharing reviews on the wheelchair accessibility of buildings in New York City. And while I miss the incredible spontaneity and unlimited access to the city I once had, my diagnosis was not the end of the world….it has provided a new way for me to see and be in the world. This was the basis for the voice and heart that emerged in the film.” ~Jason DaSilva, Director/Producer

What Did The Scale Say To Me?

This week was different. This week the scale didn't move. It didn't go up. It didn't go down. This week the number stayed the same. My reaction?

At least I didn't gain any weight.

I always thought stress was a bad thing, and in my craziness I'd reach out for a quick antidote for calm by eating something sinful. At least that's how I used to think about stress before I watched this TED Talk from psychologist Kelly McGonigal. She argues that stress is our friend. And now I agree. Stress forces us to face our anxieties and, as Kelly says, "This is my body helping me rise to this challenge." Take a look. You'll never think about stress the same way again. And next time you reach for that donut, remember what Kelly said.

This week was crazy, and I didn't have time to do much exercise. What a ridiculous excuse! Okay, I did walk a lot of steps the day I was in Manhattan, and I also ran around to many appointments. But, c'mon, driving around New Jersey isn't exactly exercise. The problem has always been that I go in and out of being totally committed to a daily exercise program. Now that I've lost some weight I want to keep it off, so no more excuses! Maybe I should find my old Jane Fonda video, dust off my leg warmers and pop the tape into the VCR. Oh, wait, I don't have a VCR (or the leg warmers.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNPdBnlOK_U

When people ask me what would be the first thing I'd do if they found a cure for MS, I always say, "Run." One of my fondest childhood memories is running. Running down the street, around the playground, or alongside my friends. It's so joyful, so pure, and you feel free. If I could run again, feeling my legs blindly carry me wherever I wanted to go, that would be my Utopia. For now I'll keep walking, despite the MS fatigue and numbness. Because my abilities are what makes me strong and full of life and oh-so-joyful. Take a look at the faces of these children from Save the Children and you'll understand what I mean.

Next week, when I step onto the scale at Jenny Craig, I hope the numbers will change. Because this week I'm busy making friends with my stress, adding steps to my day and embracing who I am.

*I received a free month on the Jenny Craig program and a discount on food for this review. There was no compensation. All opinions are solely my own. NOTE: Clients following the Jenny Craig program lose, on average, 1 -2 pounds per week.

Yoga: Giving Yourself The Gift Of Good Health During Midlife

Yesterday I returned to a yoga class after an absence of a year and a half. A frozen shoulder prevented me from attending the weekly class I love. I also missed Sheila, my gifted and compassionate instructor who arrived to class with a book of "Yoga for People with Multiple Sclerosis" and "Yoga For People Over 50" in hand. She didn't need the books, but having them endeared her to me even more.

Now that I'm back in the yoga saddle again, I thought I'd repost something I wrote in 2012. If you're looking for a way to sleep better, heal aches and pains, keep sickness at bay, improve flexibility, strengthen muscles, improve balance, help to prevent arthritis, keep your spinal discs supple, get your blood flowing, alleviate stress and worry, or lower blood sugar and LDL, yoga is perfect for you! Read on:

“The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in.” ~B.K.S. Iyengar, Yoga: The Path To Holistic Health

When I was first diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis I was 28 years old and in good physical shape. I worked in Manhattan and walked 16 blocks from the Port Authority Bus Terminal to my office – in rain, snow or sunshine.

At the time, I lived in Weehawken, New Jersey, a township located along the Hudson River overlooking Manhattan. Each day, after returning to my apartment, I'd slip into my workout clothes and pop my new Jane Fonda Workout video into my VCR (for those of you too young to know what a VCR is, it is a video cassette recorder).

The workout kept me in shape, feeling limber and balanced. But after my diagnosis, that all changed.

Yet life continued on. The following year I got married, and in 1992 we had a beautiful, healthy son. Working out during the day was not an option for me. When my son napped, I napped!

When he was entered middle school I decided to take a yoga class. I was beginning to feel like my body was one tight knot, and the pounds were slowly creeping up on me.

My yoga class was filled with other women who, like me, had young children in school and felt the need to learn the practice of yoga. It was an intermediate class (you know – handstands and all) but the yoga instructor, Sheila, assured me she could adapt the more difficult moves to my disability (by then my MS caused my right leg to be totally numb and weakened).

In the beginning, my version of the “Downward Dog” was standing parallel to the wall with my hands pressed against it, my feet a few feet behind me to feel the stretch in my calves and feet. My teacher had great patience with me, and weeks later I was able to do an authentic Downward Dog along with the rest of the class.

I began to feel more limber and balanced. But, somehow, life got busy and I stopped taking yoga. Months turned into years without any yoga classes. I went to a few Restorative Yoga classes at a different yoga studio now and then, but the class never felt as comfortable or rewarding.

Now that I am in my fifties, my muscles feel tight and achy all of the time. Getting out of bed in the morning is a daily treat because my legs won’t always work the way I want them to.

I finally – finally – thought to myself that enough is enough. I thought that If I feel like this now how will I feel in ten, twenty or thirty years? It was time to take care of my body again.

It was time to get back to yoga.

A few weeks ago I signed up for a Gentle Yoga class taught by another lovely woman, Claire, whose class I’d taken a few years ago at my local library. I nervously walked into the studio with my yoga mat and blanket and chose my place on the floor. I began my warm-up, and felt good about what I was doing.

After Claire began class we heard three yoga chimes slowly ring in the air until their sound faded. We were ready to begin. I followed instructions for each pose, paying attention to my breath and meditating with each pose. I stretched every part of my body and balanced myself through deeper breathing.

I felt spiritually renewed.

As we age we need to keep our bodies and our minds toned, limber and active. We need to consider the quality of life we want to try to have as we grow older.

Everyone reading this post has their own set of family genes or health issues to contend with, so we all need to think about what we can do right now to live a better quality of life.

You can consider intermediate, gentle or restorative yoga as I did, or perhaps you’d prefer t’ai chi, or another complementary therapy. I recommend taking a complimentary class to try it out, and always speak to the instructor about any special requirements. Please consult with your doctor before taking any class.

Remember, you are taking an important step in taking better care of yourself. This is a gift you are giving to yourself – the gift of good health. Namaste.

Finding A Balance Between Work And Play (Or How I'm Getting My Groove Back)

This was an unusual week for me. Not because there wasn’t a snowstorm, or because I finally found time to go shoe shopping.

It was unusual because I went out to dinner three times.

When I was in my twenties and working in New York City, my friends and I would think nothing of dining out every night. We were young, and the world was our oyster. Needless to say my bank account suffered from all of those pearls.

But that’s another story.

These days, my life is a busy one, filled with countless hours of work and the heavy demands of my personal life.

I’m not complaining because I love what I do, but sometimes my social life suffers. That bothers me a lot.

So I’ve decided to take better care of my social needs by finding time to engage in the world outside of social media.

Yes, there are people who also exist outside of my laptop. I vaguely remember that.

I love spending quality time with friends, family and colleagues. I find true value in maintaining an equal balance between the deeply satisfying work I do and having an active and vibrant social life.

It’s something I’ve been missing for awhile, and it’s time to get back into the game.

This week, I went out one night with my nephew and son while they’re on spring break. Another was dinner with a dear friend I haven’t seen in a year, and another was a lovely romantic dinner with my husband.

Dinners from around the world - Mexican, Thai and Vietnamese -filled my stomach and my heart.

But wait! I’ve been writing about being on the Jenny Craig program, so how could I enjoy three dinners out?

It was simple. I was careful with my portion sizes, filled my plate with more vegetables than protein, and drank a lot of water.

I also planned ahead by time by stepping up my exercise routine. My new Fitbit was a big help by forcing me to increase the number of steps I took each day. That way, if I ate too many tortilla chips, a couple of vegetable spring rolls or drank a delicious glass (or two) of Spatlese, the total amount of steps I took would work in my favor.

When Judgment Day came, and I stepped onto the always-dreaded scale, I found out my game plan worked.

I was down another pound.

It feels good to know I’m taking baby steps toward taking better care of not only my physical needs, but also my social ones.

We all need to think of ourselves as a whole person instead of difference pieces that make up the whole. We are born whole, and tending toward our health should always include taking care of our emotional and social needs, no matter how busy we are. We all deserve it.

How do you balance your work life with your personal one?

A Utopian Night In Manhattan With Casablanca, Turner Classic Movies And My Son

Utopia (noun): An imaginary place in which the government, laws, and social conditions are perfect. (Merriam-Webster.com)

Over the years I've talked about finding my Utopia which, for me, covers a lot of territory. No violence, no illness, no confrontations, no egos. Doors remain unlocked, children happily play outside and life is lovely.

Pretty corny, isn't it? Well, that's just one version.

Another version is that I'd be able to enjoy watching classic movies all day, but seeing them the way they were meant to be seen. In a clean, elegant theater with plush seats, an extra large screen, and a theatre filled with people who were quiet when the movie began. Everyone would be mesmerized, and it would never occur to anyone to quickly glance at their cell phone.

Oh, and Robert Osborne would introduce every film, sharing his golden nuggets of knowledge about the movie we were about to see.

This week, part of my second version came true thanks to my thoughtful son. After noticing a post on Facebook announcing Turner Classic Movies was offering free tickets for one night to see the classic film "Casablanca" in Manhattan, he quickly ordered two tickets and surprised me with them.

I was ecstatic.

I've always loved classic movies, ever since falling in love with "The Wizard of Oz" (didn't everyone?) My adoration grew into an obsession, and when TCM came onto the scene, I was overjoyed. Finally there would be a place to watch the films I loved. A channel devoted to the preservation of classic movies for all to enjoy.

Now I'd have my first chance to watch a TCM film in a movie theatre.

We left the house early to get good seats (it was first-come first-serve), making sure we had enough time to enjoy an incredible Mexican meal at a restaurant directly across the street from Lincoln Center.

Then we scurried over to the theater, got into our choice seats, and waited an hour for the movie to begin.

The anticipation was exciting.

Once the movie began, I got chills when I first saw Humphrey Bogart light up the screen. He looked so dashing in his white tux and bowtie. I was immediately reminded why Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman) fell in love with him, and why Lauren Bacall married him in real life.

He was breathtaking, and so was his sterling performance.

What I didn't anticipate was the feeling I got that I'd just stepped into a time machine, back into the year 1942. The audience's reactions to the movie were as if they were seeing it for the first time.

Claude Rains got the most laughs.

But when Rick (Bogart) sat down for a drink with the diabolical Nazi talking about the possibility of the Third Reich infiltrating Rick's hometown of New York City, Bogart responded:

"Well there are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn't advise you to try to invade."

The audience cheered, and it gave me the chills.

At the end of the movie, Rick proclaimed to Louis (Rains) that "this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship", the music swelled, the movie ended and the lights came back on.

My son and I were speechless. The only thing I could manage to say was, "Thanks for bringing me to my Utopia."

I hope that one day I'll be able to go to the TCM Film Festival, but in the meantime, I will cherish this magical night for the rest of my days.

What is your Utopia?

Ice Cream For Dinner? That Was Then And This Is Now

I clearly remember one extraordinarily stressful day while I was working in Manhattan in the early 1980's. I was living on my own, and on the way home I stopped by a local convenience store to pick up a quart of Sedutto's chocolate ice cream. While on the bus home I decided that one of the advantages of living alone was that you could eat anything you wanted, at any time of day, and no one else would know about it but you.

Photograph: Mark Andersen/Getty Images/Rubberball

There's a saying people jokingly throw around that if you eat in the dark, no one can see you so there are no calories in the food you eat.

That goes for eating alone, too. Let me tell you from experience: it isn't true.

I ate an entire quart of ice cream for dinner, scarfing it down while thinking that with every bite it would erase my stress.

SPOILER ALERT: It didn't help.

I was in my twenties and never worried about cholesterol levels or how much fat was in a serving. I ate for pleasure, attended weekly aerobic classes, and I'm sure I walked at least 10,000 steps a day getting around Manhattan.

That was then. This is now.

These days, I have to watch everything I eat. I must consider cholesterol levels and how much my daily fat intake is. And I definitely don't walk 10,000 steps a day.

I also worry about genetics, and how to work on beating the ones I inherited.

And then there's stress. My personal stress has been high lately. Believe me when I tell you I've been dying for a quart of some delicious chocolate ice cream, dripping with hot fudge.

This past weekend we went out with some friends to our favorite Chinese restaurant. I love this particular place because, aside from not using any MSG (I know when restaurants use it; I feel as if I'm having a heart attack when my heart races a mile a minute), they also offer a healthy menu.

I ordered the baked tofu with ginger, garlic and vegetables with brown rice, and shared some other dishes as well. I love that tofu dish, and always look forward to it.

Then we took a walk downtown. It's a quaint town with lovely little shops and a mix of ethnic restaurants. I was excited to finally have a chance to be outdoors after the winter from hell we're experiencing has kept us indoors for a l-o-n-g time.

Ah, fresh air.

Then we walked past a Cold Stone Creamery. It's never been my favorite ice cream, but the smell of the ice cream, plus those M&M's that were ~~yelling~~ screaming at me to try them, was a true test.

I passed. I kept thinking about the progress I've been making at Jenny Craig, and how delicious their Triple Chocolate Cheesecake would taste when I got home..

I replaced my desire for M&M's with the thought of a healthier choice, and the knowledge that I wanted to continue my journey of healthier eating.

One baby step at a time, I am trying to reach my personal goals of looking and feeling better. That's all I can ask of myself: one day at a time.

What are you doing to be a healthier eater?

*I received a free month on the Jenny Craig program, and a discount on food for this review. There was no compensation. All opinions are solely my own. NOTE: Clients following the Jenny Craig program lose, on average, 1 -2 lbs. per week.

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