How One Act of Kindness Changed My World and Can Change Yours Too

Welcome back to An Empowered Spirit! Before I explain my absence over the past few months, I'd like to say...

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I hope you had a wonderful holiday season. The holidays can be a mix of joy and stress, so I hope you find many moments of hope and happiness throughout 2024.

Now, to explain my absence...

In 2023, I faced several technical issues with my blog, which made it impossible to use. Recent updates to An Empowered Spirit were the cause, and I was clueless about how to fix it. I contacted several webmasters for help, but their fees exceeded my budget.

With each passing month, I felt lost and unsure about what to do. This blog means a lot to me; it's become part of my identity. I've put a lot of time and effort into it to establish myself as a trustworthy source of information for both MS patients as well as those who don't have MS. Comments from familiar and unfamiliar readers and kind words from those who've since passed away hold a special place in my heart. The thought of losing it all weighed heavily on me.

Out of the blue, a woman I met once at a conference in Dallas noticed a comment I had made on social media. She saw how upset I was about my blog's failure and immediately contacted me to offer assistance. Given her outstanding reputation, I felt confident I could rely on her and gratefully accepted her kind offer.

I must have had an angel on my shoulder that day because her kindness was unexpected and filled my heart.

Due to her full-time job, she couldn't continue working in the advocacy field. However, she decided to help a few select advocates, such as myself, who were experiencing issues she could fix. That's her way of paying it forward! This was an exceptional act of kindness from an extraordinary lady.

I'd like to publicly express my gratitude and thankfulness to the fantastic Megan Starshak for her generosity and hard work in getting my blog back up and running. You did an incredible job. Your good heart and dedication are truly appreciated. Crossing paths with you was a blessing.

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We live in a chaotic world where acts of kindness seem to be getting fewer and fewer. Turning on the news, reading headlines, and scanning social media can make us anxious, scared, and vulnerable. According to the article "Media Overload is Hurting Our Health" by the American Psychological Association, an oversaturation of news either from media outlets or social media can cause, according to various studies, stress, anxiety, depression, or even PTSD symptoms. It can even, according to one doctor, decrease your resilience.

If you've experienced any of this, you're not alone.

What works to lessen my anxiety is setting specific limits. I usually watch the news in the morning while having breakfast, just enough to know the day's top headlines. In addition, I subscribe to a daily newspaper and read some featured sections, such as editorial/opinions, book reviews, arts, and other features, to balance out my news consumption.

But now I'd like to talk about the importance of kindness in the world. While I understand that acts of kindness can't solve all the world's problems, small or big acts can undoubtedly make a difference in people's lives. For instance, Megan's kindness towards me and my blog has significantly impacted me. It boosted my confidence and happiness, making me feel cared for and valued. That is no small achievement.

Think how one gesture can ignite a chain reaction of positivity that changes countless lives. The ripple effect is that an entire chain of positivity can eventually be felt worldwide. Can you imagine that?

Here's an example:

Do you see how that ripple effect can help countless lives? I know you do!

In 2024, we need more acts of kindness to bring about positive change in our world. Extending a helping hand to those in need in any way possible can make another person feel less discouraged and more hopeful. Let's spread positivity and make the world a brighter place for everyone. We need that desperately.

I wish you all the best in 2024—a virtual toast for more peace, love, and laughter.

NOTE: Health Central published an inspiring article about Megan Starshak's journey with ulcerative colitis at age 18 and how she found strength and courage along the way.

Oh, by the way, I wrote a very well-received post in 2023 about five words to help you feel healthy and balanced. I hope you'll take a look!

 

 

The Year 2020 Smacked Us Around: Time to Let Go, Hold On, and Move Forward

We're all metaphorically smacked around, burnt out, and emotionally raw from 2020. What a year it's been. What can we do to heal our weary souls?

How can we let go of what's toxic to us, hold on to what's been supportive, and move forward?

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The year has been particularly challenging on my MS. The cold temperatures in New Jersey are more and more difficult for me with each passing year. More than the heat of the summer. Go figure.

Walking and climbing stairs has become more demanding, and the weakness and numbness in my lower limbs have increased.

Add into that some unexpected emotional wounds that are stressful and unrelenting.

I'm not complaining, I'm merely explaining.

When MS kicks my butt, which seems to occur more often as I age, I rely on my mantra:

"There's more right with you than wrong."  - Jon Kabat-Zinn

When we journal about our blessings the simple act of creating a "what I'm grateful for" list is a powerful and cathartic thing to do.

Try it! It really helps.

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This is the journal I use, by Gabby Bernstein. I love it.

NOTE: My other mantra is the poem "She Let Go" by Safire Rose. I listen to it on my Insight Timer app. It helps me let go of what no longer serves me well.

Self-care has become an overused buzzword that pre-pandemic meant one thing but now means a whole lot more.

According to Dr. Rebecca B. Skolnick, co-founder of Mindwell, NYC:

“I think of self-care in various domains such as psychological, physical, professional, and personal,” says Dr. Rebecca B. Skolnick, co-founder of MindWell NYC and a licensed clinical psychologist. Maybe it’s a long run, a midday nap between Zoom calls, an elaborate home-cooked meal, or a pint of Halo Top in bed. Particularly right now, as we are adapting to new ways of living every day, we simply can’t put “self-care” in a box. And as we learn our current iteration of “new normal,” we need modes of refocusing on our wellbeing more than ever." (Refinery29.com, July 20, 2020)

If you feel burnt out, emotionally overwhelmed, stressed, or riddled with anxiety or depression try practicing one or all of the following:

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Here are a few articles to help you create your own self-care plan:

This year has been extraordinarily difficult. For the families of those who passed from COVID, their heartache is unimaginable. For those struggling with it now, or are dealing with financial, physical, or emotional problems, I send heartfelt healing prayers. I know that's not nearly enough but I hope it helps to know that others care about your well-being.

As we look toward 2021 there are no magic wands to make everything better. But I believe in the power that communities can bring. I've seen them work in the disability community. Even in our darkest hours, we know someone will always be there to listen, care, and take action.

For example last year I, and 140 other advocates from around the world, attended the HealtheVoices conference in Dallas in their "effort to further connect, support, and further empower the online health advocate community." We became a family and continue to be one to this day.

Unfortunately, since then a few attendees passed away. When we learned of their prognoses we rallied around them with love, support, kindness, and compassion. We inundated them with emails, cards, and calls. I know our devotion was important to them. Rest well, sweet, sweet friends.

We can all build powerful communities to battle the angst of our struggles. Together, we can solve so much.

Many people are feeling lonely and isolated, especially during the holiday season. Sprinkle some kindness by sending a card, text, or making a phone call to brighten someone's day. Click here for a few ideas on random acts of kindness.

My deepest thanks to ALL of YOU for following me on my journey via An Empowered Spirit. I'm deeply grateful for your kindness and thoughtful comments that always touch my heart.

It means so much to know you're with me. It's been 9 years now!

I hope I've inspired, educated, and empowered you to live a joyful life despite living with chronic illness.

My wish for you is that 2021 will be a year of good health, inner peace, much joy, and in-person hugs! Don't you miss those?

Please stay safe.

 

NOTE: Please seek professional help if you experience depression or thoughts of suicide. 
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 800-273-8255

 

How To Be Kind To Yourself To Be A Healthier You

It's true that my health's been further compromised by a series of unfortunate events. One of them is the direction our country is going. I've spent a lot of time watching breaking news stories and reading compelling articles about what I consider to be dark clouds on the horizon.

You can't predict when my wacky disease will strike. I'm not aware of large studies correlating stress and MS, but as I stated in prior posts it sure hasn't helped.

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They say life imitates art. If that's true I think I'm a Cubist painting by Picasso where my broken parts have yet to be reassembled.

As my body challenges me I realize it's time to take stock of my life. My health depends on it. Something has to change if I want to heal.

It's time to choose a better path.

The words from Robert Frost's most famous poem have guided me for years. But in the fog that's enveloped me I've somehow lost my way.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

The time has come to travel those roads once more in hopes of finding spiritual wellness.

My word for 2017 is kindness, one I chose with great care. Generally kindness means to be friendly, generous and considerate. But to me it means so much more.

You can be kind to others. But you also must be kind to yourself.

Power down devices more often. Meditate. Be mindful. Practice gratitude. Observe nature. Help others. Read books for pleasure. Spend time with loved ones. Reach out to those being marginalized. Laugh. Sing. Exercise. Eat healthy. Write, write, write. Enjoy life.

I've been fortunate to have special people in my life, those I know and some I've never met. With each gesture of love - offers to do my laundry or shopping, loving calls and texts, or gifts in the mail - my heart soared in gratitude for the thoughtfulness of their acts. I thank you all.

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Photo Credits: Edible Arrangements, BlueApron.com, Who Moved my Teeth by Cathy Sikorski, Esq., Pocket Blessings and Blessings About

I've let life lead me by the nose by giving into fear. That's not my nature nor my intent but Illness and politics can swallow you whole if you let it. I did.

Right about now I'm looking around for Cher to slap me in the face and say, "Snap out of it!"

My word for 2017 will stay in my mind's eye by repeating it daily. It will become second nature to me, reminding me that life is precious and today is the day to put my word into action.

My goal is to find my way back to a life filled with meaning and wholeness. Despite the presence of illness and living in a country with divided ideologies I will always take the high road. Let grace show me the way and dignity speak for me.

Hopefully my body will release me from some of the challenges I bear once I follow my new path. I look to examples of many courageous people like Helen Keller, Oliver Sacks, Muhammed Ali, Michael J. Fox, Chance Smith, Lizzie Valesquez, Randy Pausch and so many others. Despite adversity they chose to live out loud.

I need to take that first step back, to create enough space between me and the madness of those dark clouds. When I do I pray my body will respond by helping me rediscover the life I miss so dearly.

Wouldn't that be lovely? I hope you'll join me in choosing a new path for yourself. Let this be the year that kindness outweighs animosity and goodness will always prevail.

Random Acts of Kindness for Caregivers During National Caregivers Month

November is National Caregivers Month, a time to recognize the often-overlooked dedication of over 40 million unpaid U.S. caregivers who provide care for a family member or friend. Most caregivers are not medical professionals. They are caring and compassionate people who are responsible for the physical and emotional needs of someone struggling with the tasks of daily living.

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We are either caregivers, have a caregiver or know of one. Their role is an important one both functionally and economically. We recognize that their responsibilities can be rewarding, exhausting, confusing or frustrating. Many are boomer women sandwiched in between the needs of their parents and children while continuing to be a part of the work force. Their role is not an easy one.

During the month of November it's important for us to recognize the hard work and dedication of all caregivers. They deserve our gratitude and thanks.

That’s why AARP created a community where caregivers can connect with experts and other caregivers to find valuable information and tools to help them take care of themselves.

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Engagement photo, 1987. My husband takes on the role of caregiver as my MS changes with age. He sees us as a team and takes care of me when I need it. With a smile on his face he makes sure I continue to be as healthy as possible. I feel blessed to be his wife. This week we'll be celebrating our 27th wedding anniversary!

The Ad Council, in conjunction with AARP, is trying to raise awareness for the Caregiver Assistance campaign. This year they are kicking off a program designed to encourage all Americans to perform an unexpected ‘Random Act of Kindness’ for a caregiver.

By starting a nationwide movement their aim is to raise awareness of caregiving and caregivers while also directly reaching caregivers. It is their hope that this campaign will help alleviate some of the daily stresses caregivers face and reward them for their ongoing support.

Here’s how you can take part in Random Acts of Kindness for Caregivers:

Want to share this important campaign on social media? Here are some sample tweets:

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post on behalf of Element Associates and Midlife Boulevard.

Holocaust Remembrance Day: Let Us Remember And Say A Prayer For Peace

Tonight and tomorrow is Yom Hashoah, or Holocaust Remembrance Day, which serves as a memorial to the six million Jews who perished in the Holocaust between 1933 - 1945. There will be readings of the names of victims in locations all over the world.

"If we wish to live and to bequeath life to our offspring, if we believe that we are to pave the way to the future, then we must first of all not forget." ~Professor Ben Zion Dinur, Yad Vashem, 1956

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The year was 1978 and I was a sophomore in college, sitting cross-legged on my bed, alone in my dorm room watching television. I was lost, unaware of my surroundings except for the gripping drama that was unfolding before me.

It was the last of a four-part series starring Meryl Streep, James Woods, John Houseman and Michael Moriarty. Holocaust told the fictional story of a German Jewish family being ripped apart by the Nazi regime.

I felt like my heart was palpitating out of my chest and my hands were sweaty.

I grew up learning about the Holocaust through family stories and what our Hebrew School teachers taught us. In high school one history teacher showed the film Night and Fog, a brutal documentary about the history and liberation of concentration camps. It included film footage of piles of discarded bodies being tossed into mass graves after being murdered in Nazi crematoriums.

I saw the film in Hebrew School and uncharacteristically spoke up to beg my teacher to excuse me from class. He flatly refused. I stormed out of the room thinking, "Let him fail me for the day. I don't care. I don't want to start having those nightmares again."

After the fourth part of Holocaust ended I quickly ran down the hall to use our dorm's hallway telephone. There was one person I knew that I desperately needed to talk to.

My father. He was the man I trusted and respected more than anyone else, and was the one person who I knew could offer me reassurances that what I just watched on TV would never happen again.

Today as a parent I think back on that moment from my dad's point of view. I realize how naive I was, and that what I was about to ask him would be the most difficult question I ever asked. I wanted him to reassure his little girl, the one who lived in a Utopian universe, that everything would be alright.

I remember hearing a long pause in my father's voice after he excitedly answered the phone. In his analytical mind he must have raced to find the right words to say. There were none. I wanted a guarantee that he simply could not give to me.

Thinking back I realize I grew up a lot that day. The world was no longer filled with the promise of a happily ever after for everyone. I grew up hearing over and over again "Never Again" but somehow seeing this series finally connected all the dots. From that day forward I became more aware about the realities of war, maniacal dictators, and the truth that "man's inhumanity to man" is still going on somewhere in the world.

When I was 14 I spent the summer in Israel and our group visited Yad Vashem, the Holocaust History Museum in Jerusalem. It was the first and only time that my group was quiet for the remainder of the day. If you plan on traveling to Israel I recommend that you make Yad Vashem part of your journey.

I am not a religious person but a spiritual one, and I continue to believe in tolerance, compassion and kindness. In today's world that may seem naive, but so be it. So as I say private prayers for the memory of those who perished in the Holocaust I will continue to also hope that all wars, all genocides, will someday come to an end so that future generations will, as it says in Isaiah, never "learn war any more."

"Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more." ~Isaiah 2:3-4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#1000Speak: My True Stories Of Compassion And How 1,000 Bloggers Will Change The World

Today is United Nations World Day of Social Justice, and over one thousand bloggers worldwide will join their voices to speak through their blogs about compassion. I am one of them. Let's flood the blogosphere with compassion, kindness, non-judgement and good! Please use hashtag #1000Speak to help spread the word.

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 My Three Stories of Compassion

The kittens and their mother were barely surviving after being left to fend for themselves on a tiny piece of cold concrete used for a "U-turn" sign on a busy highway. The dedicated rescuer cautiously approached them despite the speeding cars rushing by. She scooped them up into her loving arms, and brought them to the local shelter where eventually they were adopted.

Compassion.

The young boy was taunted relentlessly at school. The crowd of bullies never understood that what is seen with the eye is never the sum total of who a person is. Running wildly to escape the anger of the gathering mob, he could not depend on his nearsightedness to avoid the stop sign he collided with. The crowd gasped in horror, and a brave girl stepped forward to help him to his feet and walk him home. Her understanding heart taught him that not everyone is ignorant.

Compassion.

The young nurse was witness to heartbreaking stories of patients being turned away because they were unable to pay for the care they needed. She saw the look of desperation in their eyes and when it became too much she silently said to herself that enough was enough. She opened a new center, one where patients could seek treatment from qualified doctors, nurses and therapists despite their ability to pay. She changed the climate of care centers where every patient matters, and each one is treated with the dignity and respect they deserve.

Compassion.

These true stories are about people I respect and admire who not only possess compassion but use it to make a difference in the world.  

In a world where violence and intolerance are on the rise, where bigotry, partisanship and anger are front page news, we need compassion now more than ever.

Compassion is defined as "sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others" but it's so much more. It's putting yourself in someone else's shoes before passing judgement. It's putting someone else's needs ahead of your own. It's taking action to make someone else's life easier, safer or better.

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I believe the world would be a better place if we all realized how interconnected we all really are. In a recent issue of Philosophy Now, Professor Michael Allen Fox wrote:

"Compassion hinges on the realization that we’re all in the same boat. We all share a common existential situation to the extent that humans (and nonhumans) are vulnerable and, at a very basic level, quest after security and an environment in which to flourish biologically and to pursue some form of fulfillment. We are therefore as much in need of compassionate treatment from others as they are from us."

It's time to join the movement!! One where kindness is the only answer. Being non-judgmental is the only behavior. And compassion is the rule.

NOTE: Many thanks to the compassionate bloggers Yvonne Spence and Lizzi Rogers who gave birth to #1000Speak. It is their vision to turn the blogosphere on its ear by jamming social media with GOOD.

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