Why I Want To Remember Cary Grant On His Birthday

The other day as I was driving into Manhattan, I turned on my favorite XM radio station called Radio Classics.  I instantly recognized the actor speaking and thought to myself, “Perfect timing.”

Cary Grant

My copy of a 1971 LOOK Magazine featuring Cary Grant

Despite bumper-to-bumper traffic, crazy drivers and torrential rain, nothing bothered me.  That's because I was listening to an episode of Suspense starring my all-time favorite actor, Cary Grant.

In honor of Cary’s January 18th birthday, (I feel funny calling him Mr. Grant because he seems so familiar to me, and also because readers might be confused by thinking I’m referring to Mary Richard’s boss) they were playing back-to-back episodes of his radio appearances.

I’d like to briefly explain why I’ve always been in love with Cary Grant.  I know there are millions of others who are in love with him, but I’m the one who has, in all honesty, loved him the most.

At first, it was his dashing good looks that caught my eye, and of course his wit and charm as well.  But as I got older, I recognized there was so much more to him.

He is, and always will be, the greatest comedic actor of all time.  Let me prove it to you. Watch his performances in His Girl Friday or Arsenic and Old Lace.  His comic timing is pure genius, and his pratfalls and back flips (perfected during his youth when he was an acrobat) are adeptly intertwined into the movie dialogue with rhythmic precision.

You can’t help but laugh.

Cary Grant Movies

My collection, so far, of Cary Grant movies.

There’s also his dramatic acting.  I can watch him, over and over, in any Alfred Hitchcock film and notice something new, some tiny nuance, that I hadn’t noticed before.

Watch his eyes carefully, and the way he reacts to the other actors.  Don’t take your eyes off of him for one second. You’ll not only learn about good acting, but also why he was so successful at his craft.

You’re never quite sure if he’s trying to kill Joan Fontaine.  You're unsure if he'll stop harassing Ingrid Bergman while she’s being secretly poisoned by Claude Rains.

No matter what the outcome may be, you'll remain on his side because he's always a likable character.

That’s why he’s the consummate performer.

I’ll never understand why he never won an Academy Award, or why he was only nominated twice (Penny Serenade and None but the Lonely Hearts) despite his long and varied career.

In 1970, the Academy awarded him with an Honorary Oscar for, “his unique mastery of the art of screen acting with the respect and affection of his colleagues.

After Frank Sinatra presented him with his award, he wiped the tears from his eyes as the audience continued with their standing ovation.

He was a private man who would never grow old in his movies, quitting Hollywood at the age of 62 to focus on fatherhood for his newborn daughter, Jennifer.

In the age of YouTube I sometimes catch glimpses of Cary at various tributes, like The American Film Institute or The Kennedy Center Honors.  He’s always smiling, always laughing, and still handsome with his silvery hair and black glasses.

He seems kind, sweet and gracious.

There’s one last reason why I’ve fallen more in love with Cary Grant with each passing year.  His performances take me away, to a place where I can forget the demands and stresses of my world and place me smack in the middle of his.

When my husband or I have a bad day, we have a ritual that’s evolved over the years.  We watch His Girl Friday and laugh out loud while marveling at Cary’s brilliant rapid-fire repartee with Rosalind Russell.

So a very Happy Birthday to Cary Grant.  I hope that, wherever you are, you know how much you’ve meant to millions of movie lovers over the years.

But remember that I loved you the most.

Who is your favorite actor?

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Changing The Face Of Disability Into The Face Of Ability And How Hollywood Helped Us Change It

I have never been invisible.  Not before my diagnosis or after.  I have a voice.  I have opinions.  And these days my dance card is as full as ever.

dreams and aspirations

I want to use my voice to make a difference in the world.  I want to change the face of disability into the face of ability.

Anyone with an illness, from asthma to cancer to every ailment in between, is the same person they were before their diagnosis.  Our dreams, aspirations, hopes and ideas remain unchanged.

The only difference is how we make our dreams come true.

Having an illness doesn’t change who we are.  Seconds before our diagnosis and moments afterward only changes the physical part of us.  It will not, and should not, change the core of what makes us uniquely who we are.

Research. Learn. Rail against mediocrity in all forms, and against anyone trying to tell us that we can no longer be the person we once were.

We must now be our own best advocates, and our own best friends.

map of the world

We must trust our instincts and hold tight to our dreams, because together they will point the way toward achieving a life that still matters.  The map may look  different, but the destination is the same.

We must always remember to keep our eye on the prize.

I recently began watching the serial drama “The West Wing” that originally aired on television from 1999 – 2006.  Primarily set in the West Wing of The White House, it gives us an inside look at the day-to-day operations of the President of the United States and his senior staff.

It was the first time a main character of a popular weekly program had the same affliction I have, and the first time it was accurately portrayed.

Hollywood finally got it right.

Josiah Bartlet (played by Martin Sheen) was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting Multiple Sclerosis.  His wife, chief of staff and physician quietly managed his grueling, stressful schedule to stave off any exacerbations from his MS.

This fictional character portraying the most powerful man in the free world had a disability.  He was a brilliant, vibrant and compassionate character, and although he was fictional, an important message was conveyed to audiences about having a disability:

Living with a disability is not the sum total of who you are.  It is what you do with your abilities that define you and brings value to you and to the world. 

My road map has changed many times over the years.  I’ve been bruised, battered and kicked around by my illness.  And every time I was knocked down, I became stronger with a new resolve to do the best I can within my abilities.

Like Josiah Bartlet, I choose to bring value to myself and to the world.

I write about the roadblocks I've encountered and overcome as a way of empowering others to do the same.  Together, we will change the face of disability into the face of ability by doing what we do best - being ourselves.

We are not invisible.  We have opinions. And our dance cards will be always be filled.

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