Are You More Than Your Disease? Tell Us How in the #MoreThan Campaign

There's a new campaign in town that I'm very excited about. It's called #MoreThan and it's sponsored by the phenomenal website PatientsLikeMe whose mission is to put patients first by partnering with over 500,000 people who live with 2,700 conditions. That's extraordinary, don't you think?'

ALS * Bipolar disorder * Brain injury * Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/ME * Crohn's Disease * Depression * Diabetes * Epilepsy * Fibromyalgia * HIV/AIDS * IBS * Idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis * Lupus * Mood Conditions * Multiple Sclerosis * Organ Transplants * Parkinson's Disease * Psoriasis * PTSD *  Pulmonary Fibrosis * Rare Diseases * RLS/WED * Ulcerative Colitis * and much more

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The campaign is a unique way to showcase why we are so much more than our disease. We won't let illness define the incredible, beautiful people we are. We may live with some crazy symptoms but we're also mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, daughters and sons, friends, coworkers, artists, engineers, mechanics, lawyers, athletes, teachers, nurses, entrepreneurs......

You can read my story on why I'm #MoreThan my MS at PatientsLikeMe.

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[ctt template="5" link="59Ayk" via="no" ] Are you more than your disease? Join the #MoreThan campaign Tell us why U ARE more @cathyches @patientslikeme[/ctt]

Take a look at this video to get a sense of the incredible people who are already part of the #MoreThan campaign.

“We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails.” ~Author Unknown

Now it's your turn to join the campaign. It's simple. Follow the next three steps and you're done!

Together we are the answer!

campaignBefore you go I hope you take a look at why John is #MoreThanMS. I loved hearing him tell his sweet story on why he is so much more than his disease.

I hope you join this campaign. I can't wait to read why you are #MoreThan your illness.

How To Find The Happiness You're Looking For

When I searched for the word “happiness” Google provided me with “almost 347,000,000 results” and Amazon showed 88,766 books on the subject. Then I searched for articles about happiness and found 75,800,000; there were also 1,100,000 results for happiness retreats.

happiness

Has happiness become so elusive, so unattainable that we need help finding it? Do we know how to be happy and to live in happiness? Do you think our forefathers wondered how to find their true happiness or is this a modern dilemma?

I can’t imagine John Adams writing heartfelt letters to Abigail about finding the key to happiness.

Wikipedia defines happiness this way:

Happiness quote Wikipedia

So what is all the fuss about?

This week we watched the movie “Hector and the Search for Happiness” (2014) starring Simon Pegg, Rosamund Pike, Toni Collette and Christopher Plummer. The story is about a disillusioned psychiatrist who leaves his girlfriend and his practice in search of true joy and, well, happiness. In many ways this movie reminded me of “Eat Pray Love”; both are stories about economically privileged individuals flying around the world in search of happiness.

For some reason the Hector movie stayed with me and I couldn’t figure out why. I mean it was fun and enjoyable but not exactly Oscar worthy. So why was I thinking about it? Did something resonate with me? Was happiness eluding me, too? Or did I simply miss travelling the way we used to?

I heard a definite answer of YES to the travel question, but what about the others?

Anyone who knows me knows how much I want to move somewhere south, or west to California. They also know how much I’d love having my closest friends live nearby so we’d be able to share the everyday minutiae of our lives.

I’ve spent a long time thinking that my dreams were a destination to my happiness. I’ve long imagined being surrounded by palm trees ever since I was 10 years old and visited Florida for the first time. Leaving New Jersey behind during the winter felt like stepping out of a black-and-white movie and into a colored one. I was smitten for life.

It finally dawned on me that Hector taught me a valuable lesson: It was time to stop dwelling on the future and begin living more fully in the present. I’ve wasted too much time thinking about how much better my life would be if all my ducks were in a neat little row.

The future I’ve imagined may or may not happen. In the meantime, as I daydream about the future, I may be missing out on moments of happiness that surround me now. In this moment. And this one. And the next one. And the one after that.

"The secret to living the life of your dreams is to start living the life of your dreams today. In every little way you possibly can."~Mike Dooley

Happiness happens when you stop to look for it. Power down and be still. Quiet your mind. Look within yourself and all around you. Do you see it? Can you find it? It’s there.

It’s in the little moments of cuddling with your spouse, hugging your child, or being amused by your pets. It’s spending time talking to loved ones both near and far. It’s in a walk outdoors, being absorbed in a delicious book or watching an incredible movie. And, of course, biting into a scrumptious piece of heavenly dark chocolate.

Happiness is in the every day, ordinariness of life. Like Ferris Bueller said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

Be fully present in all the moments of your life. Living fully and being aware of our blessings makes the moments of our lives more precious, without room for any regret. Being fully present means not waiting for a time in the future to make our happiness. Instead our happiness is now.

Do I still want to move out of winter? You bet. Would I still be happy having my closest friends live nearby? Absolutely. Am I always happy? That’s impossible. But Hector helped me realize how I can have more attainable life goals. So I’m not giving up on my dreams, I’m simply redirecting them in a positive way.

And that makes me happy.

 

 

 

 

How To Create A Brilliant List To Maintain A Brilliant Life

I can't imagine my 56th birthday being more brilliant. Spending an entire day in the company of my husband and son while having their undivided attention -  no Sports Center, stock tickers, political arguments or social media - was something I was more than looking forward to.

In our family the birthday girl or boy chooses how they want to spend their special day. More times than not I've wanted to do something cultural in Manhattan. So I gave my husband a list of plays I wanted to see, and he and my son took care of the rest.

Every Brilliant Thing

We went to the small theatre-in-the-round, the Barrow Street Theatre, to see the creative and interactive one-man show, "Every Brilliant Thing." The play is about a young boy growing up who does his best to distract his suicidal mother by creating a list of joyful things that make life worth living.

This hour-long play stars the charmingly funny Brit Jonny Donohoe who creates a character that is bright, funny and engaging, something that's not easy to do considering the subject at hand. Yet Donohoe handily succeeds.

As an emotionally damaged boy who never stops searching for a happier life, we, the audience, interact with the story according to the lines and roles Donohoe assigns us when we first take our seats. His poignant and honest depiction of how suicide affects a family makes us laugh and cry as we remain ever hopeful that both mother and son will survive intact.

(Not to give too much away, but our favorite brilliant thing on the character's list was, "Christopher Walken's voice....and hair." Ha!)

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Like any dedicated blogger, as I sat and watched the play my mind began to race.  How could I write about brilliant lists for my blog? Then it dawned on me: Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone would create their own brilliant list? A list that would make them feel happy to write and joyful to read?

Your list will never be finished, because as we age and experience more and more life lessons, we add our positive experiences to our brilliant list. Just like the main character in the play, there are thousands and thousands of reasons why every brilliant thing we love - everything that makes our heart sing or brings a smile to our face - makes a positive difference in our lives.

So on days when you're having some self-doubt or perhaps feeling a little sad, you'll have your brilliant list to comfort you. It will serve as a reminder of the things that matter most -  the simple joys that make life worthwhile.

Here are some things that are on my brilliant list. In the comments below I'd love to read what's on your brilliant list. Remember, there is no right or wrong. It's whatever feels brilliant to you!

What's on your brilliant list?

 

A Thanksgiving Wish In Photos And Verse

Are you sick and tired of reading posts about gratitude and why it's important to count your blessings? Did you say yes?

Well, brace yourself for one more. Because I have so much to be thankful for, and there's no better day than today to show my love and gratitude for all of the blessings in my life.

The photos below show only a portion of what I am thankful for. My apologies to anyone I inadvertently left out or don't have a photo of.

If you are reading this that means you've added some special meaning to my life, and for that I thank you with a poem by Emerson:

Cultivate a habit of being grateful.

Thanksgiving

For every good thing that comes to you,

Thanksgiving

and to give thanks continuously,

Thanksgiving

and because all things have contributed,

Thanksgivingto your advancement,

Thanksgiving

you should include all things in your gratitude.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Chester Family wishes you and your loved ones a joyful Thanksgiving!!

OTHER POSTS YOU MIGHT ENJOY:

A Shared Journey In Gratitude By Two Friends Living Miles Apart: The Power Of The Heart

 I agreed to be part of the SheSpeaks program for the soon-to-be released book and movie “The Power of the Heart." Eighteen spiritual leaders (such as Isabel Allende, Paolo Coehlo and Eckhart Tolle) join the author in teaching us about finding our own life’s path through gratitude, forgiveness, courage and love. 

Power of the Heart

I shared my extra copy with someone who’s been a big part of my life for (gulp) 45 years. Although we live far from each other we had our own private Book Club, discussing one chapter we particularly enjoyed through a series of emails.

Hi Deb~

I'm happy we’re reading "The Power of the Heart" together!

Do you realize we've been friends since grade school, and that despite the twists and turns in our lives we’ve always come out on top because we had each other to lean on?

Unconditional love.

It makes total sense that we chose Chapter 6, "The Power of Gratitude" to discuss. Because as Neale Donald Walsch explains: 

"When you are grateful for everything you have, your heart is open. You appreciate the people in your life and they reciprocate. And gratitude creates more abundance." 

When I count my blessings I count our friendship as one. And after reading this chapter I've learned that gratitude is the ultimate way to connect with the heart.

With love~
Cath  

Dear Cath, 

I love reading "The Power of the Heart" with you and sharing our thoughts and feelings. It brings me closer to you and I feel your love across the miles! When you mentioned grade school, I remember meeting you for the first time and how terribly shy I felt on my first day of class in a new school, living in a new state. Seeing your warm, open, friendly face beaming at me from the desk next to me immediately put me at ease and I knew I had a friend for life! So that certainly brings gratitude into my heart for your friendship, support and love over the years. The author of “The Power of the Heart”, Baptist De Pape, wrote: 
 
"You release love within yourself by appreciating life and the people around you."

I appreciate you being in my life Cathy and am so very grateful for our friendship!

In gratitude,
Deb

Deb,

Wow. You really touched my heart…

It’s funny that you used the same word "appreciate" that the author, Baptist DePape, did. He and the 18 spiritual leaders in the book, teach us that to have gratitude in our heart also means to be able to appreciate all that we have, even after great loss.

Everyone suffers some kind of loss as we age. It's a natural occurrence, a part of life. By feeling grateful and appreciating what we do have – right now - will help us, as the author explains, "shift into a larger, more positive dimension." 

We and (your twin sister) Dawn have always appreciated the goodness in life. The three of us are spiritual in nature, and it's what's grounded us to be able to live happier and loving lives.

I love this discussion!
Cath

Cathy, 
I agree, loss and times of challenge are a natural part of life, which makes living in appreciation and gratitude that much more meaningful. During those more difficult times, the key for me is awareness of seeking out and seeing the positive. 

I love this insight from Howard Martin:

"To find something in those times when life is tough, to appreciate something about them or appreciate something about something else, it begins to shift the energies very, very quickly so that you come into another level of buoyancy that rises above the problem. And in doing so, you can then see into it. You can then find ways to deal with it." 

He explains that it requires "opening to the intelligence of the heart" during difficult times.  How true this is. For me, it takes sitting quietly with myself and tuning in to what my heart says. When I listen carefully, my heart has the answers. 

Wishing you a heart-FULL day...
Deb

Deb,

As we age we’ll be finding about how important it is to keep gratitude in our hearts for everything.

Growing up we found comfort and a sense of awe in nature. Today we continue with it, and are both blessed to live nearby and take advantage of the beauty of the ocean. Walking along a beach, listening to the sound of the waves, those are simple blessings. 

I am grateful for those blessings. They may sound small to some, but to me nature is what keeps my heart open. As Ruediger Schache says:

“If you express yourself in appreciation or in gratitude, it’s like sending love to G-d, sending love out in the universe. Gratitude is opening the heart.”

I’m so grateful~

Cath 

Cheers to a long life as friends, Cath. I'm excited to read further in the book on The Power of Intention and Intuition, Creating Authentic Power, Synchronicity and more! This Book Club from afar isn't a bad idea to continue:)

Love and peace,
Deb 

Deb~

I love this Book Club of ours, too! 

The book says it’s important to count ALL of the blessings in our lives. Here are 3 that happened to me over the last few days​:

​I'm sad we’ve finished sharing this chapter, but thankful we got to read it together.

 Love~
Cathy

Cath,

Yes, lets continue sharing more insights as we read on! Here are three blessings that took place for me this past week:

Deb and her two partners are co-creators of Joy Kids Universe, a company whose vision is to provide a positive foundation that inspires young children to learn to LOVE without judgment, to CREATE without limits, and to LEARN freely and joyfully each day. Check it out!

NOTE: This is a sponsored post for SheSpeaks/The Power of The Heart and I received two free copies of the book. All expressed opinions are solely my own.

The Book and movie will both be available on October 7. For more information, or to see a clip of the spiritual teachers in the book and movie, please visit ThePoweroftheHeart.com. 

The Dark Cloud Of Depression

As my heart aches from the untimely death of Robin Williams, I decided I'd tell my own story about depression. I hope it will ignite a much-needed dialogue that may help to remove the ridiculous stigma attached to those afflicted with depression.

black dark cloud depression

In times of great crises we all need to feel safe and loved, enabling us to reach out and openly communicate with others about our feelings. Then, perhaps, one bad moment in somebody's life will lead to a better moment, and then another one and another. One day at a time.

Here is my story.

A few years ago I had the misfortune of waking up in terrific pain, feeling as if a knife was stabbing me from the inside out. My back and abdomen battled against each other as I cried out in agony. I stupidly withstood it, knowing that my nephew's Bar Mitzvah, an important occasion in our family, was occurring that weekend. I have no idea how I got dressed, or put on my tight stockings and skirt. I could barely move, sit or bend.  Yet somehow I made it through the ceremony and reception.  The next morning I finally went to the emergency room, and after six long hours in the waiting room, I was misdiagnosed and then diagnosed with kidney stones. And gallstones.

To make a very long story short, it took weeks to have two surgeries, one lithotripsy, and weeks of recuperating at home.

But worse than the pain was the dark, black cloud that constantly loomed over me. It felt as if I was imprisoned in my own body, unable to be the person I once was. I couldn't get dressed, I couldn't eat, and I had no interest in anything but the dark cloud. I began losing weight, and sat in a chair all day and stared out the window.

I thought I was losing my mind.

The guilt of not being able to care for my son that summer ate away at my heart. He stayed with different family members, and my husband filled in whenever he wasn't working. My parents would visit and bring dinner, but I couldn't rally to sit at the table to join them. The lost look on their faces still haunts me. What was happening to their daughter? How could they help me?

The answer is they couldn't, because I had no idea what was happening to me.

Then one day I was told that my hormones were completely out of whack, and because of what my body endured with kidney and gallstones, the terrible physical pain I endured, and having my MS begin to exacerbate itself, something I'd never experienced before was happening: depression.

My loved ones convinced me that I was not meant to have depression long-term; they were sure of that. They assured me there was no shame in reaching out for help to take care of myself, and urged me to find a qualified therapist for some "talk therapy" combined with the right medications.

They were right.

It took awhile, but I finally found a therapist I was comfortable with, and through trial and error I found the right medication. Slowly I began to crawl away from the dark and back into the light. I climbed back into my old self, and eventually weaned off the medication.

I took back control of my life.

But my life was changed forever, because I got a very small glimpse of what it's like to live with depression. There are days of horrible, unreasonable thoughts, and times when you believe your life is not worth it. The world has a dark filter on it, and everything seems difficult.

It's pure hell.

Watching reporters for the last day talk about Robin Williams, I've heard ridiculous statements such as snapping out of depression because of all the love that surrounds you.  If you've never walked in the shoes of depression you have no idea what you're talking about. Robin Williams had severe depression, and only his family and close friends know what he endured. Who are we to guess?

I wish he had found the right combination of therapy and medication, but for now let's stop the guessing and let his family have their privacy to fully grieve in peace.

I pray that Robin has finally found peace. He was heaven to us on earth. I hope that now he is having fun making Jonathan Winters, Johnny Carson and G-d laugh, and that our talented and big-hearted Genie is laughing along with them.

USEFUL RESOURCES:
National Alliance on Mental Illness
National Suicide Prevention Hotline

If Violence,Tragedy Or Illness Strike, Will You Choose To Allow Gratitude Into Your Heart?

“Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.” ~Aesop

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A friend of mine recently published a blog post on why she feels grateful about the life she leads.  I enjoyed reading how her days are filled with joy and gratitude.  Her accompanying photographs reveals the beauty that surrounds her, and I felt, for a brief moment, the light that emits from within her heart and soul.

I felt grateful.

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” ~Willie Nelson

This week I learned of tragedies happening to some friends who live far away.  Their pain was palpable as I read their pleas for prayer and good thoughts.  I reflected on my life and my own daily struggles.  Their pleas put my troubles into perspective.

I am grateful.

“To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant,
to enact gratitude is generous and noble,
but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.” ~ Johannes A. Gaertner

Long Brach Aug 2013

Black arrows on left show where boardwalk used to be before Hurricane Sandy. Black arrows on right show temporary walkway.

On Sunday I spent a magical day with my husband, as we call it in New Jersey, “down the shore.” The weather was perfect without a cloud in the sky.  A gentle breeze blew, keeping the heat of the sun at bay.  The Jersey shore is alive and well in the wake of Hurricane Sandy.  The phrase “Jersey Strong” says it all, and we benefitted from that strength. We stretched out, side-by-side, on our little corner of the beach, talking and laughing and listening to the sound of the waves.

I was grateful.

“No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has escaped the kingdom of night.” ~Elie Wiesel, accepting Nobel Peace Prize (1986)

moon-72571_1280

An Islamic group claimed responsibility for rocket fire in Israel and declared no Israeli town to be safe.  Two small towns in Nigeria were victim to violent attacks by gunfire that resulted in at least 56 deaths.  Violent clashes in Xinjiang (China) left 21 dead and two people were sentenced to death.  These are a few of the leading stories in today’s news.  Violence is everywhere.  The world is a scary place.  We no longer feel the comfort and safety we felt before the horrific events of 9/11.  Today we are more cautious, knowing that violence happens on our own soil.  These thoughts crawl in and out of my consciousness, and I am aware of the possibilities that surround me.

I steadfastly remain grateful.

“It is impossible to feel grateful and depressed in the same moment.” ~Naomi Williams, Body, Mind and Spirit

I was surprised, thrilled and deeply honored to have my first ever BlogHer post about attending BlogHer with a disability featured on the cover (which I understand is hallowed ground) of the BlogHer website. I wrote it not only for myself, but also for the disability community I speak to every day.  They continue to inspire and empower me.  I am ironically grateful for my diagnosis, because without it I would never have had a chance to meet the incredible people who have entered my life.

I will always be grateful.

“A noble person is mindful and thankful for the favors he receives from others.” ~The Buddha

Good and bad, decent and evil may enter into our lives at any given moment. These are the realities of our world.  These are also the truths of aging. 

I believe we all have two options.  Yes, it really is that simple.  We can choose from Column A or B.

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My wise and beloved uncle once told me, “Life is for the living.”  He told me to enjoy my life, drink it all in, and savor every pleasant moment.  He said the world is a wondrous place, and it was up to me to live each day fully.  He lived by his words, and I choose to do the same.

Which column will you choose?

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