When Life Keeps Handing You Lemons: Handling The Difficulties Of Life

God helps us handle multiple sclerosis

Lately I've been thinking about this quote from the Bible:

"God only gives us what we can handle." 

While it's often said that this quote appears in the Bible, that is a fallacy. Instead, the actual verse goes like this:

"No temptation has seized you that isn't common for people. But God is faithful. He won't allow you to be tempted beyond your abilities. Instead, with the temptation, God will also supply a way out so that you will be able to endure it. "~Corinthians 10:13

SPOILER: Don't worry.  I'm not going to start preaching about religion, the existence of G-d or espouse my personal beliefs.

Life throws us curve balls

It's inevitable that life will throw us curves as we age.  If we're lucky, we live a life filled with many blessings, and the darkness of illness, financial hardships or despair rarely comes our way.

But unfortunately that is not always the case.  While it seems as if some people sail through life unscathed by darkness, others seem to have darkness dumped on them. When that happens, it feels as if a pitching machine is throwing curve balls at you while you stand still, too paralyzed to move.

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful." ~Buddha  

Life has been throwing me many curve balls lately, and although I try to stay strong and positive, there are times when I just give up.

I give in to sadness, and begin to feel sorry for myself. I'm only human.

I see friends traveling around the country and wish I could join them. I see healthy, vibrant people not being weighed down by the worry of illness.  I'm jealous of anyone living in a warm climate and not having to deal with this unnerving winter weather. (How many more days until spring???)

Snow Difficulties with MS

Feeling this way  won't change anything, and it's a destructive and useless way to be. But what can I do to change it?

How I focus on the positive while living (and aging) with MS

As we age, it's important for us to learn how to focus on getting through the difficulties of life as best as we can. There are a myriad of ways to do this.  Here are some I'm going to try.  How about you?

  1. Do what you love.  Playing a sport, spending more time with your children, joining a gym, writing or knitting, or picking up a hobby you've put aside are some ideas.  Refocusing your attention can revitalize and refresh your mind, body and spirit.
  2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is invaluable.  "Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events.  The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel / act better even if the situation does not change." ~National Association of Cognitive Behavioral Therapists  
  3. Acknowledge your blessings : Acknowledging the blessings in your life - family, friends, accomplishments at work - is a powerful tool.  Focus on them. Then let the people in your life know how much they mean to you.  You'll be surprised at how good that will make you feel.
  4. Take time for yourself - Take a bubble bath and light some candles for a relaxing getaway from the world.  Get a hot stone massage.  Take a walk in the park to surround yourself with the beauty in nature.  Watch an old movie that makes you laugh.  Do something that feels good and rejuvenates you.  You deserve it.
  5. Set daily goals for yourself - Use the ease of a program like Google Calendar to schedule daily personal tasks that make you happy. These personal goals will help you feel good, and are important for your well-being.
  6. Don't allow any disasters to pull you down -  Remind yourself of your successes, and remember the people who love you unconditionally and support you. Life is filled with ups and downs. What's important is how you handle them.

Stress Awareness Difficulties quote from Gerard Way

The miracle of everyday blessings

My fabulous cousin Gabrielle always knows the right thing to say. She empowers me with her wit and wisdom, especially when she says that when we're tested in life, it only means something awesome is waiting to happen.

I think Gabrielle's advice aligns itself with the quote from the Bible that's been on my mind. I finally understand that the strength we need to endure lies within ourselves. We must believe in the miracle of every day blessings, and the knowledge that we have the power to change how we think and feel.

How do you stay positive when life gets you down? 

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Would Jane Austen Promote Her Work On Social Media?

One of my favorite books is Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.  Her vibrant characters are woven around themes of social standing and strength of character, drawing the reader into a world different from ours.

Jane Austen

Jane Austen

When you read about the protagonist, Elizabeth Bennett, glancing at the wealthy and arrogant Mr. Darcy with a restrained yet loving expression, you have to wonder how the author, an unmarried woman of modest means, could develop characters that were not a reflection of her own life (her life was spent among the “lower fringes of English landed gentry.”) These stories were born in her fertile imagination.

Lately, I have asked how this book was promoted in the 19th century.

Ms. Austen did not have a publicist.  She did not have the Internet.  She did not have a telephone.

Today, Jane Austen would need a computer.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between Jane Austen’s literary world and the literary world of today.

 Do you think Jane Austen would be writing posts on Facebook, tweeting her latest work, or promoting on Instagram?  Would she feel the need to post pictures on Pinterest or develop a business profile for LinkedIn?

Today, we are overloaded between spending time writing and promoting ourselves and our work.

We all spend time networking, attending webinars and conferences, remaining active on social media, subscribing to instructional (and not-to-be-missed) newsletters, and staying current with the latest trends in technology.

I’ve gradually cultivated a new daily ritual, feeling like a robot from the old TV cartoon The Jetsons.  I wake up, grab my laptop and cell phone, walk to the kitchen, prepare my Keurig coffee cup, and sit at my desk.

I enter my passwords for Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, and Pinterest.  Emails patiently wait for me to read and respond.

While I’m busy on my laptop, my family is buzzing around me, getting ready for their day.  I barely have time to look up from the computer to say, “Hello,” “How did you sleep?” and “Have a nice day.”

Like many, I need to balance my professional and personal life better.  

A few years ago, I visited The Mount, the Lenox, Massachusetts home of novelist Edith Wharton. The beauty of the grounds, with its formal flower gardens and grass terraces, seemed like an absolute paradise for a writer to write.

The Mount, Home of Edith Wharton, Lenox, Massachusetts

The Mount, Home of Edith Wharton, Lenox, Massachusetts

I envisioned Ms. Wharton strolling across the meadow, thinking about the characters and plots she’d develop for “The Age of Innocence” and “The Buccaneers.”

It pleases me to think of that day.  Sometimes I daydream about it, visualizing myself living at The Mount. I stroll the grounds as Ms. Wharton did, preparing to write my novel.

Today, Edith Wharton would need a computer.

I love everything about being a writer.  I love creating stories and watching the flow of words take on a life of their own on a blank page.  I feel a feeling of accomplishment and a sense of pride after finishing every piece.

I love networking and meeting new exciting people who are fast becoming friends.  I enjoy being a part of the exciting "wild west" of social media and being a member of blogging communities that are supportive, nurturing, and informative.

Yet I can’t figure out how to perfectly balance my professional needs as a writer, my personal needs as a wife and mother, and my special needs as a person living with a disability.

I remember Dick Cavett interviewing Katharine Hepburn, and when he asked why she never married and had children, she explained, “You cannot have it all.”

Do you think she was right?

We can’t try to learn it all, read it all, do it all, write it all, and live it all while balancing our personal lives and remaining healthy.  It’s impossible.

We can prioritize what’s important to us, committing to gaining better control over our lives.

To remain whole and healthy while being productive and creative during our Second Chapter (and into our Third), we must look closer at managing our time and efforts. 

Here are a few things I'm doing to help balance my life.  They can help you, too, with the inevitable anxieties that come your way.

 

How do you stay on top of your writing assignments and social media while maintaining a healthy balance in your life?  How do you deal with the stress and anxiety in your life?

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