How A Human Rights Activist Provides Compelling Ideas On Islam

The latest presentation of the New Jersey Speakers Series held at the New Jersey Performing Arts Center was the international human rights activist and author Ayaan Hirsi Ali. Ali, a courageous, strong-willed and often-controversial figure was raised as a proud Muslim, fled her homeland of Somalia and eventually denounced her Muslim faith. Escaping an arranged marriage and suffering genital mutilation as a young girl, Ali dedicates her life to spreading awareness about violence against women and advocates for an “enlightened Islam.”

human rights life

Photo Credit: Michael Paras

Her work is an extension of her beliefs about fighting injustice, including her biographical books Infidel and Heretic, as well as her collaboration on Submission, a short film criticizing the treatment of women in Islam. The film, directed by Dutch filmmaker Theo Van Gogh, brought death threats against Ali and in 2004 Van Gogh was brutally assassinated by a Dutch-Moroccan Muslim.

In 1977 Ms. Ali’s father, a leading figure in the Somalian Revolution, escaped prison and moved the family to Saudi Arabia, Ethiopia and then Kenya. In 1992, while visiting a relative in the Netherlands, she sought political asylum and quickly obtained a residents permit. She found solace and knowledge in books, studying social work and getting a Master of Science degree in political science.

After the events of September 11, 2001 Ali renounced Islam and declared herself an atheist. She began writing articles and speaking out against abuse toward Muslim women in the Netherlands, drawing attention and eventually winning a seat in the Dutch Parliament.

After the bloody murder of Van Gogh the Dutch government stepped up security for Ali after finding a death threat against her pinned to the victim.

She resigned from the Dutch Parliament in 2006 and became a visiting scholar at The American Enterprise Institution in Washington, DC. After moving to the United States Ali became an American citizen and, soon after, Brandies University announced she would be presented with an honorary degree. The gesture was soon withdrawn after lobbying from American-Islamic groups.

Ali became a Fellow with the Future of Diplomacy Project at the Belfer Center for Science and International Affairs at The Harvard Kennedy School. She is currently researching the relationship between the West and Islam. She must live with round-the-clock security. Her willingness to speak out and her abandonment of the Muslim faith have made her a target for violence by Islamic extremists.

In 2005 TIME Magazine named her one of the 100 Most Influential People.

human rights life

Photo Credit: Michael Paras

She characterizes Islam as the “new fascism”:

"Just like Nazism started with Hitler's vision, the Islamic vision is a caliphate — a society ruled by Sharia law – in which women who have sex before marriage are stoned to death, homosexuals are beaten, and apostates like me are killed. Sharia law is as inimical to liberal democracy as Nazism." In this interview, she said, "Violence is inherent in Islam – it's a destructive, nihilistic cult of death. It legitimates murder." ~London Evening Standard, 2007 

As a girl growing up in suburban America Ms. Ali’s bio reads like a work of fiction, something foreign and distant from what I’ve known. Yet the details of her life are real, and her experiences provide us with a glimpse of the Muslim world as she interprets them for us. She explains her hopes for a more modern doctrine for Islam and an end to the horrors of terrorism, sectarian warfare and the repression of women and minorities.

“In 2000 you would have looked at me through different eyes. After September 11, 2001 we are here and now you are listening. Now you can identify with some degree with what I am talking about.” ~Ayaan Hirsi Ali

“I’m so grateful I made it, and making it through puts an obligation on me to help others. As I grew up in Somalia, Kenya and the Netherlands I was exposed to much. What stays with me and what I want to pass on to the next generation is not suffering but ideas that make it possible for human beings to make it through. Having fled an arranged marriage, having stood up to my father, I choose to pass on to my son and to others a radical change of ideas.” ~Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Ms. Ali’s life has been one of hardship, terror, violence, sacrifice and ultimately love. She carries a great burden on her shoulders when speaking out against Islam, its treatment of women and how she believes Muslims must view G-d as a loving one and not to embrace life after death. Her opinions are controversial and at times I disagreed with them. But in the end there’s no question she’s doing what she thinks she must in the name of saving young girls from suffering the horrors she did.

The world will be watching.

DISCLOSURE: I received three complimentary tickets to The New Jersey Speaker Series sponsored by Fairleigh Dickinson University All opinions are, as always, completely my own.

 

 

Sanjay Gupta and Why We Should Challenge Ourselves Every Day

I had no doubt I’d be fascinated while listening to Sanjay Gupta speak at the recent New Jersey Speaker Series. He reminds me of the great neurologist and author Oliver Sacks who once said, "It is a privilege to share your stories so others may learn from your wisdom and experience."

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Like Sacks, Gupta is a true Renaissance Man. Here are a few reasons why I feel confident saying that:

His role as chief medical correspondent for CNN won him several Emmy and Peabody Awards. His medical training and public health policy distinguish his reporting on medical science topics that include brain injury, disaster recovery, healthcare reform, fitness, military medicine and HIV/AIDS.

He’s reported from areas around the world that most of us have never heard of, so he's uniquely qualified in telling us that people are basically the same no matter where they live. They love their family, drive their kids to school, go to ATM’s, laugh, play, hope, dream and feel.

While in Iraq he covered medical aspects of the 2003 invasion and performed surgeries on both U.S. soldiers and Iraqi civilians under nearly impossible conditions.

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Photo Credit: Fairleigh Dickinson University

He’s a practicing neurosurgeon.

And on top of everything Dr. Gupta is happily married and the father of three children who are so young they’ve never known a time when their father was not on television. The question they have is why can Daddy answer them on Skype and not when he's on-screen while reporting on CNN?

He’s not only self-deprecating but, as most viewers already know, he’s as true and caring a person as you’d think he’d be.

He began his talk by informing us that the fear of public speaking is ranked higher than the fear of death. Imagine that! So, he surmised, someone attending a funeral would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy.

I wondered why he shared this odd fact with us right off the bat. It's because he wanted to share the advice his parents gave him, advice he’s now passing onto his children:

“You should do something every day that scares you. Do something that challenges you either mentally or physically. It’s what helped me try to do many things in my life. It helped me get out of my comfort zone. What does that mean? Ask yourself what do you want to do today, or what will you do that scares you?”

He asks us when was the last time we did something for the first time, because it’s important for us to always challenge our beliefs and ourselves, and learn to be comfortable with that.

I loved that, because as we age we should always remain curious. It’s what keeps our brains elastic and challenges us to continually learn and grow.

As I said in my last post I’ll be facing one of my fears in November, and now Dr. Gupta has inspired me to even dare to look forward to it.

I want to thank Dr. Gupta for covering so many topics that resonated with me. Here are just a few:

Medical Marijuana: Dr. Gupta’s opinion on medical marijuana changed after he took the time to scrutinize studies that seemed skewed toward failure. His findings led him to “be on the right side of science, but the wrong side of ideology.

He told the story of Charlotte, a little girl who had 300 seizures a day as her parents helplessly looked on. When traditional medicine didn’t work, medical marijuana did.

There are countless stories of people struggling with illness that traditional medicine can’t help, but medical marijuana does.

challengeI had the opportunity to speak privately with Dr. Gupta, and told him that many people in the Multiple Sclerosis community live with pain every day. When traditional medicine failed them they found relief with medical marijuana.

He was fascinated and, despite a long line of people waiting to meet him at the cocktail party we were invited to in his honor, he asked me to tell him more. My heart was full.

Taking risks: Sanjay Gupta learned about taking risks from his parents. He learned from his mom who, while living in Oklahoma in the 1960’s (and wearing a sari, something unusual in OK) went to school to become an automotive engineer. She drove to Michigan to find work, and as she reached Ann Arbor her car broke down. She knew no one. What was she going to do? She looked for a phone booth and leafed through the phone book to find an Indian sounding name. After making her first call she spoke to the roommate of the person she was trying to reach.

That man became her husband, Sanjay Gupta’s father.

Longevity: “How long can we live? How long do we want to live? When does old age begin? The answer depends on who’s being asked the question and most people think it’s a little bit older than they are, except the millennials who think old age begins around 60.”

The answer is, “How old do we FEEL?”

Most people over age 50 feel at least 10 years younger than their age. No one ever thinks they’re going to get old, and most of us believe that old age is worse than it actually is.

According to Dr. Gupta we tend to think of longevity in terms of 3 things: activity, nutrition and sleep. If we think about the solution to these 3 things we should think about this:

We’re becoming more aligned with technology, are learning more and more about genomics and have so many obvious inventions right in front of us. The future looks bright.

Telemedicine: I was happy to finally hear someone from the medical community talk about the importance of using telemedicine in healthcare. This is a pet peeve of mine.

Over the years I’ve been to countless doctors and hospitals that don’t use technology to create better patient care. A lot of vital information gets lost when switching doctors or forgetting your complete medical history. Just think how much better patient care would be if medical innovation were combined with modern technology. Dr. Gupta completely agrees.

Paying close attention to things: We need to respect everything, and never dismiss a thing that’s around us. As a doctor and journalist this idea has been of great value to Dr. Gupta. He believes this also holds great value for everyone. If we begin being mindful, we’ll lead a more joyous life by simply paying attention to the things that are right in front of us.

“You’re also going to fully realize that every single life matters and you’re going to care much more about the people around you.”

Pause.

“Like I care about you.”

As my friends and I were leaving we walked past Dr. Gupta in the hallway getting ready to leave. When he looked over in my direction I bid him good-bye, and with a smile and a gentle voice he wished me good luck with my work.

In my view it doesn't get much better than that.

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The New Jersey Speaker Series, presented by Fairleigh Dickinson University, returned for its second season of distinguished and influential speakers who will deliver insights on a wide variety of subjects. They are:

October 8: Leon E. Panetta, Former Central Intelligence Agency; Director and U.S. Secretary of Defense

October 29: Sanjay Gupta: Neurosurgeon and CNN Chief Medical Correspondent

November 19: Ken Burns, Award-winning Documentarian

January 28: Ayan Hirsi Ali: International Activist and Author

February 18: Diana Nyad, American author, journalist, motivational speaker and long-distance swimmer who swam from Cuba to Key West, Florida

March 17: Frank Abagnale, subject for Steven Speilberg’s film “Catch Me If You Can”

April 14: Michio Kaku, Theoretical Physicist and Futurist

Disclosure: I was provided with three tickets for the entire New Jersey Speaker Series. All opinions expressed are, as always, completely my own.

Two Time Pulitzer Prize Winner David McCullough Loves His Wife, Family, History And He's a Really Nice Guy

In the pantheon of our country’s greatest American historians David McCullough’s name will forever be thought of as one of the most brilliant caretakers of our nation’s history. He’s painted portraits with words and made history come alive. His exuberance about the human spirit is what sparks his interest to write book after book to teach all of us about the fabric that’s created our great nation.

David McCullough

He is an American treasure.

I was fortunate to hear Mr. McCullough speak at The New Jersey Speaker Series at NJPAC. It felt like I was sitting in a comfortable chair next to a dear friend. His warm and easy manner, and his voice (oh, that voice!) set the stage for what was a fascinating and brilliant presentation.

He endeared himself to the audience when he began by talking about his 60-year love affair with his beloved wife, Rosalee.

David McCullough

Who knew that at 81 years young this two-time Pulitzer Prize and National Book Award winner, and the recipient of The Presidential Medal of Freedom, was such a romantic? He continued to pay tribute to Rosalee by sweetly singing an old Bing Crosby tune:

My Girl's an Irish girl, with the blarney in her smile. She's the fairest in the Isle. Sure she sets people talking, when she goes out walking. My Girl's an Irish girl, from her head down to her toes. And no care in the world will harry me, when she promises to marry me. My sweet little Irish Rose.

His self-deprecating humor perfectly illustrates his down-to-earth manner. One of his many stories was about a young student who attended one of his lectures. After the question and answer period was over, the person in charge of handing the handwritten questions to Mr. McCullough quietly gave him one more as he whispered, “You might want to save this one.”

"Aside from John Adams and Harry Truman, how many presidents have you interviewed?"

David McCullough

Speaking for over 90 minutes without notes or slideshows, Mr. McCullough relied on his extraordinary intelligence and ability to tell a good story the way Will Rogers could spin a good yarn.

He demonstrates his love of history and history education by teaching and lecturing at over 100 universities across the country. He holds teachers in high regard because, as he says, today more than ever our culture is fast becoming illiterate, and history is essential to having quality leadership in our country.

Teachers are the most important people in our society. They are doing the work that counts and their capacity for inspiring and motivating young people will affect us far into the future.”  ~David McCullough

When I attended public school in the 1960’s our history books were old and lacking. Teachers did little to inspire us to learn more about figures such as Paul Revere or Abigail Adams. They remained merely footnotes on a page.

But I was blessed with parents who instilled a love of history at home, and together we visited many historical sites such as Williamsburg, Gettysburg, and Fort Ticonderoga while discussing their importance. (Editor's Note: I believe it is the responsibility of every parent to teach their child about our nation's history. Our children hold the country's future in their hands. You have to know where you've been before you can know where you're going.)

David McCullough is America's teacher because he knows the footnotes that have been neglected in schools across the nation, and spends years researching and writing about them to tell their story.

John Adams. Harry Truman. Theodore Roosevelt. The Greater Journey (Americans in Paris). The Johnstown Flood. The Path Between the Seas (Panama Canal). The Brooklyn Bridge. Mornings on Horseback (Theodore Roosevelt). Brave Companions: Portraits in History. 1776. In the Dark Streets Shineth: A 1941 Christmas Story. 

David McCullough

He's been “happily working for more than three years" on a book about The Wright Brothers. Coming out this May, this is the story of two self-taught brothers who grew up poor. Their father believed in the value of education, and knew that even a child's toy could be an instrument for learning. So their town library became their school, and it was there that they discovered art, history, and music and realized their aptitude for math and physics.

Theirs is a story not only about the bravery it takes to accomplish something that has never been done before, but also about the importance of learning from your failures and never giving up on yourself or your dreams.

The Wright Brothers, as in every David McCullough book, will leap off the pages as we spend time with them, and finally take their rightful place among timeless American figures .

END NOTE: My husband, mother and I attended an after party held to meet and take photographs with Mr. McCullough. Unlike other speakers, Mr. McCullough mingled with the guests and my mother (a lover of history who has read every David McCullough book and has a deep respect for him) made her way over to him to hold their own private conversation. I had no idea what they were talking about.

It looked liked they'd been friends for years.

When it was our turn with the photographer, I began to say the elevator speech I'd been nervously practicing all day, but I was interrupted by Mr. McCullough who, after seeing my mother again, exclaimed, “Here’s my belle.” Grabbing my mother’s hand, he directed how we'd stand for our “photo shoot.”

But before we left, we had two questions we hoped he'd answer.

My husband wanted to know if Mr. McCullough ever started to write about a subject that he changed his mind about. The answer was yes, Pablo Picasso, because he didn’t like him very much.

I asked if he’d ever consider writing a book about a woman, such as Betsy Ross or Dolly Madison. I should have been smart enough to know what his answer would be.

Yes. A book about Rosalee.

New Happiness Study By LANCET: Are You Middle Age Or A Senior?

As I was driving to meet a friend for lunch I turned the radio on to NPR's program "Here and Now" as they were beginning to discuss a new study published by LANCET. Michelle Roberts, the BBC News online Health Editor, was explaining a new happiness study that was linked to age, and that life follows a predictable course depending on where people live.

happiness middle age

I quickly thought what perfect timing this was since the broadcast sounded fascinating and could be the subject of my next NaBloPoMo post.

That was until I heard:

"In Western world nations, life satisfaction bottomed out between the ages of 45 and 54 before rising again."

According to this study midlife was between the ages of 45 -54Whoa! Really? For the next few minutes I didn't hear anything except the sound of my own thoughts racing inside my head.

A few of them were:

The study went on to say that, "This is the period at which wage rates typically peak and is the best time to work and earn the most."

Oh, boy.

So if they are correct about the age range of midlife, then my husband and I already hit our peak of wage rates (yikes!) AND we are now senior citizens (double yikes!)

When I got home I checked a few sources on the Internet to see whether or not I was a senior citizen. I found that the U.S. Census says middle age is anywhere between ages 35 - 54.

Oh, no. It's getting worse.

However, the updated version of The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (the standard diagnostic manual of The American Psychiatric Association) defines it as 45 - 65.

Phew.

Suddenly I began feeling ashamed of myself. Why? Because my reaction to the definition of midlife did not coincide with what I write, what I believe in or what I preach to others.

In the end, it really doesn't matter what the study, the census, the manual, or the gods-that- be say.

I am 55 years old, and there aren't any statistics that can change the essence of who I am. I am the same person I was before and after I listened to the program. So when I tell someone "You're as young as you feel" I sincerely mean it.

Whether I'm in my middle years or a senior citizen doesn't matter. What matters is what's in my heart, and how I feel about who I am.

That is my own personal happiness study.

The Zen of Alan Alda

It would be easy to write about Alan Alda by only recounting stories that everyone already knows, such as his tremendous successes in television, movies and theatre. I could also discuss his well-known talents as a gifted writer of books and screenplays, or his lifelong passion of science that led him to not only host PBS’s “Scientific American Frontiers” for 14 years but to challenge young minds and inspire the creation of The Center for Communicating Science at Stony Brook University.

MS Advocate Cathy Chester with Alan Alda

But Alan Alda is much more than that, and writing about only those achievements, as incredible as they are, would be a disservice to him. He has always been like a cauldron packed tight with ingredients of passion, ideas and deep thought that would burst wide open if he couldn’t keep moving forward.

As I listened to him speaking recently at The New Jersey Speaker Series it occurred to me how Zen-like Mr. Alda is. He sees his life experiences with great clarity and, after examining them like a true scientist, he challenges and questions himself, then draws his own conclusions.

Alan Alda

I can best illustrate the Zen of Alan Alda by using three stories from his words and life experiences.

Near-death experience changed his life: Story One

There was one night that forever changed his life, and he uses that near tragedy to contemplate how he became the man he is today.

“I’d like to tell you about a night that changed my life. I was up on top of a mountain in Chile, in an observatory because I was with astronomers doing a science show, and I got this tickle in my gut, and within a few minutes it was the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. They had a medic up there. I don’t think he’d done anything medical before. I’m all doubled up and he comes over and says, 'How are you?'

"They had an ambulance, a big old boxy thing. It looked like the ambulances we had on M*A*S*H. They slide me into the ambulance and I’m groaning and screaming and they take me for an hour and a half down this rocky mountain down to this little town to a hospital with a dimly lit ER.

"But there was this brilliant doctor there that night who was an expert in what was wrong with me. It turned out I had a bit of my intestine that lost its blood supply and if it burst a couple hours later I’d be dead. But he knew exactly what the problem was and he figured it out in a few minutes. He leaned into me to tell me they have to cut out part of the bad intestine and sew two good ends together.

"And I said, 'Oh, you’re going to do an end-to-end anastomosis?' He said, 'How do you know that?” and I said, 'Oh I did many of those on M*A*S*H.'

"And I lived.

"And when it was over I felt I’d been given a whole new life. The world was so fresh, the colors were so free, just the feeling of being alive. I wasn’t supposed to eat anything solid, and the first piece of cheese I had was the most delicious meal I’d had in my life. I was like a newborn baby tasting everything fresh.

"So I thought I don’t want this to end. I’ve met people who had near death experiences and they kept that feeling for a while but then it went away. I didn’t want it to go away. How can I make this last?

"Maybe if I think about how I got to be how I am, and who I am, and the lessons I’ve learned, maybe there’s something in that. So I started making notes about my earliest childhood memories.”

Alan Alda speaking on the life-changing power of tragedy

Alan Alda speaking on the life-changing power of tragedy

Life moves on after tragedy: Story Two

When Mr. Alda was seven years old he contracted polio, a horrible deadly disease and an epidemic among children at that time. He remembers his father administering painful treatments that included placing hot woolen blankets on his limbs and painful massages on his muscles.

While recovering, Robert Alda brought home a beautiful black cocker spaniel to cheer up his son. The dog was so sweet and loving that they immediately fell in love with each other. When the puppy tragically died his father, in a loving but perhaps misguided effort, had the dog stuffed for posterity so he’d “always have him.” But the dog had a “hideous expression with glass eyes that followed you wherever you walked” and after placing it next to the fireplace, “when guests entered the room they’d stop dead.”

I realized years later that this was a tremendous lesson for me. You can’t have your dog stuffed. I know that sounds trivial but it’s true. You love the dog, he goes away, and you move on. The stuffed dog is a counterfeit; a hollow imitation.”

Moving On: Story Three

Someone from the audience asked what he thought Hawkeye Pierce would be doing today. Alda answered that he never thought about it. As much as he loved the character and was proud of the part he played in creating eleven seasons of M*A*S*H, when it was over, it was over. And he moved on.

Beyond the Zen of Alan Alda is the love everyone feels for him. I have never met anyone with an unkind word about him.

Meeting a personal hero

As a devoted fan I’ve written about him before. About my schoolgirl crush that turned into deep respect for a man completely devoted to his family and friends, one who always seemed genuine and self-effacing whenever I'd hear him speak.

I was more than thrilled when my husband and I were invited to attend a post-event cocktail party to meet Alan Alda in person. I was admittedly a bit nervous. I’ve met celebrities before, but for me this was different.

I didn’t want to sound like a gushing teenager or a typical fan. I wanted him to know how important the work he is doing at Stony Book University is to the disability community and me. So I practiced my elevator speech. Several times. Okay, more than several.

When it came time for us to meet him one-on-one, my instincts were right. It was as if my husband and I were alone in the room with a dear friend. He listened intently as I thanked him not only for his funny and fascinating talk, but also for the contributions he’s making by teaching future scientists how to communicate more effectively with the public, and what that will mean to the future of medicine.

Although our conversation lasted only a few minutes it will leave an indelible impression on my heart.

Alan Alda speaking at Fairleigh Dickinson University

Alan Alda speaking at Fairleigh Dickinson University

END NOTE: I also introduced myself to Arlene Alda, who is an accomplished musician, photographer and writer. Her latest book "Just Kids from the Bronx" is an oral history about what it was like growing up in the Bronx, a place that "bred the influencers in just about every field of endeavor today." It will be coming out March 2015. I wanted to tell Mrs. Alda how excited my Bronx born mother is about reading her upcoming book. Mrs. Alda was lovely, and it was a pleasure to briefly speak with her.

The New Jersey Speaker Series is an inaugural series of talks produced by Fairleigh Dickinson University. The impressive list of speakers are Madeleine Albright, Alan Alda, Steve Wozniak, Olympia Snowe, David Gergen, David McCullough and Dan Rather, each influential voices in our world today.

Photo Credits: Courtesy of Fairleigh Dickinson University/New Jersey Speaker Series

Get Over It! Turn Your Pity Party Into A Dance Of Gratitude

"You’ve always had the power, my dear. You’ve had it all along.” ~Glinda, the Good Witch, The Wizard of Oz

Today I’m battling myself. Between bouts of anger are moments of joy, and in between each are millisecond dances of gratitude, self-pity and love. The conflict exhausts and energizes me; I am alive with emotion.

Dancing Dance Life

I’m dancing this familiar dance again, when my heart said yes and my mind said no. One step gracefully pirouettes toward an opportunity to spend time with a friend, another toward new and exciting opportunities.

But life is not a ballet, and our lives are sometimes out-of-step with our hearts and desires. And when that happens, as it does with MS, our spirits are dashed for the loss of another dance.

I was excited at the prospect of attending an important women’s conference a few hours from my home. Spending time in the company of successful and empowering women, along with spending quality time with a dear friend, was something I’ve been excited about for weeks.

But the weather was not on my side. Heavy rain was in the forecast, and unlike my younger self who never bothered to consider weather conditions, my poor nighttime and inclement weather vision forced me to cancel my plans.

How many times has MS interfered with my dances? How many times must I detest the need to draw attention to myself by explaining why I must cancel? My invisible illness always needs explaining.

If my body cuts my dance short, it's important that I make a point of being mindful of the blessings that are still very much a part of my life. I firmly believe it’s important to remind ourselves that, as Jon Kabat-Zinn said, “There’s more right with you than wrong.”

My pity party is over and I’m ready to move on. Life is too short to dwell on what’s out of our control. We need to focus on what is.

There will be other events and social gatherings to attend, and although this event was quite special I’m sure others are around the bend.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I want to live a positive life despite my MS. If I can’t walk I’ll write. If I can’t write I’ll talk. Whatever life has in store for me I’ll use the abilities I have to find a way to live the life I want.

Living a positive life despite any setbacks is a CHOICE. My MS is another person’s asthma, Lupus, heart disease or cancer. It could be the loss of a job, the fear of financial ruin or the sting of rejection. Or perhaps a marriage gone badly, a soured friendship or the loss of a pet.

The key to unlock the door of despair is to empower ourselves with the realization that life is basically good, and as Scarlett O’Hara said, “Tomorrow is another day.”

Take time to look around you. It’s what I always do. Take a walk, and then look up at the sky, smell the air and notice the colors and light in nature.

Think about the people you love, and who love you.

My dear friend, the one I was supposed to visit, completely understood why I needed to cancel. A few times in the past this has not been the case. I add her to my list of blessings.

I’ve often thought that the vastness of the world makes it clear that our anguish is an infinitesimally tiny matter. That one thought convinces me that my life will always go on, and our tiny corner of the world is amazing. It simply is.

Somehow, with a sigh of relief, that makes everything feel alright.

What are you thankful for?

New Jersey Speaker Series: How Madeleine Albright Made Me Laugh

Over the next few months I will be attending and writing about The New Jersey Speaker Series, an inaugural series of talks produced by Fairleigh Dickinson University. The impressive list of speakers are Madeleine Albright, Alan Alda, Steve Wozniak, Olympia Snowe, David Gergen, David McCullough and Dan Rather, each influential voices in today's world.

New Jersey Speaker Series Madeleine Albright

Photo Credit: Playbill, New Jersey Speaker Series (Fairleigh Dickinson University)

Here's Part One: An evening with Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright. 

From time to time we have pre-conceived notions about people. As much as we try not to, we do. Last week while I was on my way to hear Madeleine Albright speak, I feared that her presentation might be dull and boring. After all, talking about sanctions against Iraq or the American policy in Bosnia is certainly interesting and educational, but it can also be very dry.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Madeleine Albright

Photo Credit: New Jersey Speaker Series, Fairleigh Dickinson University; Portrait by Timothy Greenfiield-Sanders

Like any good comedian speaker, she warmed up the audience with a great story:

To the announcer, “Thank you for telling everybody who I am. Not everybody always knows. (Laughter) Not long ago I was coming back from China, and Chicago was the first port of entry, and as I was getting undressed for the security people (laughter) one of the guards noticed me and said, ‘Oh, my gosh it’s you.’ (Laughter)

Then he went on to say, ‘I’m from Bosnia, and if it weren’t for you in Bosnia there wouldn’t be a Bosnia and you are always welcome back to Bosnia.' Then we had our picture taken and it screwed up the whole line. (Laughter)

Then I go back to get my stuff and the lady who was in back of me said, ‘So what exactly happened here?’ and I told her I used to be Secretary of State and she said, ‘Of Bosnia?'”

(Big laughter)

Madeleine Albright's biography tells an incredible tale: The first female Secretary of State. Fled with her family from Prague during the Nazi invasion and again years later from the Communists. Received various degrees from Wellesley College, Johns Hopkins and Columbia University. Worked on Edmund Muskie’s campaign that led to an appointment as The National Security Council’s liaison during the Carter White House. Worked as a Democratic Party foreign policy advisor and briefed Vice Presidential and Presidential candidates Geraldine Ferraro and Michael Dukakis. Appointed as Ambassador to the United Nations. Awarded The Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Obama.

It’s clear from this condensed biography that an entire post (or more) could easily be devoted to writing about Dr. Albright’s stellar career, her policies and positions on national and global affairs, or about the fascinating life she’s lead. But I’ll leave that to her by directing you to two of the many books she’s written: “Madam Secretary: A Memoir” and “Prague Winter: A Personal Story of Remembrance and War (1937 – 1948).”

Instead I’ll focus on Madeleine Albright the woman, because as I thought about her presentation and candid answers to the audiences’ questions, I realized what a powerful advocate she is for woman’s rights. She's an outstanding example for women on the importance of speaking their minds and believing in themselves.

Story One: Albright told the story of the first time she entered The White House as Secretary of State. While walking into that glorious house it occurred to her that the portraits hanging on the walls collectively had one major difference between them: whether the subjects wore a beard or not. She hoped that one day that would change to the difference being whether the subjects wore heels or not.

Story Two: Soon after she was married Albright had twin daughters and, as she said, “I tried to figure out how to be a good mother, because as every mother here knows, every woman’s middle name is Guilt. When you’re home you wish you were working, and if you’re working you wish you were home. In my case I was lucky to have jobs with a great deal of responsibility when my children were older. They were taking care of me.

Once, as my daughter was taking care of my bills she called me and said, 'Mom, did you really need those pair of shoes?'

I’m often asked about the balance issue, and I don’t think there is any (one) answer. Everyone has to develop their own answer, realize that it’s very difficult, and people are judgmental on what we’ve chosen. The hardest were the judgments that other women made on me. We have to be nicer to each other and be more respectful of our choices.

For me, everything about women and in life is about CHOICE.”

Story Three: Dr. Albright owns a large collection of costume jewelry including many pins. Her pins are an extension of how she's feeling on a given day. On a good day she'll wear a butterfly; on a bad one a bug.

On a trip with President Clinton to visit Russian President Vladimir Putin, a leader she openly dislikes, Albright decided to wear her monkey pin. President Putin noticed it, and knowing that her pins represented an unspoken Albright thought, he asked President Clinton why she was wearing a monkey. Never one to hold back, Albright quickly blurted out, “Because I think your policy in Chechnya is evil.” Putin was furious, President Clinton looked at her “like I was out of my mind and I was in trouble.”

Story Four: When her time at The White House was over, she thought it would be a difficult transition for her to leave. (Sound like Empty Nest Syndrome?) But she quickly learned that leaving was a chance for a fresh start to try something new. She began to teach, write, “and listen, and I refuse to ever be silent because we all need to speak out and have the moral courage to face the issues of the day.”

By the end of the evening the audience and I got to know "the real" Madeleine Albright. She is funny, outspoken, intelligent, savvy, sometimes controversial, always honest, and ever mindful of the lessons her parents taught her.

"Never take liberty, freedom or the greatness of America for granted." I am sure they’d be proud of the accomplishments of their exceptional daughter.

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