Four Ways To Mentally Prepare To Make Your Dreams Come True

 

Dreams Wish

My husband and I grew up in suburban New Jersey.  We left for a few years to attend school, then came back, met, married and built our home. We raised our son in New Jersey and continue to live here today.

We dream of moving elsewhere, to a place that's warm year-round. Somewhere where we can live a simple and joyful life, in a place where I'll feel healthier from the change in weather. That change could mean a difference in my physical strength, enabling me to live a richer, fuller life.

We long to live in an area where winter means sunshine and a temperate climate. We talk about warmth whenever there's a snowfall, or if the temperature dips below freezing.

"What are we doing here?" I'd often say to my husband. "Your whole family lives in warm weather, soaking up sunshine all year long. We must be crazy!"

We are not fancy people, so our needs are quite simple. Like any parent, we want our son to be healthy, happy and fulfilled, and we'd like the same for ourselves. Wherever we live that is all that we ask.

Alice laughed. "There was no use trying,” she said. “One can’t believe impossible things."

“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,”said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” ~Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass

Spending our leisure time enjoying the outdoors year round, without the need for sweaters, boots or heavy coats, seems surreal to us right now.

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” ~J.K. Rowling 

J.K. Rowling is right. We don't want to forget to live, and are mindful that where we are right now is where we are meant to be. But still we continue to dream.

We talk with friends and family who live in communities we're interested in, and have met with realtors to visit some listings. We scan the Internet for information about best places to live and best places to find jobs for 50-somethings.

We talk, plan, dream, hope and wonder.

The dream seems unattainable. There are too many things holding us back. Yet life moves on.

Our story is not unique. Many people feel disillusioned with their lives; they feel wholly unfulfilled. As Baby Boomers there are circumstances that may tie us down. We begin to believe that our dreams will never come true.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

The poet Robert Browning once said,

“Each life unfulfilled, you see;
It hangs still, patchy and scrappy:
We have not sighed deep, laughed free,
Starved, feasted, despaired, --been happy..”

Yes, an unfulfilled life is at a standstill, hanging in the balance.So we must continue to visualize our dreams for our own sake - whether it's a career change, moving to another location or planning a trip around the world.

Now that I'm in my fifties I have a strong need to try to take my first baby steps toward realizing my dreams. It may take awhile, even years, but it's time to begin the work.

I've outlined four tools to help us mentally prepare to make our dreams come true.

  1. CREATE A VISION BOARD – While in my twenties and thirties, most vision boards were related to issues concerning career paths or confidence and self-esteem boosters.  My vision board will be focused on where I want to live. If you’d like to try your hand at making your own vision board, take a look at Christine Kane’s "Mentor to Women Who Are Changing The World" – it’s a good introduction to what a vision board is and shows you how to make one.
  2. SPIRITUALITY – It's important to find something to believe in that provides us with inner strength during good and bad times. I’m guided by the basic Jewish tenets of honoring The Ten Commandments, doing mitzvahs (good deeds) and believing in one G-d. But I find I need more. I have a keen interest in spirituality. I’ve witnessed people relying on their faith when weathering personal trauma. So I’ve started my own spiritual journey. I've read books about Buddhism and the teachings of the Dalai Lama (The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living by Dalai Lama.) My daily meditation and weekly yoga classes have taught me about mindfulness (Jon Kabat-Zinn: Mindfulness for Beginners and Reclaiming the Present Moment - and Your Life.)
  3.  COGNITIVE-BEHAVIORAL THERAPYIt helps to send positive thoughts out into the Universe.There is something to the power of positive thinking, so learning how to replace negative thoughts with positive ones is important. According to CBT, first acknowledge a negative thought, visualize wrapping it in a ball and tossing it away. Then replace your negative thought with a positive one.   
  4. 4. COMMUNICATION – It 's important to discuss your thoughts and feelings with others. It's freeing, and perhaps you'll learn a different perspective on a situation from someone who cares. Be open and honest with yourself as you learn the realities necessary to take that first giant step toward your goals.

We’ve rounded the corner past 50. It’s time to visualize how we want our life to look for the next fifty years. Where do you want to live? Do you have a passion you’d like to try? Would you enjoy learning a new skill? Do you have a Bucket List?  Whatever you’d like to do, visualize it, research it, plan it, talk about it and then (as Nike says) – JUST DO IT!

 

Wordless Wednesday: Looking For A Way To Relieve Your Stress Naturally? Observe The Beauty In Nature

Relieving stress by nature

Breathe, meditate and be mindful of what surrounds you. Nature has always been the answer for me.  A great stress reliever.

Linking up with other Wordless Wednesday bloggers: Wordless Wednesday Wordless Wednesday @ The Jenny Evolution

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The Women's Health Symposium (Part Two): Living Mindfully Can Change Your Life

This is part two in a three-part series of what I learned at The Women's Health Symposium in Philadelphia.

“Mindfulness is an ancient Buddhist practice which has profound relevance for our present-day lives.  This relevance has nothing to do with Buddhism per se…but has everything to do with waking up and living in harmony with oneself and with the world.  It has to do with examining who we are, with questioning our view of the world and our place in it, and with cultivating some appreciation for the fullness of each moment we are alive.  Most of all, it has to do with being in touch.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life

AleneBrennanMindfulness

Alene Brennan, health coach and yoga instructor

Bill Moyers first introduced me to Jon Kabat-Zinn (founding director of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine at the University of Massachusetts Medical School) on his PBS special “Healing and the Mind.” I was intrigued by the concept of reducing stress, pain and illness with Zinn’s “Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction” that combined yoga and meditation.

The ability to train my brain to reduce pain, stress and illness seemed like it was well worth the effort.

So when I arrived at The Women’s Health Symposium in Philadelphia, and learned that one of the breakout sessions would be about mindfulness, I was thrilled.

The speaker was Alene Brennan, a certified health coach and yoga instructor who studied with, among others, Drs. Andrew Weil, Deepak Chopra and Bernie Siegel.

Here was our first exercise.  Why don’t you try it?

Get comfortable in your chair.  Close your eyes and think about this simple question.

What is on your mind right now?

What were you thinking about?  Was it the 10 things you should be doing right now?  Did you think about what’s going on at home, or what you need to pick up at the grocery store?

This simple exercise demonstrates how we are able to disengage for a moment to pay attention to what we are thinking.

We need to ask ourselves what we’re sacrificing while we’re thinking about 10 thoughts at once.

brain

Do you sometimes feel disengaged because you’re not living fully in the moment, and because of that you are unable to enjoy that moment?

Do you feel that is life passing you by?

Alene’s quote (and I loved this) was:

“Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future, and today is a gift.  That is why today is called the present.”

We all need to be mindful in everything we do.  We need to acknowledge the busy lives we lead, realize that multitasking is the land of make-believe, and that it’s impossible to juggle 10 things at once.

Something will always suffer.

Are you paying full attention to your children while you’re talking on your cell phones? Are you listening to your spouse while you’re returning a text at the same time?  Are you hearing the news commentator on TV while you check your emails?

We have the ability to teach ourselves to deliberately and non-judgmentally pay attention to what is happening right now – at this moment – at what’s in front of us.  We can make that change by training our minds to live in the moment.

Begin practicing mindfulness by noticing when you are lost in your thoughts.  Take a moment, and then redirect your thoughts by bringing yourself back into the moment.

You can allow your senses to help you become more mindful.  Focus on what is around you.  Look at the beautiful sky (sight) and smell the freshly cut flowers (smell). Listen to the music playing (sound) and lovingly stroke your pet (touch). Play around with your senses to find the one that helps bring you back to this moment.

Here is your next exercise to try. 

Sit up tall on the edge of your chair, and pay close attention to your breath.  Put one hand on your chest and the other on your belly.  Focus on your breathing, in and out, and notice how you feel.

Try to take time to notice your breathing on a daily basis.  This is the beginning of creating mindfulness.

Mindful breathing, mindful walking, mindful eating and even mindful driving can all help to alleviate anger and anxiety.  They create a sense of calm and joy, allowing you to enjoy each and every moment of your life.

Are you mindful of your thoughts and activities?

To learn more about Mindfulness go to amazon.com and check out Jon Kabat-Zinn's many bestsellers, including "Wherever You Go There You Are" and "Full Catastrophe Living: Using The Wisdom Of Your Body And Mind To Face Stress, Pain and Illness."

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