Renewal: It's Time For Me To Take A Short Break

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After the long, snowy winter we endured here in the Northeast, the feel of warm sun on my face and the sight of flowers beginning to show off their vibrant colors is a welcome relief. It's the perfect time for me to take a breather; a short break from writing.

“Let us dance in the sun, wearing wild flowers in our hair...” ~Susan Polis Schultz

I need some time to power down and appreciate what's all around me. When my son told me I'm on my computer more than anyone he knows I knew I needed to take a break. After all, I don't want to live a parallel life to Joaquin Phoenix in the movie "Her." Falling in love with my operating system is not an option.

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” ~Tom Bodett

The year 2015 has been filled with many challenges for us and I need a chance to breathe. Like the budding flowers in our garden I, too, want a chance to feel renewed.

“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.” ~Rumi

When I return I'll continue writing to enlighten, educate and empower you. Writing is what I love to do, and using my words to make a difference in someone's life is one of my greatest joys.

“One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.” ~Helen Keller, The Story of My Life

I'd like to share this last quote with you because I fell in love with it. It has a powerful message for all of us. Remember to always take care of yourself first and everything else will fall into place.

Learn to love yourself for who you are and the value you add to the world.

“Dare to love yourself
as if you were a rainbow
with gold at both ends.” ~ Aberjhani, Journey Through the Power of the Rainbow: Quotation from a Life Made Out of Poetry

Namaste.

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The Life Of A Sensitive Soul

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The road is long, the destination not yet realized. Joy is interspersed with sadness. Smiles alternate with tears.

This is the life of a sensitive soul. 

We all share the common quest of wanting to fit in, to be valued and feel like we matter. Without it we feel set adrift in a place of isolation.

Odd man out. Overlooked. On the outside. Excluded. Neglected. Forgotten.

Everyone has two choices. Either we can wallow in self-pity, crying that life isn't fair. This is certainly a path that can lead to self-destruction.

Or we can choose to face our reality, knowing that we can never be all things to all people. Recognize our truth, accept it and be grateful.

And then move on.

The blessings we can allow ourselves to experience lies in our ability to love one another despite our differences. This can be very freeing. And once we've done the work and learned how to master that skill, life will be so much sweeter.

I'll meet you on that side.

♥♥♥♥

NOTE: I made it! This is the last day of National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) for the month of November. It was an important exercise that taught me I can set aside time every day to write. Hooray!

It was my great fortune to be in the company of a group of talented women writers who took this journey with me. We read and commented on each other's posts every day. Through their stories I learned more about the art of good writing and the many gifts of friendship. I thank every one of them.

I've Been Hacked! I'm Finally Back!

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Definition of the word "hack":
  1. To cut or chop with repeated and irregular blows.
  2. To alter a computer program. 
  3. To gain access to a computer file or network illegally or without authorization.
  4. To cut or mutilate as if by hacking.

 

My definition of the word "hack":
All of the above.

I was hacked.  I'd like to say I was not personally hacked, but I can't say that. Because when you give birth to a blog, it's like giving birth to a child. You create it, nurture it and protect it. And when something goes wrong, you feel as if your left arm was abruptly cut off.

Protecting your blog can be as difficult as protecting your child from the cruel realities of the outside world.  Just as I followed the advice of Dr. Spock and T. Berry Brazelton after the birth of my son, I also followed advice I learned about tending to my blog.

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Saving my files daily to a backup system and using a highly recommended antivirus software did not stop the hackers.

According to James Lyne of Forbes in his article "30,000 Web Sites Hacked A Day" he explains, "..a widely held web threat misconception is that cyber criminals only go after large enterprises or government organisations." He goes on to say that cyber criminals have automated tools they use to search the web, looking for vulnerable places to insert their malicious code.

It could be a personal blog.

Well, thank you hackers (I won't capitalize the word to give you credibility.) You really gummed up the works for me. You succeeded in:

1.  Interrupting my ability to disseminate important information for the disability and midlife communities.
2. Creating great stress for this writer when the current world situation was enough stress to handle.
3.  Inventing a need for me to ask for more forgiveness from the Big Man/Woman Upstairs during my Rosh Hashanah prayers for my vicious thoughts about you.
4.  Deducting money from my bank account to pay my webmaster and various other necessary charges for the damage you caused.

After seeing the movie "Silver Linings Playbook" three times (yes, 3!) I now try to find a silver lining in everything.  This time it's more difficult for me to find one.  Not only am I angry that my and my husband's blog was hacked, but my father's computer was also hacked.

That third malicious piece of ransomware that struck my family pushed me over the edge of reason and into the world of rage.

What could possibly be the silver lining in all of this?  This is going to be a tough one.

1.  Arm yourself with a great webmaster.  Fortunately this was the one thing in my favor.  My webmaster is also a friend, and has rescued me on more than one occasion.  She helps me when I need her, and I owe her more than a debt of gratitude.  At 54 years old, and someone who gave up working to rear my son, the learning curve for the world of technology is steep. My young, bright friend always has time to teach me, and never chuckles at my endless, inane questions. Thanks to Julie DeNeen, Webmaster Extraordinaire.  (Check out her blogs Fabulous Blogging and JulieDeneen.com.)
2.  Be aware of the customer service your host provides. In times of need, this is important.  I found out the hard way how important this is. Adios, Company No-Help-At-All-And-Wait-For-My-Yelp-Review.
3.  Reach out to others for support.  I can't tell you how heartened I was by my unbelievably supportive and generous blogging communities. At last count, Generation Fabulous listed 71 comments of support, with many offers to guest post on their blogs and websites.  Several friends also private messaged me their encouragement and understanding.  The bloggers at Bloppy Bloggers were also supportive and generous, and I'd like to give a special shout out to Eddie Gear (thanks for helping me over Labor Day weekend) and Julie DeNeen. I love you all.  You are incredible people.

My final thought about this is to, like the Boy Scouts, be prepared.  Be as prepared as you can, but also be prepared about what to do if this happens to you.  The hackers are sly, nasty and malicious, and their tools are changing every day.  There are laws to protect us, but catching these malcontents is another story. (See this article on "HowStuffWorks: How Hackers Work")

My hope is that you never experience any hacking, and that you continue once again to read An Empowered Spirit (you can't blame me for this shameless plug, can you?)

What security do you have for your blog/computer, and how has it worked for you?

Welcome back!

 

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Attending BlogHer With A Disability

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Author's note: I’ve read many blog posts, posts on Facebook and tweets about BlogHer.  But no one wrote about attending BlogHer with a disability.  As a newbie to this event, I’m sure there will be many attendees with disabilities.  This post is for you as much as it is for me.  For those of you who are blessed not to have a disability, I know you are compassionate and caring enough to want to read this post as well.

When I first heard people discussing something called BlogHer, I wondered what the heck it was.  As I began reading more and more posts about it – the good, the bad and the ugly – I realized the enormity of this prodigious blogging event.

Yet something instinctual, something deep in the pit of my stomach, held me back from registering.

I told friends I wasn’t going because we already had two planned vacations for the summer, and didn’t want to spend extra time away from writing to attend this event.

But I wasn’t being honest, with my friends or myself.

It wasn’t the time away from home that held me back.  It was something bigger than that.

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Hi, my name is Cathy Chester and I have a disability.   

Having Multiple Sclerosis since the age of 26 prevented me from doing certain things with my life.  But when life took a turn, I changed course and made different plans.

Who among us lives our life the way we envisioned when we were younger?  My MS is someone else’s fibromyalgia or breast cancer or OCD.

Back to BlogHer.  My worst enemies are stress, heat and fatigue.  My best friends are naps, air-conditioning and calm.  If I don’t meet up with my best friends, the little gremlins come out to make my legs and arms weak and numb, rendering me useless and frustrated.

BlogHer takes place at two hotels, the Sheraton and McCormick.  Since they are a few miles apart, you’ll need a shuttle or taxi to travel to each hotel.  This alone caused me some stress, since I understood the day sessions were taking place at the Sheraton. That would’ve made it easier to slip away to catch a nap upstairs in my room.

Napping now must be a planned event.  More running around means more fatigue.

The enormity of BlogHer is overwhelming for everyone.  Add a disability into that equation, and your emotions easily turn into panic mode.

There are agendas, speakers, parties and networking to learn and make decisions about.  Pre-planning your schedule may tame some of your anxiety and stress.

The question on what to wear always looms large for me.  Business casual can either mean black jeans or a cute dress.  The idea of wearing heels to walk from session to session makes me cringe.

Unfortunately, I had to kick my high heel habit after looking drunk too many times from falling on my keister.  When you can’t feel your feet, you can’t handle heels.

I miss wearing high heels.  You look leaner, and they compliment any outfit.

Here are my own reasons for disliking having to live with a disability:

  1. Standing out from the crowd.
  2. Complaining about not feeling well.
  3.  Excusing myself early from something fun.
  4. Not being able to join in on something I know I’d enjoy.
  5. Wearing flats and sneakers all of the time.
  6. Having to sit when I’m tired while everyone else is standing.
  7. Knowing anyone is worrying about me.

I made peace with having a disability a long time ago.  As a writer and health advocate, my professional life is devoted to writing for the disabled community.

But being in Chicago for 3 days with 5,000 other bloggers while trying to learn, network and meet up with friends is something I look forward to, but is creating anxiety for me at the same time.

What’s a girl to do?

Here are a few things I can do for myself (and you can, too) to “de-stress” and prepare for BlogHer:

  1. Use the BlogHer app. I read the agenda and the list of sponsors and speakers from the BlogHer website.  Then I created a general (yet flexible) schedule for myself under “My Schedule”.  Having a central location to check my schedule, detailing when the sessions, breaks and parties are, makes me feel more in control and less anxious.  I’ve shared my schedule with friends, and found other people who will be attending.
  2. Where are the bathrooms?  This is important for people who tire easily or use scooters, walkers or canes.  On the BlogHer app, check out their “Maps” section, or call the Sheraton or McCormick Place for further information. Find out ahead of time where the bathrooms, elevators, escalators or ramps are located.
  3. Prioritize. After looking at all of the sessions, speakers and parties, I’ve prioritized what’s most important to what’s least important.   Attend sessions that are more important for your niche, and skip the ones that are not as relevant.
  4. Rest when you can.  This is a biggie.  Listen to your body; you know the signals. If it’s telling you to slow down and take a break, do it!

Use the Serenity Suite to relax and collect yourself whenever you feel the need to unwind.  (Room 1237 at Sheraton and Room W471A at McCormick)

Lori Luna, VP of Event Operations, kindly provided me with further information on attending sessions at The McCormick:

“There are multiple elevators and escalators so walking up and down is VERY limited.  Nine of the session tracks are all together, and the remaining five are one elevator ride away, and again, lined in a row.  Additionally we'll have a Serenity Suite where you can go and rest while at McCormick Place.  

It can sound daunting and when you see it you might feel the same, but once you navigate it, you will note we are stacked on top of all of our activations so you aren't walking football fields.”

  1. Ask for help: This one took me a long time to do.  But, as my friend Ellen Dolgen, the Menopause Awareness Expert says, “Reaching out is IN!  Suffering in Silence is OUT!”  There’s no shame in asking for help.  Everyone needs help now and then, whether you have a disability or not.  So if you need something, ask, ask ASK.

Attending BlogHer should be a special time for you to completely dedicate to yourself and hone your craft.  So take time to breathe, relax and enjoy yourself.  You deserve it!  

 Note: This post was originally featured on the Generation Fabulous website on July 22, 2013.

 

 

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