An Empowered Spirit Blog Post

Life Lessons On The Occasion Of My Son's 21st Birthday: Our Journeys Are Unique To Each Of Us

By Cathy Chester on December 12, 2013

Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted to grow up and have a family of her own.  She dreamed of meeting a knight in shining armor that would sweep her off her feet and take her away to live happily ever after.

S-c-r-a-t-c-h.

Living with MS and still keeping dreams alive

Once upon a time there was a little girl who loved to read.  She loved reading about strong-minded, resolute women who were making headlines, like Gloria Steinem and Bella Abzug.  She thought it’d be cool to someday burn her training bra.  But she was too young and naïve at the time, so she continued to dream about her knight in shining armor and having a family.  Would the knight be willing to do housework?

C-r-o-s-s-o-u-t.

Once upon a time, before MS

Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted to live a long and happy life. She dreamed of someday marrying her Prince Charming and, together, they’d have a happy and healthy child.  She loved to write, and always enjoyed helping others in need.  She always knew that somehow she wanted to find a perfect balance between her family life and a life filled with passion.

Bingo.

But, alas, not all little girls’ dreams come true.  Life simply doesn’t work that way.  As John Lennon famously wrote, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”

So far, my life lessons were:

  • Barbie taught me what a perfect body looked like, didn’t she?
  • Peter Pan taught me that dreams do come true, didn’t he?
  • James Taylor taught me I’ve got a friend. Would that always be true?
  • Marlo Thomas taught me “That Girl” was the personification of what every young woman could have when working in The Big City, right?

Life (and dreams) after MS

But life has a mind of its own, and sometimes we learn harsh yet valuable lessons.  John Lennon was right.  What we envision for ourselves and what life hands us are two different things.

  • I was diagnosed with MS at age 26.  I was totally unprepared for that sudden bend in the road.
  • I had two miscarriages, and believed I’d have to prepare for a life without children.

 

When I finally became blissfully pregnant for a third time, it was the charm.  Two weeks shy of nine months, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy little boy.

Dreams do come true for those with MS: A son's blessing

Dreams do come true for those with MS: A son's blessing

My son has been a blessing to me every day of his life.

The life I envisioned for myself so long ago was finally beginning to unfold.

What my son has taught me about life

Today is my son’s 21st birthday, and he is the whole reason I’m writing this post.  I wrote it because I want him to understand that no matter what I learned in my childhood – the joys, frustrations, loves and heartaches, mine is a different road than the one he is traveling.

He has his own journey.

I want him to know he has taught me more than anyone or anything else will.

He’s taught me, through his genteel manner and by his example, about patience, understanding and inner strength.

And he’s given me more love than I ever imagined.

Life Lessons from my son

The gift of unconditional love and good port

Twenty-one years ago, my father’s gift to him was a case of fine port, with instructions that the first bottle be opened on his 21st birthday.  In the next week, I look forward to all of us being together to open the first beautiful bottle from this case (with his permission, of course!), and to toast to his happiness on his big day.

May he always be surrounded with unconditional love.  May he find his own brand of happiness, with a life filled with purpose and compassion, according to his own desires and principles, and on his own terms.

As my beloved uncle always ended his letters to me, "I hug you with my words."

Happy 21st birthday, my dear son.

Happy Birthday to my son, from mom with MS

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Author

Cathy Chester

Comments

  1. *wiping away tears* Cathy, you have outdone yourself with this beautiful and touching post. Your life may not have turned out to be what you imagined, but you are an example of how to live life with an empowered spirit, no matter what cards are dealt.

  2. What a lovely tribute to your son! I think my son (about 6 months younger than your son) had the same dalmation jammies. 🙂 Those footy pj's are just so sweet, aren't they?

    The message you are trying to convey to your son is so important - "try to learn from my life lessons, but your journey is your own, and you will have to learn things a different way. Oh, and I love you so incredibly deeply."

    Beautiful.

  3. Teary-eyed as I read this, for so many reasons. For your words, your struggles, your strength and especially your fierce love for your son. I relate to it all. Beautiful. I love that your dad gave him a case of port to save for this special day. Cheers!

  4. You definitely have been given more than your share of life's cruel lessons. I hope that next week your family will be able to have a wonderful celebration and will do so for years and years to come!

  5. Oh, such a beautiful post. I have an 18 year old who will be going off to college next year and this rings so true for me, as well.

    Also, on another note, my mom had MS as well and so I've been so happy to have found your blog recently. I'll be back for more.

  6. Cathy, Your love for your son and your good heart come across loud and clear in this post. I would like to add my good wishes on his 21st birthday - and may there be many, many more happy birthdays.

  7. Cathy, I know sometimes an outlook like yours evolves of some suffering. But either way, your words and stories soothe the soul. How lucky you are to be so peaceful inside, and how lucky your son is to have you in his life.

  8. Cathy you have such a wonderful family. What a gift from your father, that is going to be an amazing toast and I know you and your husband raised a remarkable young man who thinks for himself and makes up his own mind:)
    Happy birthday to your baby because that is what he will always be.

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The mission of this blog is to encourage those with MS, to educate the world on what MS is and isn’t, and to help those with MS live a joyful and empowered life.
This blog and the information contained here is not meant to be, and is not a substitute for, medical advice. If you are wondering if you have MS, or have questions related to the signs and symptoms of MS, please contact your physician.
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