An Empowered Spirit Blog Post

A Long And Happy Marriage And The Lessons We Learn

By Cathy Chester on November 18, 2013

I originally wrote this post about my 25th wedding anniversary in 2013, but its sentiments still hold true today. Of course I had to start off with a quote from "Fiddler on the Roof"..

Tevye: Do you love me?

Golde: Do I love him?  For twenty-five years I’ve lived with him. Fought with him, starved with him.  Twenty-five years my bed is his.  If that’s not love, what is?

Tevye: Then you love me?

Golde: I suppose I do.

Tevye: And I suppose I love you, too.

Both: It doesn’t change a thing, but even so.  After twenty-five years.  It’s nice to know.~ From the Broadway musical, Fiddler on the Roof

Happy

Love Doves

On my parents twenty-fifth wedding anniversary I couldn’t wait to get home from school.  I was a senior in high school and my two older brothers lived away from home. I looked forward to an evening of celebration with my parents at Windows on the World in the World Trade Center.  I’d been there before, and remembered how exquisite the food (and wine) was, not to mention the spectacular view overlooking the skyline of Manhattan.

I was excited.

Our house was situated on a cul-de-sac that abutted several acres of woods on two sides.  My father, a master gardener, planted groups of shrubs by our curb that, fifteen years later, grew to a height that hid our house from the rest of the neighborhood.

We lived in total privacy.

When I opened our front door, I immediately knew something was awry.  The back door was wide open to our empty house. I walked up the steps leading to the kitchen and quickly glanced to my right. I saw a paper bag sitting in the middle of our dining room table.

My body quivered.  When my brain finally caught up, I called the police.

We had been burglarized.

The burglars stole my mothers beautifully wrapped anniversary gift to my father, many valuables throughout the house, and then ran out the back door after they heard me.

My mother’s priceless silver was in the paper bag.

Despite the burglary my parents and I went to Windows on the World for dinner, but I still felt shaky and a little traumatized.

Despite the events of the day I learned an important lesson.

As we ate, I watched the obvious love between my parents as they toasted each other. They put aside what happened earlier that day. It wasn't material things that mattered to them. What mattered was right in front of us: two people completely devoted to each other.

This was a time to celebrate.

I always knew the depth of my parent’s love, but as I watched them that night it was palpable. They were and are blessed with each other, and as I watched them I felt blessed as well.

Lesson One:  Love really does conquer all.

Happy

This week, my husband and I celebrate our twenty-fifth anniversary.  We've survived many ups and downs, but through it all we’ve always had each other and our love to lean on.

Happy

Receiving our Ketubah (marriage contract).

It’s nice to be married to your best friend.

As we celebrate this happy occasion, we’ll toast each other, and the life we’ve created together that is a blessing every day.

We know it’s the little things that matter most in a happy marriage: love, trust, honesty and respect. We've learned this from our parents, and from Tevye and Golde, and use them as a guide to nurture our long and happy marriage.

Lesson Two: A loving marriage is a blessing.  

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Author

Cathy Chester

Comments

  1. Congratulations to you and to your parents! My 25th is next year, and I can't wait to wake up and sing those lines to my husband. May you and your parents celebrate many more wonderful years together.

  2. You and Gary are soul mates, just like your parents. Wishing you a wonderful anniversary and many more years of happiness together.

  3. What a wonderful tribute to two strong and happy marriages. When I used to hear that song, I used to think 25 was so long...yet it has gone by so quickly ( we just celebrated our 32nd!). May you enjoy many more safe- and happy- celebrations together. You are blessed to have parents who are such great role models.

  4. Happy Anniversary! I love the pictures. Your blog evoked so many memories, Fiddler on the Roof, the Windows on the World and what is really important in life, thanks.

  5. Lovely post, Cathy. Thanks for pointing me in this direction. We celebrated our 40th this year--and now 25 seems like another lifetime ago! Loved the photos and the memories.

  6. Happy anniversary! What a lovely post. It's such an important thing to recognize what you truly value while you still have it. My husband and I have been together more than half our lives at this point, and I never take what we have for granted.

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