Why Setting Intentions Should Be Important To You

Every week before we begin our first set of stretches my yoga instructor asks the class to set our intentions. Set our intentions? What the hell did that mean? When I began taking yoga I had no idea what it meant. I'd look at my classmates as if they'd provide the answers I was looking for, but nothing. Set my intentions. Hmm.

I would bow my head toward my heart while sitting in the lotus position, my hands resting on my thighs, palms facing up with each thumb and index finger gently touching each another. Then I scrambled to think about my intentions. Set my intentions. Set my intentions. What should they be? I finally thought I'd ask for better balance and the ability to stretch my muscles without writhing around in pain like an idiot. Was that what she meant?

Not completely.

“You are what your deepest desire is. As your desire is, so is your intention. As your intention is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny.” ~Deepak Chopra

I must have been living under a rock to misunderstand what setting my intentions meant. Our lives are built on intentions. Think about it. We all want to achieve certain goals in our lives that are either short or long term. Our intentions guide us toward achieving those goals.

Money. Relationships. Health. Happiness. Philanthropy. Spirituality. Dreams. Love.

These goals are reminders of what we need to do. Whether we write them down, say them to ourselves or share them with others setting our intentions can change our life.

“Our intention creates our reality.” ~Wayne Dyer

Ever since that first yoga class I’ve read and thought a lot about setting intentions. The concept fascinates me. At the same time I started yoga the book The Secret exploded onto the American scene, thanks to getting the gold seal of approval by Oprah Winfrey.

Based on the law of attraction, The Secret claims that positive thinking can produce life-changing results to create happiness, wealth and riches. People were relying on that to solve all of their problems. I was skeptical about it from the start. I felt it gave false hope to people who needed to rely on more conventional help. Putting their eggs all in one basket could be a dangerous and unhealthy move.

“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” ~Buddha

The difference betweenThe Secret and setting our intentions is that the latter doesn’t claim to completely change our life or make promises it can’t keep. It simply sets impulses into our consciousness, and then releases them to grow and flourish to help shape our desires.

Do you want to buy a birthday card for a loved one? Dip your toes in the sand? Make a date with a friend? Plan a vacation on an island? It all begins with intention.

“The inspiration you seek is already within you. Be silent and listen.” ~Rumi

If you were a mind reader you might say I’ve become an intention-setting addict. I believe in it. Plus I like things neat and orderly. If I have clarity about what I want and can place those thoughts into the universe I feel freer to think about other things. I set my intentions weekly and hope that somehow, in same small or large way, the universe will take care of the rest.

“Every journey begins with the first step of articulating the intention, and then becoming the intention.” ~Bryant McGill, Voice of Reason

Does that sound ridiculous to you? It does to some people. But many others believe that setting their intentions is a powerful way of harnessing what they desire.

"Live less out of habit and more out of intent." ~Author Unknown

Setting my intentions during yoga class is something I look forward to. I use those few moments wisely, never squandering them on idle thoughts. I try to remain focused, chase the inner chatter out of my head and concentrate on what matters most. I put out to the universe that I want better balance, stretched muscles, and a day of loving kindness and peace. And perhaps a little time to share a cup of coffee with a friend or dip my toes in the sand.

That would be wonderful. Namaste.

The Difficult Lessons Of Silence

Wayne Dyer's karma quote is my daily mantra. It means that everyone has their own thoughts and beliefs whether we agree with them or not. Instead of driving yourself crazy with worry or heartache, or trying your best to change someone's mind, it's better to work on changing your own perspective.

I recently had a conversation with a dear friend who is like a sister to me, and when we discussed relationships she said something very meaningful:

"Sisters accept each other for who they are, with all the cracks and dings and imperfections that we sometimes fear will alienate us from those we care about. Our history joins us and and unites us in love and remembrance."

I loved that.

We can't be all things to all people. We are not everyone's cup of tea. And that's okay. It's taken me a long time to realize that. I used to go out of my way to try and please everyone. I wanted them to like me. I wanted acceptance and I guess, to some extent, even approval.

"You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."~Marcus Aurelius - 121-180 AD, Roman Emperor and Philosopher

We try to be loyal, passionate and thoughtful people, Sometimes that's not enough. Someone may not take the time to get to know us. They don't walk in our shoes. They don't ask how we are. Or sometimes their life is busy or they're facing a life challenge and they need to focus on themselves.

One of the benefits of aging, with its many life lessons, is we learn that the most important person in our life is ourself.

Despite how others treat you it's important to remain true to yourself. How other people feel about us, as Wayne Dyer says, is their karma.

How we react to how they treat us is our karma.

I once knew a woman who was grossly mistreated by a few people in our town. As she resigned from her public office post at a town meeting several of the townspeople were unkind. Instead of retaliating she stood up and read this quote.

It hurts to have anyone be silent toward us. Eventually the hurt dissipates as we remind ourselves that their silence has nothing to do with us and has everything to do with their own story.

This can be a painful lesson to learn, but for the sake of our emotional health it's important that we eventually move on.

My dad always taught me, as Spike Lee's dad must have taught him, to always "Do the right thing." It's what I try to live by, and it's an important lesson for all of us to remember as we face the challenges of life.

We Mourn The Loss And Celebrate The Legacies

Heaven became richer this weekend with the passing of three incredibly gifted men who were each deeply committed to their craft. They illuminated our lives in varied ways with their brilliance and talents, and brightened our world with their legacies. We were blessed to have had them among us.

They will be missed.

I can’t imagine our world without ever having the great, compassionate Oliver Sacks, the neurologist who loved and understood people and wrote his own unique tune of bridging science with storytelling. He lived his life so large that retelling it for the sake of an obituary seems almost impossible. Sacks was such an extraordinarily gifted man, studying the intricacies of the brain from every angle and applying his wealth of knowledge to help those suffering with brain-related illnesses through his practice and his books.

"People will make a life in their own terms, whether they are deaf or colourblind or autistic or whatever. And their world will be quite as rich and interesting and full as our world." ~Oliver Sacks

I see his writings as examples of possibility – pairing humanity with medicine by having an open and radiant heart. His love of music - particularly Beethoven and Mendelssohn - was legendary. It helped carry him to a kind of spirituality that helped him help others through the human suffering he understood too well. He knew a synergy existed between the mind and body and leaned on that for wellness for himself and others.

“Music can lift us out of depression or move us to tears – it is a remedy, a tonic, orange juice for the ear. But for many of my neurological patients, music is even more – it can provide access, even when no medication can, to movement, to speech, to life. For them, music is not a luxury, but a necessity.” ~Oliver Sacks

To learn more about Oliver Sacks check out his 1974 memoir A Leg to Stand On or his insights on transforming our cognition through music in his book Musicophilia.

I first fell in love with author and motivational speaker Wayne Dyer after reading his 1976 bestselling book The Erroneous Zones that taught me how to stop negative self-talk. At the time I didn’t know it but his words would later play an important role in my life after being diagnosed with MS. Other books would follow that were equally helpful including Pulling Your Own Strings, Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life, The Power of Intention and Excuses Begone!

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
""Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice."
"Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life."~Wayne Dyer

The other day I took my usual walk and listened (for the millionth time) to Dyer reading his book Living the Wisdom of the Tao. He explains the teachings of the great Chinese prophet Lao-tzu and how changing the way you think will change your life. I love listening to Dyer's voice; this book always resonates deeply. Every time I hear it I am inspired and re-energized. It is a great gift he left for all of us.

I admittedly was not a fan of Wes Craven movies. But you can’t argue the popularity of his films in such series as Nightmare on Elm Street and Scream. Going from the academic world into porn and then onto horror films, Craven carved a niche for himself that many theatergoers will truly miss.

Our world feels a bit emptier right now, but the legacies left behind by these three gentlemen help fill that void. To simply say thank you for their work sounds so inadequate. So instead I’ll share Oliver Sack’s last tweet (August 23) with his choice of accompanying video.

“A beautiful way to perform one of the world’s great musical treasures.” Oliver Sacks

The Wound Is The Place Where The Light Enters You

Fear. Illness. Disappointment. Anxiety.

The words dangle before my eyes, suspended in midair as if to taunt me. They hang in the balance as constant reminders of what is now. I close my eyes tightly, hoping the words will disappear. But when I open them they dance wildly as if to mock me for the hope that went unanswered.

I know I don’t have the corner on pain and sadness. But I’ve had more than my share, in ways I never imagined.

Offer hope instead of platitudes to those with chronic illness

People mean well when they offer trite platitudes like “When one door closes another one opens” or “We get as much as the Lord thinks we can handle” but those maxims were created by people looking for easy answers. They’ve never stopped anyone’s anxieties.

Whatever lessons I’ve learned came from the brilliance of others who offered hope and resilience through words or action.

When I was thirteen my brother gave me the book “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran. I quickly devoured it. As I allowed the words to wash over me something powerful happened. My inner spirit came to life as if there was a birth. And there was. It was the beginning of my passion for philosophy and spirituality. I felt my inner spirit coming out of the darkness and into the light.

Change your perspective, change your world

Gibran offered me a way to look at life through a different lens. Changing your perspective can change your world.

The wound is the place where the Light enters you. ~ Rumi

The words of great philosophers, poets and men and women of peace give us comfort during troubled times. Ordinary folks living their lives with integrity, dignity and compassion provide us with examples to live by.

They all give us the tools to live an honorable life in an imperfect world. Living is not determined by what life brings to us but by the attitude we bring to it.

Attitude is key to living a life of joy

At a young age I learned that my attitude would be the key to living a life of joy and passion. Little did I know how handy this would be at a seminal moment in my life when, at the tender age of twenty-eight, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and became part of the disability community. I leaned on the philosophy of Gibran to help me face my greatest challenge.

Buddhism helped me deal with adversity. When things fall apart, feel lucky instead of angry. Yes, lucky. By facing fear we find the courage to grow stronger. Leaning into fear is an opportunity to flourish.

I know that facing our fears is not an easy thing to do. Sometimes the adversities we face are almost too much to bear. Life can be cruel.

When MS feels too much to bear, do this

Sometimes life hurls bushels of lemons at us and we’re unable to make lemonade. Our troubles seem too difficult to overcome and we think we’ll never recover.

Breathe. Step outside of yourself and look through a new lens. We always have two choices: feel sorry for ourselves or treat the lemons as a gift. Every challenge is either an obstacle or an opportunity to grow. The choice is ours.

My lemon is my chronic illness. It’s a battlefield, a daily war zone of fatigue, pain, weakness, anxiety and even depression.

What's your lemon?

The importance of gratitude when facing chronic illness

Every day I try to be grateful for the morning sunrise and the fact that I can get out of bed on my own. I'm grateful to be able to dress, bathe and feed myself. That I can walk and use both arms to hug my husband, son, and cats. I blessed to have work I’m passionate about and the ability to help others feel less frightened and isolated on their health journey.

And I can make my own choices.

No matter what course my disease takes in the coming years I will remain strong. I will always use my voice to make a difference in the lives of others, and let the world know that this disabled woman will always matter.

At some point in our lives we will all stand on the precipice of fear and must choose which direction we want to go. Life isn't always fair. It's not the Utopia we want it to be. So in the face of sadness and despair I hope we can remain forever strong.

How about you?

I choose to live in gratitude, no matter what lemons are thrown my way. I count my blessings, turn toward fear and keep my head in the direction of the sun to face another challenge. Because, as my favorite quote by Rumi says:

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

NOTE: This post was originally posted July 2015.

Other Post you might enjoy:

Offer hope instead of platitudes to those with chronic illness

Change your perspective, change your world

Attitude is key to living a life of joy

When MS feels too much to bear, do this

The importance of gratitude when facing chronic illness