How My Mother Taught Me Courage Despite Adversity
I recently read a discussion on Facebook asking if we had stay-at-home or working moms when we grew up. It dawned on me that mine was both.
My mother went back to night school when I was 5 to finish her college education, and was home during the day to raise my brothers and me.
She finally earned her degree when I was 10 and immediately found a job as a second grade teacher.
So I was the product of a stay-at-home and a working mom. Now that I'm a mother I realize how hard and tiring it must have been for my mom, yet she always managed to be available to help me with my homework and drive me to school activities.
If you asked me what was the "best" thing she did for me I couldn't point to one specific thing because there were so many ways she illustrated how to have courage despite adversity.
She'd be the last person to acknowledge this, so I decided to write her a letter to show how I learned the meaning of courage from the life she's lived.
Dear Mom,
Mother’s Day is coming and I haven’t a clue what to get for you. You always say you don’t need anything. Despite what you say, I wish I won the lottery so I could bring you back to Paris or spend a week together at a spa.
For now you’ll have to settle on what I can offer you: my words. To others this may sound trivial, but I know that’s not how you’ll feel. You’ve always been my biggest fan since the day I was born, and today will be no exception.
You’ve spent all of your life somewhat in the shadows of others. You grew up at a time when being a feminist was not fashionable and men held all the power, both at home and in the office.
Despite that, Mom, you stepped out on your own. Only you never realized that’s what you were doing, and never gave yourself credit for it.
Well, Mom, I’m here to point it out to you and to anyone reading this post. So brace yourself.
You excelled in school, making valedictorian while working from a young age to help with your family’s finances. As a young newlywed and mother you held your family together after a family tragedy, taking care of my grandparents and my brother under the same roof while dad went off to war.
This was no easy task but you did what you had to do.
You quit college to earn a living for you and dad, a selfless act. After dad became a successful attorney it was your turn to do something for yourself.
You decided to go back to school to finish your college degree even though you had three young children at home.
You were a product of your generation: a stay-at-home mom whose main function was to cook, clean and take care of the kids. That wasn’t enough for you.
You were revolutionary by going back to work while your children were young. In those days few mothers were working full-time.
I was so proud of you.
Although you were busy as a teacher you always had time to help me with my math homework or listen to my silly schoolgirl stories. You were always available to me, and I thank you for that.
When I was first diagnosed with MS you kicked into gear and took great care of me. After I was married and wanted to become pregnant, you drove hours with me to hear a lecture by a doctor who specialized in MS and pregnancy.
And when I miscarried for the second time, you were alone with me in Tanglewood. You consoled my aching heart.
When Jordan was born it was no surprise that you and Dad spent hours at the hospital needing to be nearby to make sure the baby and I were healthy. Gary and I were happy to have you join us in the delivery room after our healthy son was born.
So, Mom, you’re quite a special lady. I wanted to remind you of that, and of how much you’ve mattered to me. Most importantly, I want to publicly say, “I love you.”
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.
This post originally appeared on An Empowered Spirit for Mother's Day 2013.
