Life Happens When You're Busy Making Other Plans

We all know the quote that is attributed to John Lennon saying, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." The quote is brilliant because it's honest and true.

An ordinary day can turn on a dime.

A person rarely reaches my age without learning some hard lessons about life after facing illness, financial struggles, toxic relationships or tragedy. These are inevitable as we age, and the lessons we learn forces us to acquire some survival skills.

If you're wise you'll realize that being flexible about the inevitable twists and turns of life is healthier for you. Because the life we plan and the life we lead are, more times than not, two very different things.

Bending instead of breaking is always optimal.

For instance, over the past week I said farewell to a dear friend.

Life

and cared for a sick one.

Life

I celebrated some exciting family successes,

Life

and was mindful of a few happy moments walking by.

lifeIt's important to remain focused on staying healthy while maneuvering the highs and lows of daily life. Eating right, getting plenty of exercise and practicing a stress-reducing activity (such as meditation) will help keep our bodies happy as we age.

Life

It was the 1980's and big hair was, well, BIG!

Here's what worked for me this week:

Visualizing how I want to look and feel: At 55 I won't feel like I did at 25, 35, or 45. I'm trying to be the best ME I can be at this age. I'm not perfect. I stumble and fall, but I always try to get myself back up to try even harder.

Eating less: I have the Jenny Craig meal plan on my side to help me eat healthy meals, and I add fresh fruits and vegetables to each meal.  This week I ate several meals out, so I'd cut up fresh veggies and carried them in a Zip-Lock bag in my purse. I tried to plan what I'd eat before every outing (a special thanks to Houston's tuna sashimi salad with cilantro viniagrette - a big yum!) Was I perfect? No.  I'm a work in progress. But I'm eating healthier than I was a year ago. That's a step in the right direction!

Life

Finally met Carol April of ndy (Not Done Yet) and she came bearing gifts and a new friendship.

Feeling better about the way I look: I'm fighting every (single) ounce to get off my body.  It's a battle, and so far I've lost 12 pounds since December.  I don't want to gain any weight back after working so hard to take them off.  That fact continues to motivate me.

I like telling my husband that I'm losing weight: Okay, I admit it.  It feels good to tell my husband my good news.  Do you have any idea what it's like to be married to someone who weighs the same as he did when we met 29 years ago?  He is dedicated to eating right and getting plenty of exercise. He also has great metabolism! This can be maddening at times, so I try to imagine what it feels like to never worry about gaining weight. Ah, Utopia.

What do you do to take care of your health as you age?

*I received a free month on the Jenny Craig program and a discount on food for this review.  There was no compensation.  All opinions are solely my own.  NOTE: Clients following the Jenny Craig program lose, on average, 1 -2 lbs. per week.

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Leaving Home And Beginning A New Chapter Of Our Lives

We’re getting ready to move from the home we built twenty-one years ago. It’s time to downsize, time to begin a new path by stepping forward into the next chapter of our lives.

path journey chapter

I’m having a hard time with this.

There are many reasons, from sweet to melancholy, why I'm having trouble with the idea of leaving our home for good. I’ve imagined a sleepless night before daybreak comes, forcing me to face the last time I’ll ever walk around inside of what will always be MY home. It will never truly belong to anyone else.

I’ll be leaving behind a piece of my heart.

path journey chapterI know that a house is just a "thing" and that family, friends and good health are what matters most.

But my heart still aches.

I live in a house with two men, a house filled to the brim with testosterone where much of the conversation revolves around sports, business and politics. I don't mind discussing those subjects because they interest me as well. But women, well, women like to discuss feelings and every little minutiae of the day.

I don’t think they truly understand my deep emotional attachment to our house.

They are ready to move on, and are even a bit excited about it. I know intellectually it’s time to go, but my sentimental soul causes my heart to ache. Here’s why:

Another door closes: Once we move, another chapter of our lives is over. We were starry-eyed with our 16-month-old son when we finally closed and moved into our new home. We painstakingly planned the interior and exterior of it, and moving in was a joyous day. We were at the beginning of a new journey, and now we are at the end of that road.

Landscaping: Growing up my father planned and planted all of the landscaping around my childhood home. With our new home he envisioned another chance to use his gardening skills. We were willing recipients. He planted with love, so it will be difficult for me to say goodbye to his handiwork. Nature is for the ages, and others will benefit from his work for years to come. Yet I know that when we pull away for the last time, I’ll want to kiss every peony, each shrub and all of the daffodils he lovingly planted.

All grown up: There weren’t many houses on our street when we moved in, so miles of woods surrounded us. My son and I spent a lot of quality time outdoors, with birds or turkeys looking on as we explored our new surroundings. He went from a Little Tykes sedan to entering college in what seemed like a span of 5 minutes. Gone are the little boy playgroups scuffing our wood floors and Halloween apple-dunking parties in our basement. Today when I look around I still picture him playing and being his happy self. I think to myself, “That’s where we let the butterflies go free” from the box we bought at Zany Brainy, or “That’s the rock he sat on while waiting for dad to come home.”

path journey chapter

A house filled with toys and boys. A love of cars and cellphones started early on..

Nature: I will miss being surrounded by nature, and getting my hands dirty in the soil to plant pots of spring flowers or trying to copy the English garden I saw in The White Flower Farm catalogue. I love being outside and the fresh smell of our cut grass, dirt, flowers and, yes, even fertilizer. Every tree, every blade of grass on our property feels like it belongs only to me. I know that sounds crazy, but go ahead and argue with my heart.

path journey chapter

We visited The White Flower Farm in Litchfield, Connecticut to get landscaping ideas.

Loved Ones: My brothers and I have five boys between us, and we took turns hosting parties for birthdays and holidays while they grew up. We are blessed the cousins grew up together, and, as fine young men, are still good friends.

path journey chapter

Family parties were always fun for the five boy cousins

We also hosted parties for my husband’s side of the family who live far away. I become wistful thinking about his grandparents, my son’s great-grandparents, who lived to be 92 and 100 years old. They were extraordinary people, and we felt blessed when they'd fly north to spend time with us in our home.

path journey chapter

Pets: At the urging of our then 9-year-old son, we adopted our first cat. Since then we’ve adopted three more. One of them was a feral that nuzzled against our window for days, obviously the product of a thoughtless owner who misplaced him or let him go. The four years with him wouldn’t have happened if we lived elsewhere. Blessings.

I am a spiritual person, so I am working hard on processing the advice friends have given to me:

My heart is still aching. I am a work in progress.

Have you ever experienced a difficult time transitioning from one chapter of your life to another?

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What Was Your Self-Image In Grade School? A Baby Boomer's Tale Of Changing How We View Ourselves

There it was.  That dreaded scale.  The one I thought would ring a bell loudly and shout,"Oh, jeez, please get off of me!"

Scale Self-Image

I remember when I was young and my mother was on a diet.  She put a gadget inside our refrigerator that, after opening the door to find something to eat, would scream "Close the door, fatty!"

 I hated that contraption.

Self-image is an important reason why women (and men) spend thousands of dollars on beauty products each year.  According to an article in MarketWatch.com, the Commerce Department reported, "Americans spent a whopping $33.3 billion on cosmetics and other beauty products in 2010, up 6% from 2009."

And according to a 2013 article in TIME article, "The American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) says that while total cosmetic surgeries fell by 2% last year, the number of what they call “minimally invasive” procedures rose by 6%. The most popular of these were Botox and Dysport injections, followed by soft tissue filler injections, chemical peels, laser hair removal, and microdermabrasion."

We all want to look good.

But at what price? Our self-image starts when we're young. We begin by comparing ourselves to the most popular girls in grade school.

Self-Image

You know, the girls all the boys were going ga-ga over while our hormones were raging out of control.  The ones with straight, shiny hair, button noses and long, slender legs who were good in gym and always wore the coolest clothes.

Sorry to digress.  That was my memory.  What?  Did I hear you nodding your head? Phew.

Today, the news about self-image for young people is appalling. Take a look at recent statistics:

 

I don't know about you, but I find these numbers appalling. A female's self-image needs a lift, and young girls urgently need our help.  

How can this be done?

Through education and awareness. And the buck stops here.

As a baby boomer and a mother, I feel a sense of urgency to portray ourselves in a positive light, and to be good role models for young people. However and whenever we can, we need to write messages that clearly demonstrate we are beautiful no matter what the scale says.

What society deems, and what glossy magazines portray, is not reality.

I want my clothes to fit better, and I'd like to feel healthier. It's simply unhealthy to carry any extra weight, especially when there are family genetics skewed in the wrong direction.

Taking steps toward wellness and living a healthier lifestyle is why I began the Jenny Craig program. I want to get back to eating regular portion sizes, bump up the amount of fresh fruits and vegetables I consume, drink more water and get more exercise.

Self-Image

When I was young I wanted to look like Christie Brinkley.  Today, I am comfortable in my own skin.

I don't have straight, shiny hair or long, slender legs.  But I do have my own unique brand of beauty, and that is something that every one of us has.

What did the scale say to me?  It said "job well done" and "thanks beautiful."

At least in my heart it did.

What can you do to help change a young girl's self image?

 

*I received a free month on the Jenny Craig program and a discount on food products.  There was no compensation.  All opinions are solely my own.  NOTE: Members following the Jenny Craig program lose, on average, 1 -2 lbs. per week. 

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How To Lose Weight During Midlife: One Pound At A Time

“She threw back her head with a laugh that made her chins ripple like little waves.” ~Edith Wharton, The Age of Innocence 

As I forge ahead on the Jenny Craig program, I've become more mindful of what I eat, trying to keep my eye on the prize of feeling and looking better.

Eating Jenny Craig Midlife Weight

The phrase "lift and separate" takes on a whole new meaning during midlife.

In midlife it's not as easy to lose weight as it used to be.  Our metabolism has changed, and being in menopause doesn't help.  I can't simply cut back on the calories and poof - the pounds magically disappear.

No, no, no.

Now that gravity has taken over, it's not uncommon for my friends and I to discuss exactly what is, ungraciously, happening to our bodies.

Boobs somehow need to be picked up off the floor with wired four-hook contraptions that promise to lift and separate, while minimizing any "back fat." (Ew)

Extra fat appears around our midriff, mimicking someone who's had one too many beers.

You can no longer see your toes.

Today there are some not-so- lovely new names for extra fat that are enough to make you want to lose weight:

Jiggly fat, turkey twaddle, chubette, fattux, chunky, fatass.

You get the idea.

Every single pound - every single ounce - is a battle to  lose.

Smokey and Jenny Craig and Eating Weight

Who's that sitting in my chair? Smokey is dreaming of Jenny Craig's Chicken Fajitas!

I'd love to, once again, be able to get dressed without the need to check and re-check the mirror to decide whether or not I look good in an outfit.

I gave up trying to ask my husband what he thinks.  He's learned over the years that answering my questions are a lose-lose battle.

"Honey, do I look alright in this outfit?  Do you think my butt looks too big?"

"No, your butt looks the same."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing.  I'm just answering your question."

"I don't think so.  You said my butt looks the same.  I saw the look in your eyes. I heard that inflection in your voice.  You think my butt is too big."

"What are you talking about?"

Fade out. (It gets ugly.)

Losing weight takes more effort these days than it used to, so I'm reverting back to some old tricks I learned a long time ago.

 

I hope these tricks work for me, because feeling healthier is the ultimate goal.  In the new year, it's the best gift I can give to myself.

Are you following any new healthy regimens this year?

*I received a free month on the Jenny Craig program and a discount on their food for this review.  There was no monetary compensation.  All opinions are solely my own.  NOTE: Clients following the Jenny Craig program lose, on average, 1 -2 lbs. per week.

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The Best Gifts Are Passed Down From One Generation To The Next

Someone asked me what was the best gift I ever received. I've been stumbling over my response to this question ever since.

love and compassion

I didn’t want to answer by saying something obvious, like a happy marriage (which I never take for granted) or something tangible like a beautiful piece of jewelry.

Then it hit me.  Of course.  It was right in front of me all the time.

The best gift I ever received might sound strange to you, but its the lessons I learned about myself, and from those around me, after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.    

Being diagnosed with an incurable chronic illness is not only about the patient. It's also about those who love and care about you. The courage and love shown by family and friends while the sting of the diagnosis is fresh and raw is a true lesson.

And a gift.

My family showed courage the day of my diagnosis.  My mother had the unenviable task of telling me about my diagnosis, something no mother should ever have to do.  My brothers hugged me, and my father quietly kissed my forehead while gently stroking my hair.

My boyfriend held me close, and whispered he was with me for the long haul.

My three best friends cried and laughed with me as we listened to each other's words of wisdom.

This is how my journey began.

Family gifts

Over the years I’ve had friends drop off the radar.  Because of their ignorance and inability to understand illness, I’ve been hurt, questioned and misunderstood. This served to strengthen me, and was the catalyst in my need to educate and spread awareness about MS and that, despite having a disability, my abilities are what define me.

The gifts I received of love and understanding are the ones I've tried to pass on.

When my son was born we decided to always be truthful with him, even about my illness.  Mommy can’t run, Mommy gets tired, Mommy has good days and bad.  We also wanted him to learn the importance of a positive attitude, tolerance and being compassionate.

When my MS Center was celebrating their 10th anniversary my son was 3 years old.  A popular local newscaster was attending their celebratory event, and my son and I were going as well. While the newscaster was speaking, I noticed my sweet little boy climbing up into the lap of one of our dear friends who was severely disabled and required a wheelchair.

I smiled when I noticed the joy on the man’s face.  That tiny act from our big-hearted, innocent child stayed with me all these years later.  I knew in my heart that we had, indeed, instilled in our son the best gifts I ever received:  love, compassion and an understanding heart.

My "best gift" was being passed down from one generation to the next.

gifts of family

 

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My Story: Life Through A Lens Or How I Finally Made Peace With My Glasses (Includes My First VIDEO)

The following is a sponsored post.  I received compensation and merchandise. All opinions expressed are solely my own.

My journey of wearing glasses began a long time ago. "Let's start at the very beginning.  A very good place to start."  

http://youtu.be/uZ6B7FAtPlY

(Don't judge me too harshly. This was my first video for An Empowered Spirit.  NOTE TO SELF: Stop saying "ANYWAY"..)

When I first dated my husband I refused to let him see me wearing my "coke bottle" glasses.  My nearsightedness required the lenses of my eyeglasses to be quite thick. I was used to wearing contact lenses and felt self-conscious wearing glasses.

girleyeglasses

Photo: Etsy

A few months after we began dating I developed an eye condition preventing me from wearing my contacts. One night, we decided to go to a local restaurant for dinner that, coincidentally, my future in-laws were dining at as well.  After spotting us, they began to walk over to meet me and I quickly took off my glasses and hid them. While being introduced, I attempted to look as upbeat and casual as possible.

In reality, all I saw were two complete blurs. I had no idea what they looked like.

Readers

Reading about cute puppies and kittens puts a smile on my face.

Eyeglasses have come a long way since 1985.  They are not only functional, but have also become a fashion accessory.  You can express your style and personality through chic, trendy or sophisticated lenses.

I no longer think twice about wearing glasses in public.

When I work I need to wear contact lenses and readers

When I work I need to wear contact lenses and readers

As I age, all print seems to be getting smaller and smaller. I can't shop in a store without the need to pull my readers from my purse so I can read a list of ingredients or the fine print in a circular.

I have a pair of readers in every room of the house, a pair in my car, one in my purse...

Readers Three

When I read outside it feels good to wear fashionable sunglass readers

After Readers.com reached out to me to try their product, I was surprised not only at the wide selection of readers and eyeglasses they offer, but at their affordable prices. Their guarantee of satisfaction is important, because I know firsthand how crucial it is to find the right pair of eyewear.

Happy Reader

I love having different choices so I can express my individual style with the readers I wear.

Whether I'm writing, reading or shopping, a comfortable and stylish pair of readers makes my life easier while giving me a chance to express myself.

Hmm.  Which pair will I wear today?

Do you wear readers?

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The No-Iron Foxcroft Collection: How It Makes Life Easier For Someone With A Disability

The following is not a sponsored post.  I received no compensation, other than a Foxcroft blouse as a gift for attending the BOOMBOX Network Social Soiree. The opinions expressed are solely my own.  

Foxcroft

Photo: Foxcroft website/foxcroftcollection.com

A few weeks ago I was invited by BOOMBOX Network to a cocktail party for Foxcroft, the women's apparel company.  This year, they are celebrating 25 years of "effortless style".

I looked forward to learning more about their line of clothing designed with the feminine figure in mind, with fabrics and designs I always count on for a casual yet polished look.  Timeless, classic and comfortable.

Arriving at Foxcroft

Arriving at Foxcroft with my fun chauffeur, Estelle Sobel Erasmus (musingsonmotherhoodmidlife.com)

After arriving at the party and getting settled in with hugs from friends and introductions to other attendees (and, of course, eating a few hors d'oevres since I was starving!) I was pleasantly surprised to learn Foxcroft also carries a men's line.  Their display enticed me to look around and touch all of the soft fabrics.

Foxcroft Collection

Foxcroft Collection: Men's Apparel

After entering the larger and more crowded back room, I had some time to catch up with old friends and make new acquaintances. It was a lot of fun.

Foxcroft

Midlife bloggers who are now good friends

When it was time to quiet down and learn what was new at Foxcroft, we heard about their newest arrivals, and the fabulous no-iron line they offer.

Regina

Regina of Foxcroft, modeling one of their fabulous blouses. She's a great model for their apparel.

Welcomig us was Thomas Dietrich, President of The Apparel Company, parent company of Foxcroft

Welcoming us was Thomas Dietrich, President of The Apparel Company, parent company of Foxcroft

No-iron?  Music to my ears.  I hate to iron (just ask my husband), and doing so is fatiguing for someone with a disability.  Standing for long periods of time is difficult, so ironing is the last thing on my "to do" list.

How many times has my poor husband tried to (ahem) iron his own shirt?  He doesn't love to do it (at all) but does it when he has to because he knows it makes my life easier.

No-iron?  That's a dream come true.

I purchased "no-iron" clothing before, and ended up being disappointed with the product.  After hearing about Foxcroft's I was cautiously optimistic.

Foxcroft clothing

Foxcroft no-iron blouse and tunic. Perfect for people with disabilities.

We were then invited to try on a sample no-iron blouse.  As an added bonus for attending the party, we would be receiving a Foxcroft no-iron blouse (in our choice of long or 3/4 sleeve, with an array of colors to choose from.)

I was thrilled.

Before the party ended, we were treated to a goody bag filled with items from the marvelous sponsors of the party.

Plus my own private hug from friend Audrey Van Petegem of BOOMBOX Network.

Swag

More swag!

Hugs

My own private hug from my sweet friend, Audrey Van Petegem of BOOMBOX Network.

I couldn't wait to receive my new shirt and try it on.  Finally, the day came when my box arrived at the front door.  Hallelujah!

Foxcroft blouse

Waiting to be worn!

The purple color of the blouse was vibrant, and the soft texture made it f-e-e-l good to wear.

Don't you love the feel of premium cotton?  PLUS, there was not one wrinkle in the blouse after being shipped.

Here I am wearing it two ways.  Tell me which way you prefer.

Open as a jacket,

Foxcroft jacket

It looks more blue in this picture. It's not!

or closed as a blouse.

Foxcroft blouse in purple

This is the true color

I love my new blouse and how easy it will be to keep it looking crisp and fresh every time I wear it.

Ordering Foxcroft apparel is easy to purchase online by going to the Foxcroft website.

What do you think of the new no-iron apparel?  Will it make your life easier?

Thank you to BOOMBOX Network and especially to the ever-fabulous hostess of the night, Audrey Van Petegem. I want to also thank Foxcroft, and the sponsors for this fun event:

Boombox Sponsors

The generous sponsors for the BOOMBOX/Foxcroft event

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Healthy Living: How A Movie And A Juicer Started My Journey

Weight

"I'm up in the spotlight, oh does it feel right
The altitude seems to really get to me.
I'm up on the tightwire linked by life and the funeral pyre
Putting on a show for you to see." ~Leon Russell

The life of a blogger is a bit like walking a tightrope.  You can choose to balance your steps toward safety, or you can take a leap of faith and blindly jump off the rope while praying you land safely.

I’ve decided to throw caution to the wind by jumping off the rope. I hope I land safely on my feet after writing about the one subject I never discuss: my weight.

I’ve never been thin or obese, yet I’ve never been comfortable with the way I look, whether I weighed 125 or 175 pounds.  It's a matter of my perception; how I view myself and not necessarily how others view me.

I'm not looking to be on the cover of MORE magazine. I don't need to look like Christie Brinkley or Marisa Tomei.  I'm enjoying the new career I've cultivated during the Second Chapter of my life. I simply want to be comfortable with how I look and feel.

Feeling Good

I’ve always had a hate-hate relationship with dieting.  I love all kinds of food; dieting has always meant the need to cut back on the love.

"The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books—how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook." ~Andy Rooney

Today I’m not looking for a diet.  I’m looking for a new way of life.

My family’s genetics scares the hell out of me.  That fear is the driving force behind waging an all-out war against gaining weight.  It’s an uphill battle, and I’m determined to win the war.

Today I stand before you at 54 years old, going through menopause and living with Multiple Sclerosis.  These two factors are enormous obstacles in my quest for better health.

"When we lose twenty pounds..we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have!  We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty."  ~Woody Allen

Recently, a Facebook friend told me to watch “”Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead”, a documentary chronicling the life of Joe Cross, a 310 pound man on a mission to get healthy.  We follow his journey across America, with his juicer and camera in tow, drinking only fruits and vegetables for 60 days.  His hope was to lose weight while allowing his body to heal itself from a diagnosed autoimmune disease.

I highly recommend this movie.  It’s educational and uplifting.

Fat Sick and Nearly Dead

Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead
Photo: www.drfuhrman.com

After watching the documentary I ordered the same Breville juicer Joe used. I then took a hard look at myself by asking, “Do I want to continue sailing through life not liking the way I look and feel?"

I decided to face my fear head-on by broaching my taboo subject during dinner. Out of nowhere I proclaimed, “I want to get healthier and lose weight.”  I thought my husband and son would fall off of their chairs.  I braced myself and waited for it. Nothing happened, except total silence.

Surprised man

Photo:www.comicbookmovie.com

What did happen was what I should have expected.

My husband quietly asked, “How can I help you?”

We spent time talking about healthy eating, exercises I enjoy doing and where could we buy organic fruits and vegetables in bulk.  We already follow a healthy diet at home (much like Dr. Andrew Weil’s book “Eating Well for Optimal Health”), yet I need to create my own eating plan (a/k/a portion control) according to my personal goals.

Eating Well for  Optimum Health

Photo:www.xpter.infoI

I reached out to a Facebook friend, Amanda, who I knew possessed a wealth of knowledge on healthy living.  She was so inspirational (and profound) that I’d like to share her wisdom with you:

“Find things you really love to do, and just do them. Don't feel you have to do "such and such" to be fit.  If you love to take walks, take walks, but don't get stuck thinking just because you can't do other things, it's useless.  I think the main thing is to feel good about whatever you can do.

Then there's food. That is something you can control. So eat healthy. Consider yourself like an expensive car that only takes the best gas. Remember to tell yourself how great you are.  Imagine you are an Olympic superstar, and tell yourself you can do anything.  You can do anything.  You can do anything.

You have to say it, read it, actually see the words. "I can do this. I can do this."

Powerful words.

I’m ready to take the next step toward creating a healthier lifestyle, while facing my personal weight demons. Like all of you, I want to live a life of quality in my fifties, sixties and many years beyond that.

Today really IS the first day of the rest of my life.  Wish me luck!

I will close by offering you the advice of Dr. Christiane Northrup from her book “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom”:

“Nourishing yourself fully also involves understanding that your body’s metabolic processes are profoundly influenced by the following eight factors:

Nourishing yourself optimally means paying attention to each of these areas.”

What healthy habits do you follow to feel and look good?   

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DISCLAIMER:  Comments from An Empowered Spirit are brought to your attention on topics that could benefit you and should be discussed with your doctor or other medical professional. I am not medically trained and my posts are of a journalistic nature and not in lieu of medical advice. An Empowered Spirit and its author will not be held liable for any damages incurred from the use of this blog or any data or links provided.

 

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