The Wound Is The Place Where The Light Enters You

Fear. Illness. Disappointment. Anxiety.

The words dangle before my eyes, suspended in midair as if to taunt me. They hang in the balance as constant reminders of what is now. I close my eyes tightly, hoping the words will disappear. But when I open them they dance wildly as if to mock me for the hope that went unanswered.

I know I don’t have the corner on pain and sadness. But I’ve had more than my share, in ways I never imagined.

Offer hope instead of platitudes to those with chronic illness

People mean well when they offer trite platitudes like “When one door closes another one opens” or “We get as much as the Lord thinks we can handle” but those maxims were created by people looking for easy answers. They’ve never stopped anyone’s anxieties.

Whatever lessons I’ve learned came from the brilliance of others who offered hope and resilience through words or action.

When I was thirteen my brother gave me the book “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran. I quickly devoured it. As I allowed the words to wash over me something powerful happened. My inner spirit came to life as if there was a birth. And there was. It was the beginning of my passion for philosophy and spirituality. I felt my inner spirit coming out of the darkness and into the light.

Change your perspective, change your world

Gibran offered me a way to look at life through a different lens. Changing your perspective can change your world.

The wound is the place where the Light enters you. ~ Rumi

The words of great philosophers, poets and men and women of peace give us comfort during troubled times. Ordinary folks living their lives with integrity, dignity and compassion provide us with examples to live by.

They all give us the tools to live an honorable life in an imperfect world. Living is not determined by what life brings to us but by the attitude we bring to it.

Attitude is key to living a life of joy

At a young age I learned that my attitude would be the key to living a life of joy and passion. Little did I know how handy this would be at a seminal moment in my life when, at the tender age of twenty-eight, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and became part of the disability community. I leaned on the philosophy of Gibran to help me face my greatest challenge.

Buddhism helped me deal with adversity. When things fall apart, feel lucky instead of angry. Yes, lucky. By facing fear we find the courage to grow stronger. Leaning into fear is an opportunity to flourish.

I know that facing our fears is not an easy thing to do. Sometimes the adversities we face are almost too much to bear. Life can be cruel.

When MS feels too much to bear, do this

Sometimes life hurls bushels of lemons at us and we’re unable to make lemonade. Our troubles seem too difficult to overcome and we think we’ll never recover.

Breathe. Step outside of yourself and look through a new lens. We always have two choices: feel sorry for ourselves or treat the lemons as a gift. Every challenge is either an obstacle or an opportunity to grow. The choice is ours.

My lemon is my chronic illness. It’s a battlefield, a daily war zone of fatigue, pain, weakness, anxiety and even depression.

What's your lemon?

The importance of gratitude when facing chronic illness

Every day I try to be grateful for the morning sunrise and the fact that I can get out of bed on my own. I'm grateful to be able to dress, bathe and feed myself. That I can walk and use both arms to hug my husband, son, and cats. I blessed to have work I’m passionate about and the ability to help others feel less frightened and isolated on their health journey.

And I can make my own choices.

No matter what course my disease takes in the coming years I will remain strong. I will always use my voice to make a difference in the lives of others, and let the world know that this disabled woman will always matter.

At some point in our lives we will all stand on the precipice of fear and must choose which direction we want to go. Life isn't always fair. It's not the Utopia we want it to be. So in the face of sadness and despair I hope we can remain forever strong.

How about you?

I choose to live in gratitude, no matter what lemons are thrown my way. I count my blessings, turn toward fear and keep my head in the direction of the sun to face another challenge. Because, as my favorite quote by Rumi says:

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

NOTE: This post was originally posted July 2015.

Books As Teachers: 8 Books I Will Never Part With

“If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.” ~ Oscar Wilde

I’ve always loved to read, and over the years I’ve found solace in the pages of a good book. Taking you on a journey of discovery and magic, books can enrich your world in ways you never dreamed of.

The best ones never quite leave you.

Several years ago we flew south to celebrate my in-laws anniversary. We planned to stay with them a few nights and then meet the rest of our extended family at a nearby resort. But our son suddenly became ill. I coaxed my husband to attend the celebration as I stayed behind to care for our son.

He slept around the clock.

I became anxious, bored and a little lonely. Fortunately, I remembered to pack the new book I wanted to read for my next book club. It was titled, “The Secret Life of Bees” by Sue Monk Kidd. I devoured it, immediately becoming lost in the story and falling in love with the Boatwright sisters who seemed like dear friends keeping me company for a few days.

I still miss those characters. That is the power of a good book.

Books are to be passed on, and over the years I’ve given many away to family and friends with the proviso that they, too, pass them along. But some books I will never part with. They are like old friends, with their tethered pages and scribbled notes I’ve jotted into the text. I read and re-read them because they’ve become important to me, imparting their own unique brands of wisdom.

They are my teachers.

Here are a few inspirational books that will always be on my bookshelf. Old and new, they have one common denominator: the ability to inspire, teach, move and empower us.

The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran - My brother gave me this book for my grade school graduation. In his inscription he wrote, “I’ve yet to meet a person who has read this and was not inspired by it; I wish someone had given it to me six years ago. Much of its philosophy can be applied to your everyday experiences.” He was quite right. Gibran’s masterpiece resonated with me as much then as it still does today. So when my nephew, my brother’s oldest son, graduated from grade school, I gave him his own copy of “The Prophet.” I hope he treasures it.

Ascending with Both Feet on the Ground: Words to Awaken Your Heart, by Jeff Brown - My best friend sent me this little treasure trove filled with short “soul bytes” that the author gleans from his social media commentary. As Elizabeth Lesser says, “I love learning about life and truth and love and purpose through the wizardry of Jeff’s words.”

Tao Flashes: A Woman’s Way to Navigating the Midlife Journey with Integrity Harmony and Grace, by Lisa G. Froman– My friend Lisa is a spiritually grounded lady who uses the Tao Te Ching as the basis for her book that helps us navigate the often-treacherous waters of midlife. Inspiring us with her passages of wisdom, grace and integrity, she empowers us by allowing us to believe that all things are possible.

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, by Don Miguel Ruiz – This is my go-to book, mostly because Ruiz is extraordinary at illustrating a path toward enlightenment and impeccability, creating philosophies to use as guides toward living a more peaceful and joy-filled existence.

The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, by Julia Cameron – My friend, Lorena, recommended this book to me a few years ago when I was at a crossroads. I soon discovered that The Artist’s Way is an invaluable guide that inspires us to take a closer look at the creative process, while showing us how to discover the creativity that lies within all of us.

A Short Guide to a Happy Life, by Anna Quindlen – I admit that I’ve always been in love with Anna Quindlen. She writes like I think, always providing us with pearly gems of wisdom about life. After losing her mother at a young age, she writes about her realization that instead of merely existing we all need to “get a life” and live it fully.

Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow, by Elizabeth Lesser – The author offers us tools to help us make better choices during the challenges we face in life. Through stories and insights, she supports us by helping us learn to “break open and blossom into who we were meant to be.”

Over It: How to Live Above Your Circumstances and Beyond Yourself, by Mary Buchan – The newest member of my bookshelf, Ms. Buchan bares her soul about the challenges she’s faced in her own life, and then she combines her stories with ancient wisdom to help us transform our own lives for the better. With thought-provoking questions at the end of each chapter, she coaches us to move away from the darkness and into the light. Her soft touch and engaging personality helps us feel as if we’re talking with a dear and loving friend.

What books will always remain on your bookshelf?

Healthy Eating During Stressful Times Can Pave The Way Toward Wellness

Have you ever had one of "those" weeks? You know the kind. When nothing seems to go right. When, despite everything you do, nothing goes your way?

I felt better knowing that Mary Tyler Moore experienced the same thing.

Okay, so it happened in a sitcom Whoever wrote that particular episode knows exactly what I mean.

We all experience the normal ups and downs of life in one way or another. It's inevitable and unavoidable. You can't experience truly exquisite moments of joy without traveling down a road of unhappiness somewhere on your journey.

I love the poet Kahlil Gibran. Through the years I've turned to him for his wisdom-filled insights and inspiration. As a blogger I've come to rely on him for quotes. It was he who said:

“Joy and sorrow are inseparable. . . together they come and when one sits alone with you . . remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.” ~Kahlil Gibran

This week I had a lot going on in my life, and I felt as if I was on a runaway treadmill with no slow speed limit in sight. Typically, when I feel this way, I overeat my "comfort" food.

Ah, food. The what-am-I-going-to-stuff-my-face-with-to-make-me-feel-good -feeling that I was dying to dive into.

Did I yearn for a box of chocolate chip cookies? Or perhaps a huge bowl of pasta with a loaf of garlic bread dripping in butter? Maybe, in honor of Valentine's Day, I'd scarf down a box of chocolates?

Luckily, the old saying "A moment on your lips, a lifetime on your hips" kept popping into my head.

I didn't want to backslide on my regimen of healthy eating after doing so well on the Jenny Craig program. I've been working hard to look and feel better, so I tried to remain focused by thinking about how I'd feel about myself after gorging on food.

Or how I'd feel after stepping onto the scale.

I did the best that I could. It's easier when I'm home to stick to the plan; it's much harder when I go out to lunch or dinner.

The trick to healthy eating is to replace your old, bad eating habits with new, healthy ones.

The days I went out I'd cut up and fill a Ziploc bag with celery, carrots and cucumbers. I'd keep a small apple in my purse, along with Jenny's Anytime Bar.

When going out to lunch, I was careful with my portion sizes, stuck to salads made with fresh vegetables and grilled chicken or fish, and ordered dressing on the side.

And I drank a lot of water.

I told myself I didn't have time to fit in any exercise. That made all the difference.

When I stepped onto the scale at my Jenny Craig appointment, my weight was the same. I didn't lose any weight, but better than that, I didn't gain any.

I consider that a personal victory. In the past, I would have relied on food to comfort me. And this week I didn't. I relied on myself, and on my knowledge of the relationship between eating and wellness.

Now that I know I can do it, I am proud of myself. Today is, again, the first day of the rest of my life. And on this first birthday, I am going to continue to eat right, and make more of an effort to get back on that treadmill for some much needed exercise.

Only this time I am in control.

How do you manage your eating habits during times of stress?

*I received a free month on the Jenny Craig program and a discount on their food for this review. There was no monetary compensation. All opinions are solely my own. NOTE: Clients following the Jenny Craig program lose, on average, 1 -2 lbs. per week.

Offer hope instead of platitudes to those with chronic illness

Change your perspective, change your world

Attitude is key to living a life of joy

When MS feels too much to bear, do this

The importance of gratitude when facing chronic illness

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