Why I'm Thankful For My Diagnosis

The philosopher John Lennon (or whoever said it first) famously wrote, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." The life we imagine when we're young isn't always the one that we live. Our paths make sudden turns down unexpected byways, leaving us to survive unchartered territory.

March is MS Awareness Month, a time to remember over 2.3 million people worldwide who are living with multiple sclerosis, an unpredictable and incurable disease. Strength, love, hope and courage - those are the words to be mindful of this month.

And, of course a cure.

As February drew to a close I couldn't decide what I'd write about to honor this important month-long event. I mean, what else could I write about MS that I haven't covered already? And what positive spin could I put on it, because that's how I choose to look at my life.

Then it dawned on me.

It's easy to GO ORANGE with Max!

Like Clarence the Angel granting George Bailey the ability to see what life would have been like if he'd never been born (you knew I'd think of a classic film reference, didn't you?) I wanted to write about how different my life would have been without my diagnosis.

Why I'm thankful for my MS diagnosis

I would never have known the joy and unconditional love of dating someone who proposed marriage to me despite my recent diagnosis.
I would never have felt the compassion and understanding of family and friends who loved me at my worst.
I would have missed out on knowing extraordinary nurses who went above and beyond anything they learned in nursing school.
I wouldn't know people in the MS community, and other health-related communities, who continue to inspire and educate me every day through their strength and courage.
I would not have had a reason to use my love of writing to inspire, educate, and make a difference to others about living a positive life after a devastating diagnosis.
I would not have had an opportunity to write for health-related websites and online publications that allow me to write about something I feel passionate about.
I wouldn't know the generous and caring women in my blogging community who accept me for who I am, warts and all.
I wouldn't have had an opportunity to quickly chant my elevator speech about ability and disability to people who've made an impact on the world. Alan and Arlene Alda, John Gray, Goldie Hawn, Mrs. Gene Kelly and Steve Wozniak, to name a few. I "name drop" because I respect and admire all of them for stepping beyond their creative work to make a difference in the lives of others.
I wouldn't have been able to teach my son, by example, that disability doesn't mean inability, and that tolerance, compassion and understanding always matters most.

I look forward to the day when I can finally say, "I used to have MS." That will be the greatest day of all. In the meantime I'll be mindful that despite my diagnosis I'm surrounded by many blessings. And, like George Bailey, I cannot be a failure because I certainly do have friends - near, far, virtual, professional and furry.

I am thankful for my diagnosis because it taught me self-compassion, survival, to remain curious and to always keep hope in my heart.

About MS Awareness Month

National MS Education and Awareness Month is an effort by the Multiple Sclerosis Foundation (MSF) and affiliated groups to raise the public's awareness of multiple sclerosis. The vital goals of this campaign are to promote an understanding of the scope of this disease, and to assist those with MS in making educated decisions about their healthcare.

To inspire others to create a world free of MS, click here to share your thoughts on The National Multiple Sclerosis Society's website.

Learn more about what MS is and find the latest research from the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke page called Hope Through Research.

In The Movie Of My Life Manhattan Would Be A Central Character

I've never been comfortable calling myself a Jersey Girl. I don't know why. Or maybe I do. But it's what I am. And aside from the four years I spent away at college in Boston, I've lived here all of my life.

My heart desperately wants to move south, to move somewhere warm, but for now this is my home.

One of the biggest perks to being here is living close to Manhattan. I've been to others cities around the world, falling deeply in love with the city of Paris. But Manhattan, ah, Manhattan. After crossing the George Washington Bridge or driving through the Lincoln Tunnel, there's an unexplainable pulse that's suddenly palpable, a certain energy I've never felt anywhere else.

Times Square

I often think about the opening scene in Woody Allen's movie "Manhattan. Shot in black and white, the cinematography skillfully captures the essence of Manhattan. Forget about the dialogue. It's watching the city, a third character in the film, set to the music of my favorite composer, George Gershwin, that Allen showcases against the steely rhythms of "Rhapsody in Blue." It's a visually brilliant introduction to a city we both love.

The traffic can be maddening. The sidewalks are crowded. The taxi drivers are crazy. The streets are filled with colorful characters. The prices are expensive. But..

You never know what you'll see when you walk around Manhattan. A woman dressed up as a character in the play "Chicago" or a bunch of fictional characters.

There's a magic to the city unlike anywhere else. The museums, restaurants, theaters, galleries, shopping, parks, music halls, walking paths - they are all squeezed into 33 square miles for our ongoing pleasure.

Broadway shows, or as they used to call it, "The legitimate theater"

Lincoln Center. Central Park. The Village and Soho. The Plaza and Pierre Hotels. Broadway. The Flatiron and Empire State Buildings. Wall Street. South Street Seaport. Times Square.Chinatown and Little Italy. Harlem. Fifth Avenue. Rockefeller Center. Hell's Kitchen. Grand Central. Museum Mile. Tiffany's, Bergdorf's Goodman's, Henri Bendel and Bloomingdales. Zabar's. The United Nations.

The list is endless.

The fun and charm of New York City

The six years I worked in the city was exciting. It was the 1980's and companies were spending extra money to keep their employees happy. When I worked for a large real estate mogul they'd send us home by limousine if we worked late (which was often) and, since I lived in New Jersey, that car ride must have been an expensive one.

Sometimes they'd offer us free tickets to Broadway shows (one time our intermission was spent with Liza Minelli and Sammy Davis, Jr. in the lobby!) Or free passes to nightclubs like The Red Parrot and Limelight.

John Lennon tribute, Central Park and fun at Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum

But my favorite part of being in Manhattan was seeing it through the eyes of our son. At five months old we strapped him into a baby backpack carrier and showed him the vivid colors of the artwork at The Guggenheim Museum. Since then we've enjoyed exposing him to the culture and vibrance of the city he now loves.

It's difficult for me to pinpoint the number one reason why I'm so crazy about New York City. What I do know is that its always taught me a lot about life, and when the time comes to move away I will miss it. Because, like the movie, Manhattan has become a character in my life. It's a dear old friend.

What's your favorite city?

Life Happens When You're Busy Making Other Plans

We all know the quote that is attributed to John Lennon saying, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." The quote is brilliant because it's honest and true.

An ordinary day can turn on a dime.

A person rarely reaches my age without learning some hard lessons about life after facing illness, financial struggles, toxic relationships or tragedy. These are inevitable as we age, and the lessons we learn forces us to acquire some survival skills.

If you're wise you'll realize that being flexible about the inevitable twists and turns of life is healthier for you. Because the life we plan and the life we lead are, more times than not, two very different things.

Bending instead of breaking is always optimal.

For instance, over the past week I said farewell to a dear friend.

and cared for a sick one.

I celebrated some exciting family successes,

and was mindful of a few happy moments walking by.

It's important to remain focused on staying healthy while maneuvering the highs and lows of daily life. Eating right, getting plenty of exercise and practicing a stress-reducing activity (such as meditation) will help keep our bodies happy as we age.

It was the 1980's and big hair was, well, BIG!

Here's what worked for me this week:

Visualizing how I want to look and feel: At 55 I won't feel like I did at 25, 35, or 45. I'm trying to be the best ME I can be at this age. I'm not perfect. I stumble and fall, but I always try to get myself back up to try even harder.

Eating less: I have the Jenny Craig meal plan on my side to help me eat healthy meals, and I add fresh fruits and vegetables to each meal. This week I ate several meals out, so I'd cut up fresh veggies and carried them in a Zip-Lock bag in my purse. I tried to plan what I'd eat before every outing (a special thanks to Houston's tuna sashimi salad with cilantro viniagrette - a big yum!) Was I perfect? No. I'm a work in progress. But I'm eating healthier than I was a year ago. That's a step in the right direction!

Finally met Carol April of ndy (Not Done Yet) and she came bearing gifts and a new friendship.

Feeling better about the way I look: I'm fighting every (single) ounce to get off my body. It's a battle, and so far I've lost 12 pounds since December. I don't want to gain any weight back after working so hard to take them off. That fact continues to motivate me.

I like telling my husband that I'm losing weight: Okay, I admit it. It feels good to tell my husband my good news. Do you have any idea what it's like to be married to someone who weighs the same as he did when we met 29 years ago? He is dedicated to eating right and getting plenty of exercise. He also has great metabolism! This can be maddening at times, so I try to imagine what it feels like to never worry about gaining weight. Ah, Utopia.

What do you do to take care of your health as you age?

*I received a free month on the Jenny Craig program and a discount on food for this review. There was no compensation. All opinions are solely my own. NOTE: Clients following the Jenny Craig program lose, on average, 1 -2 lbs. per week.

Life Lessons On The Occasion Of My Son's 21st Birthday: Our Journeys Are Unique To Each Of Us

Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted to grow up and have a family of her own. She dreamed of meeting a knight in shining armor that would sweep her off her feet and take her away to live happily ever after.

S-c-r-a-t-c-h.

Once upon a time there was a little girl who loved to read. She loved reading about strong-minded, resolute women who were making headlines, like Gloria Steinem and Bella Abzug. She thought it’d be cool to someday burn her training bra. But she was too young and naïve at the time, so she continued to dream about her knight in shining armor and having a family. Would the knight be willing to do housework?

C-r-o-s-s-o-u-t.

Once upon a time, before MS

Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted to live a long and happy life. She dreamed of someday marrying her Prince Charming and, together, they’d have a happy and healthy child. She loved to write, and always enjoyed helping others in need. She always knew that somehow she wanted to find a perfect balance between her family life and a life filled with passion.

Bingo.

But, alas, not all little girls’ dreams come true. Life simply doesn’t work that way. As John Lennon famously wrote, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”

So far, my life lessons were:

Barbie taught me what a perfect body looked like, didn’t she?
Peter Pan taught me that dreams do come true, didn’t he?
James Taylor taught me I’ve got a friend. Would that always be true?
Marlo Thomas taught me “That Girl” was the personification of what every young woman could have when working in The Big City, right?

Life (and dreams) after MS

But life has a mind of its own, and sometimes we learn harsh yet valuable lessons. John Lennon was right. What we envision for ourselves and what life hands us are two different things.

I was diagnosed with MS at age 26. I was totally unprepared for that sudden bend in the road.
I had two miscarriages, and believed I’d have to prepare for a life without children.

When I finally became blissfully pregnant for a third time, it was the charm. Two weeks shy of nine months, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy little boy.

Dreams do come true for those with MS: A son's blessing

My son has been a blessing to me every day of his life.

The life I envisioned for myself so long ago was finally beginning to unfold.

What my son has taught me about life

Today is my son’s 21^st birthday, and he is the whole reason I’m writing this post. I wrote it because I want him to understand that no matter what I learned in my childhood – the joys, frustrations, loves and heartaches, mine is a different road than the one he is traveling.

He has his own journey.

I want him to know he has taught me more than anyone or anything else will.

He’s taught me, through his genteel manner and by his example, about patience, understanding and inner strength.

And he’s given me more love than I ever imagined.

The gift of unconditional love and good port

Twenty-one years ago, my father’s gift to him was a case of fine port, with instructions that the first bottle be opened on his 21^st birthday. In the next week, I look forward to all of us being together to open the first beautiful bottle from this case (with his permission, of course!), and to toast to his happiness on his big day.

May he always be surrounded with unconditional love. May he find his own brand of happiness, with a life filled with purpose and compassion, according to his own desires and principles, and on his own terms.

As my beloved uncle always ended his letters to me, "I hug you with my words."

Happy 21^st birthday, my dear son.