Life Lessons On The Occasion Of My Son's 21st Birthday: Our Journeys Are Unique To Each Of Us

Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted to grow up and have a family of her own.  She dreamed of meeting a knight in shining armor that would sweep her off her feet and take her away to live happily ever after.

S-c-r-a-t-c-h.

Living with MS and still keeping dreams alive

Once upon a time there was a little girl who loved to read.  She loved reading about strong-minded, resolute women who were making headlines, like Gloria Steinem and Bella Abzug.  She thought it’d be cool to someday burn her training bra.  But she was too young and naïve at the time, so she continued to dream about her knight in shining armor and having a family.  Would the knight be willing to do housework?

C-r-o-s-s-o-u-t.

Once upon a time, before MS

Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted to live a long and happy life. She dreamed of someday marrying her Prince Charming and, together, they’d have a happy and healthy child.  She loved to write, and always enjoyed helping others in need.  She always knew that somehow she wanted to find a perfect balance between her family life and a life filled with passion.

Bingo.

But, alas, not all little girls’ dreams come true.  Life simply doesn’t work that way.  As John Lennon famously wrote, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”

So far, my life lessons were:

Life (and dreams) after MS

But life has a mind of its own, and sometimes we learn harsh yet valuable lessons.  John Lennon was right.  What we envision for ourselves and what life hands us are two different things.

 

When I finally became blissfully pregnant for a third time, it was the charm.  Two weeks shy of nine months, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy little boy.

Dreams do come true for those with MS: A son's blessing

Dreams do come true for those with MS: A son's blessing

My son has been a blessing to me every day of his life.

The life I envisioned for myself so long ago was finally beginning to unfold.

What my son has taught me about life

Today is my son’s 21st birthday, and he is the whole reason I’m writing this post.  I wrote it because I want him to understand that no matter what I learned in my childhood – the joys, frustrations, loves and heartaches, mine is a different road than the one he is traveling.

He has his own journey.

I want him to know he has taught me more than anyone or anything else will.

He’s taught me, through his genteel manner and by his example, about patience, understanding and inner strength.

And he’s given me more love than I ever imagined.

Life Lessons from my son

The gift of unconditional love and good port

Twenty-one years ago, my father’s gift to him was a case of fine port, with instructions that the first bottle be opened on his 21st birthday.  In the next week, I look forward to all of us being together to open the first beautiful bottle from this case (with his permission, of course!), and to toast to his happiness on his big day.

May he always be surrounded with unconditional love.  May he find his own brand of happiness, with a life filled with purpose and compassion, according to his own desires and principles, and on his own terms.

As my beloved uncle always ended his letters to me, "I hug you with my words."

Happy 21st birthday, my dear son.

Happy Birthday to my son, from mom with MS

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The Summer Songs That Have Shaped My Life

My friends at Generation Fabulous are having their monthly Bloghop today with the theme “Summer Songs We Love.”  I didn’t think I’d have time to write my own entry, but after reading the first post, I knew I had to jump in.  

playing records

Ah, summer, how I'll hate to see you go.  I eagerly anticipate your arrival each year.  And though summers are not the same as they were during childhood, they still conjure up memories of lazy days, laughing with friends and enjoying nature’s beauty and longer days.

The senses of smell and sight have the power to bring back memories. But sound, well, sound can quickly transport you with the first note of a song.  It’s magical.  It’s memorable.  It’s remarkable.

In our town we had a Community Pool where, when all of the neighborhood kids were younger, our parents would bring us for swimming lessons.  As we got older, our parents would drop us off in the morning, and pick us up before dinnertime.  In between those hours we met new kids, and together we swam, lay in the sun, had new crushes every week, and were always cool when we sang the lyrics of the songs playing on the loudspeaker.

"Build Me Up Buttercup" by The Foundations (1968)
(with clip from "There's Something About Mary")

Songs have always been a big part of my life.  There's aren't many genres I don't care for, so it's hard to narrow down my favorite summer songs.  Here are a few that stand out the most for me.

James Taylor's "Smiling Face" (1977) reminds me of saying good-bye to my boyfriend before leaving for college.

Any song from "Saturday Night Fever" (1977) reminds me of freshman year at college. I saw the movie in Boston, before summer vacation began, with a friend from Brooklyn.  He screamed every time they showed his beloved city on the big screen.

Planning my wedding and accompanying songs for the ceremony in the summer of 1988 was fun. My father made me a cassette tape of suggestions, including Antonio Vivaldi's masterpiece, "The Four Seasons" (including this concerto for summer.)

I grew up in a house where music was always playing.  My father loved classical and mom loved swing.  My two brothers exposed me  (they are older and I got to listen to their albums) to jazz, rock, show tunes and blues.  Our parents brought us to summer concerts in places such as Saratoga Springs, the Berkshires and Manhattan.  Two performances stand out in my mind. One was with my favorite female singer, the incomparable Ella Fitzgerald. The other was Gene Krupa's last performance in 1973, with a reunion of the original Benny Goodman Orchestra.


You thought that was my last song, right?  Ha!  I can't talk about my favorite songs without mentioning the one and only - Frank Sinatra.

Snap your fingers, sing along and enjoy the rest of your summer!

What is your favorite summer song?

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What Did Paul McCartney Remind Me And What Does It Have To Do With Handling Stress?

“When I find myself in times of troubles,
Mother Mary comes to me,
Speaking words of wisdom,
Let it be.

English: John Lennon and Paul McCartney at Ken...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What’s a nice Jewish girl doing writing a post that begins by singing praises of Mother Mary?

Yesterday, I re-watched Sir Paul McCartney being honored at The Kennedy Center Honors.  This is my favorite award show, when peers honor the best and the brightest artists. Musicians such as Nora Jones, Steven Tyler, James Taylor and Mavis Staples belted out McCartney-Lennon songs for Sir Paul.  I broke out in goose bumps.

And when the broken hearted people living in a world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see.
There will be an answer.  Let it be.

 When James began strumming on his guitar and singing “Let It Be”, I realized what the next topic for my blog post would be.

When I was first diagnosed with MS, I was told to learn to handle stress for optimal health.  Through the years, I’ve read about and tried many different ways of coping; some have worked and some have not.

After all of my searching, I realized the most important lesson I’ve learned.

Mandala Spiritual ArtIt doesn’t matter what anyone else believes in. (At least not to me.) It can be Mary or Jesus, Moses, Buddha or The Golden Rule. As long as you have something of your own, something tucked safely within your heart and soul that is your personal belief system. That is what matters. Because inevitably, someday, somehow, when your faith is tested, your beliefs will step up to the plate for you, ready to help you navigate your bumpy road. It will give you comfort, courage and hope for a better tomorrow.

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me.
Shine until tomorrow.  Let it be.

My personal beliefs are a recipe of sorts.  I start out with my Judaic beliefs, lines from great poetry and the teachings of Buddha.  Add to that the many lessons learned from my father and my uncle, great readers of literature and poetry.  Blend in large amounts of the wonders of nature.  Top it off with meaningful stories shared by close family and friends.

These beliefs are the ones I turn to at the end of the day.  They renew my spirit, and give me courage and strength.

I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me.
Speaking words of wisdom.  Let it be.
Let it be, let it be.  Let it be, yeah, let it be.

Through my advocacy work and my writing, I’ve spoken to hundreds of peopleHiking Along Country Road struggling with the burdens of living with an autoimmune disease. I tell them how I’ve learned to deal with stress.  I hope someday they will think of me, and discover what beliefs work best for their journey.

There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be,
yeah, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be." ~John Lennon/Paul McCartney

 Let me offer a few ways I’ve learned to try to lower my stress levels:

 

So, whether it’s Mother Mary or Moses or The Golden Rule that you believe in, each ARE standing right in front of you.  Waiting to help.  Waiting to keep you brave.  Waiting to give you wisdom.  Waiting to give you hope.

What beliefs help you handle stress?

DISCLAIMER:  Comments from An Empowered Spirit are brought to your attention on topics that could benefit you and should be discussed with your doctor or other medical professional. I am not medically trained and my posts are of a journalistic nature and not in lieu of medical advice. An Empowered Spirit and its author will not be held liable for any damages incurred from the use of this blog or any data or links provided.

 

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