When Life Keeps Handing You Lemons: Handling The Difficulties Of Life
Lately I've been thinking about this quote from the Bible:
"God only gives us what we can handle."
While it's often said that this quote appears in the Bible, that is a fallacy. Instead, the actual verse goes like this:
"No temptation has seized you that isn't common for people. But God is faithful. He won't allow you to be tempted beyond your abilities. Instead, with the temptation, God will also supply a way out so that you will be able to endure it. "~Corinthians 10:13
SPOILER: Don't worry. I'm not going to start preaching about religion, the existence of G-d or espouse my personal beliefs.
Life throws us curve balls
It's inevitable that life will throw us curves as we age. If we're lucky, we live a life filled with many blessings, and the darkness of illness, financial hardships or despair rarely comes our way.
But unfortunately that is not always the case. While it seems as if some people sail through life unscathed by darkness, others seem to have darkness dumped on them. When that happens, it feels as if a pitching machine is throwing curve balls at you while you stand still, too paralyzed to move.
"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful." ~Buddha
Life has been throwing me many curve balls lately, and although I try to stay strong and positive, there are times when I just give up.
I give in to sadness, and begin to feel sorry for myself. I'm only human.
I see friends traveling around the country and wish I could join them. I see healthy, vibrant people not being weighed down by the worry of illness. I'm jealous of anyone living in a warm climate and not having to deal with this unnerving winter weather. (How many more days until spring???)
Feeling this way won't change anything, and it's a destructive and useless way to be. But what can I do to change it?
How I focus on the positive while living (and aging) with MS
As we age, it's important for us to learn how to focus on getting through the difficulties of life as best as we can. There are a myriad of ways to do this. Here are some I'm going to try. How about you?
- Do what you love. Playing a sport, spending more time with your children, joining a gym, writing or knitting, or picking up a hobby you've put aside are some ideas. Refocusing your attention can revitalize and refresh your mind, body and spirit.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is invaluable. "Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel / act better even if the situation does not change." ~National Association of Cognitive Behavioral Therapists
- Acknowledge your blessings : Acknowledging the blessings in your life - family, friends, accomplishments at work - is a powerful tool. Focus on them. Then let the people in your life know how much they mean to you. You'll be surprised at how good that will make you feel.
- Take time for yourself - Take a bubble bath and light some candles for a relaxing getaway from the world. Get a hot stone massage. Take a walk in the park to surround yourself with the beauty in nature. Watch an old movie that makes you laugh. Do something that feels good and rejuvenates you. You deserve it.
- Set daily goals for yourself - Use the ease of a program like Google Calendar to schedule daily personal tasks that make you happy. These personal goals will help you feel good, and are important for your well-being.
- Don't allow any disasters to pull you down - Remind yourself of your successes, and remember the people who love you unconditionally and support you. Life is filled with ups and downs. What's important is how you handle them.
The miracle of everyday blessings
My fabulous cousin Gabrielle always knows the right thing to say. She empowers me with her wit and wisdom, especially when she says that when we're tested in life, it only means something awesome is waiting to happen.
I think Gabrielle's advice aligns itself with the quote from the Bible that's been on my mind. I finally understand that the strength we need to endure lies within ourselves. We must believe in the miracle of every day blessings, and the knowledge that we have the power to change how we think and feel.
How do you stay positive when life gets you down?
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