How To Create A Brilliant List To Maintain A Brilliant Life

I can't imagine my 56th birthday being more brilliant. Spending an entire day in the company of my husband and son while having their undivided attention - no Sports Center, stock tickers, political arguments or social media - was something I was more than looking forward to.

In our family the birthday girl or boy chooses how they want to spend their special day. More times than not I've wanted to do something cultural in Manhattan. So I gave my husband a list of plays I wanted to see, and he and my son took care of the rest.

We went to the small theatre-in-the-round, the Barrow Street Theatre, to see the creative and interactive one-man show, "Every Brilliant Thing." The play is about a young boy growing up who does his best to distract his suicidal mother by creating a list of joyful things that make life worth living.

This hour-long play stars the charmingly funny Brit Jonny Donohoe who creates a character that is bright, funny and engaging, something that's not easy to do considering the subject at hand. Yet Donohoe handily succeeds.

As an emotionally damaged boy who never stops searching for a happier life, we, the audience, interact with the story according to the lines and roles Donohoe assigns us when we first take our seats. His poignant and honest depiction of how suicide affects a family makes us laugh and cry as we remain ever hopeful that both mother and son will survive intact.

(Not to give too much away, but our favorite brilliant thing on the character's list was, "Christopher Walken's voice....and hair." Ha!)

Like any dedicated blogger, as I sat and watched the play my mind began to race. How could I write about brilliant lists for my blog? Then it dawned on me: Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone would create their own brilliant list? A list that would make them feel happy to write and joyful to read?

Your list will never be finished, because as we age and experience more and more life lessons, we add our positive experiences to our brilliant list. Just like the main character in the play, there are thousands and thousands of reasons why every brilliant thing we love - everything that makes our heart sing or brings a smile to our face - makes a positive difference in our lives.

So on days when you're having some self-doubt or perhaps feeling a little sad, you'll have your brilliant list to comfort you. It will serve as a reminder of the things that matter most - the simple joys that make life worthwhile.

Here are some things that are on my brilliant list. In the comments below I'd love to read what's on your brilliant list. Remember, there is no right or wrong. It's whatever feels brilliant to you!

The sound of my son's laughter.
Snuggling with my husband.
The look of Nirvana in our cat's eyes when I pet them.
Mozart's Flute and Harp Concerto.
The entire album of Carole King's Tapestry, Cat Stevens' Tea for the Tillerman, Frank Sinatra's In the Wee Small Hours and The Beatle's White Album.
The sound of the ocean.
Smelling the fragrance of peonies or roses.
The soft sound of Paul Desmond's alto saxophone in Take Five. And the entire brilliant song.
Any Cary Grant movie.
A good book that absorbs me so much I can't put it down.
Laughing with my girlfriends and talking about anything and everything.
The sound of crickets.
Receiving a handwritten note in the mail.
Spending time in a library or bookstore.
Animals that are rescued and adopted into forever loving homes.
Turner Classics Movie channel.
Butterflies.
A great massage.
The first velvety note of any Nat King Cole song.
Having no new lesions on my brain and spine.
The satisfaction of writing a good sentence, paragraph and post.
Helping others find what they need, or lending a compassionate ear.
The taste of homemade chocolate ice cream completely smothered with homemade hot fudge.
A beautiful sunset.
The first time I saw Paris, the taste of a croissant from any of their patisseries, and hanging out in Giverny and the Tuileries.
Any painting by Monet, Manet, Renoir, Pissaro, Seurat, Sisley, Morisot, Degas. Okay, it's hard to narrow it down.
Money earmarked for research to find cures for anything that is incurable.
The Peanuts characters.
Don Rickles. Johnny Carson. Together or separate.
Walter Huston singing September Song.
Everything in nature.
Being snowed in with my husband and son.
The smell of chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven.
Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol and You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.
The first time I saw Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music.
Knowing you made a difference in someone's life.
The lyrical voice of Joni Mitchell.
Taking a vacation. Where it's warm. With mountains. Or an ocean. Or both. Or a spa. Or moving where it's warm. With mountains. Or an ocean. Or both. Or a spa.
Buying a new pair of shoes that are comfortable yet attractive.
Doing a Downward Dog.
The smell of baby lotion.
The knowledge that the people I love are happy, healthy and doing what they love.
A peaceful world.

What's on your brilliant list?

How Envy Can Be A Useful Emotion For A Creative Life

“When you fill the Universe with positive thoughts, it will return the same to you.”
“You are in charge of your own life. Your destiny is in your hands.”
“Focus on what you have to create more abundance in your life.”

This has been some of the advice I’ve received lately by well-meaning people. People who believe in me. They believe in who I am and what my personal message is. These are pleasant platitudes that, when I hear them, I want to immediately immerse myself in their words, allowing every syllable to pour over me to help me get closer to the success and joy I think I deserve.

Deserve?

What we deserve (or what we believe we deserve) and what we achieve are two completely different things. Life becomes more complicated as we age, and the good things we thought we deserved can sometimes be remote. They are not handed to us on a silver platter.

It requires a lot of hard work.

As I look around at people I know and care about I see a lot of success. The book they’ve just completed. The fabulous vacation they’ve just enjoyed. The second home they recently purchased. I am happy and proud of them, knowing the hard work and determination it took to reach their goals. I am truly – and thoroughly – thrilled for them. Knowing they are happy has always been enough for me.

But lately I’ve also been feeling envy, and that is a side of me that I don’t particularly care for.

Envy is a useless emotion, yet a very natural one. We watch from the back seat as others live their lives in ways we wish we could.

As I begin to take a closer examination at myself and why I’m feeling this way, I’ve discovered that what my envy is doing is showing me what I want for myself.

Okay, that is pretty apparent; nothing new there, right? But learning that my desire is the underlying element in envy –that is where the lesson is.

Remember in the movie Silver Linings Playbook when Jennifer Lawrence told Bradley Cooper to “read the signs”? Here is my sign. My envy is telling me what I desire, and my desire is what is propelling me into action to work harder to reach my goals and discover my dreams.

That concept is something I can live with.

So I’m continuing to dance as fast as I can by working harder to reach my personal and professional goals.

I’ve been busy trying to figure out how to make positive and rewarding changes in my life so I can alter the direction of my path. I want to change my place in the world to the front seat, doing all I can to make my life an even better one.

Since I love making lists, I put together a short one. I’m using it as my guide for achieving what I want - no, what I need – to do for myself this year.

Better Health – In December I began my relationship with Jenny Craig, starting a new journey of eating well for better health. I am stepping up my daily exercise regimen in my quest to age gracefully, and I feel good knowing I’m taking better care of my body. There is nothing more important than trying to stay healthy. How are you taking better care of your health?

Writing – This year I promised myself to focus on my writing. As a member of Midlife Boulevard, a blogging community that is made up of over 700 women, many extraordinarily gifted writers empower me every day. Many of them are published authors, and seeing their work inspires me to want to publish my own.

A few of them generously sent me their books, asking for nothing in return. Elin Stebbels Wadal’s, Tornado Warning: A Memoir of Teen Dating and Violence and it’s Effects on a Woman’s Life and Doreen McGettigan’s Bristol bOYZ Stomp are two works I look forward to reading, not only for their content but also to learn more about writing, publishing and promoting.

Social – Being a writer can be lonely. I wake up and turn on my laptop, finally shutting it down at the end of the evening. My contact with the outside world is mainly through social media. So I’ve made a pact to arrange social outings at least once a week. Whether it’s with family, friends or business colleagues, getting out into the “real” world restores my sanity. It also gives me more ideas for stories!

What changes are you making to create a better life?

NOTE: *I received a free month on the Jenny Craig program and a discount on food for this review. There was no compensation. All opinions are solely my own. NOTE: Clients following the Jenny Craig program lose, on average, 1 -2 lbs. per week.

"The Sapphires": An Uplifting Movie That Will Make You Want To Dance

There are times in a person’s life when you’re faced with challenges that force you to discover who you really are.

This is one of those times.

As a writer I write about what I know: ability, mindfulness, joy and wellness. These are topics that guide my life.

A beautiful flower, the sound of my son’s laughter, my cats playing, and my husband’s smile are constants in my life that bring me joy and comfort.

What else comforts me? A good movie, of course! One that lifts my spirits and touches my heart. This weekend, my husband and I watched such a movie called “The Sapphires” (2012). It’s an Australian musical comedy-drama based on a true story about 4 aboriginal girls who, in the late 1960’s, form a singing group called – of course – The Sapphires.

The story centers around 3 sisters and their cousin. After losing a local singing contest because of the color of their skin, one of the sisters decides to enter the group in a singing contest that will visit the troops in Viet Nam. They win the contest, and are soon off on a singing tour in war-torn Viet Nam. And the story begins.

I loved this story for many reasons:

I enjoy movies based on true stories. It’s always fun to learn about historical events coinciding with the time frame of the movie. For example, I learned that in the late 1960’s aboriginal rights were finally being addressed. The cousin in “The Sapphires” was lighter in skin color. As a child she was kidnapped and sold to a white family. The circumstances of this story brought the family back together, but at times there was a price to pay.
The news broadcasted on television provided the serious backdrop of the civil unrest happening in The United States, including the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. While this is an important piece to the story, it is done with a light touch so that it doesn’t interfere with the lighthearted and fun aspects of the film.
I enjoy seeing “real” photographs during the end credits, learning what the actual characters look like and where they are today.
The music throughout the film is fun and makes you want to get up and dance. Songs such as “I Heard It Through The Grapevine”, “Soul Man”, “I’ll Take You There” and “Sugar Pie Honey Bunch” was a lot of fun to hear again.
The groovy fashions of the singing group brought me back to the sixties. Remember go-go boots, mini skirts, psychedelic colors and big hair? They got ‘em!

I’d give this movie a big thumbs up, and encourage you to see it when you’re in the mood for a feel-good movie that will put a smile on your face. One critic called it “The Dream Girls of Australia” and I agree.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2Ty4r6mvgg

“The Sapphires” is available on demand on Netflix. Winner of the Best Feature Film for Screenplay/Adaptation, 2012, from the Australian Writers Guild; Best Original Soundtrack/Cast/Show Album from The Australian Recording Industry Association, 2012.

Sharing My Writing Process

When I first read my friend Connie McLeod's question asking whether I'd be interested in joining a group of blogger friends to answer the question, "What is your writing process?" my first reaction was to laugh. Why?

I ~~don't think I have~~ don't have an actual writing process.

But I do love talking about writing, and I also enjoy learning from others about their process. So I thought I'd dive, head first, into shaky waters to perhaps discover what my process is. Let's see what we find!

WHY DO I WRITE WHAT I DO?

I write to marry two things I love: writing and advocacy. I've always loved to write but never had enough time for it. When I entered my fifties I thought it was time to make room for my passions. I thought I'd begin by writing about myself and the world around me, to use my voice through the written word.

As a child I was very shy, and to some extent I still am. But somehow when I write, I am able to express my authentic self in ways I never imagined I'd be able to do.

One more important reason why I write what I do: After my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis at the age of twenty-eight, I met many kind and compassionate people who showed my family and me unconditional love. Today my mission is to repay those kindnesses by paying it forward, trying to help others struggling with disability. Using my voice through writing is my way of doing this. One post at a time.

HOW DOES MY WORK DIFFER FROM OTHERS OF ITS GENRE?

Whether I'm writing about disability, midlife, wellness, animal rights, social good, movies or books, it is written from my unique point of view. That view includes my life experiences, my schticks, my likes and dislikes.

I admittedly look at the world through rose-colored glasses; it's who I am. When I write, I want my readers to look at issues through a positive lens. I enjoy bringing hope to the table, while spreading awareness, and perhaps even educating readers, without being too Pollyannaish. There's enough doom and gloom in the world. If I can make a positive difference in someone's life, I've done my job well.

HOW DOES MY WRITING PROCESS WORK?

I am a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of writer. I know what I have to write for the sites I write for. I know what my deadlines are. Do I organize a schedule for myself? No. Should I? Maybe.

Yet somehow my non-process works for me. It's like when I studied for final exams. I did it at the last possible minute, pulling all-nighters with the help of a case of TAB (before my coffee loving days.)

It ~~always~~ mostly worked.

Here's my process: Every day starts with a cup of coffee while reading, liking, sharing and commenting on social media. Then I scan the days headlines, and move on to the job of writing.

I keep a list of topics I want to write about in a notebook (yes, I'm still old-school) for my paid jobs, along with clipped articles that caught my eye. Topics are mainly based on topical issues or what's trending. From time-to-time I make notes of words and phrases I like. Yes, I am a word nerd.

As for my blog posts, those topics come from thoughts that occur while taking a shower, during a walk, in the middle of a meal or after a conversation.

When I finally sit down to write, I begin by allowing the free flow of thoughts dictate what I type. When they don't flow I step away and come back to it later.

After I'm finished, I fine-tune everything by editing it a few zillion times. I am a harsh critic of my own work.

Is that the right tense? Did I phrase that correctly? Is my voice appropriate to the subject, and do the sentences make sense? Am I getting my point across?

When I am done, I must feel proud of my work or I won't hit the PUBLISH button. Good writing should not only inform someone, but should move them as well. If it doesn't move me, it's not worth sharing.

WHAT AM I WORKING ON NOW?

I'm working on several projects:

I'm trying to find a site to publish an interview I conducted with the director of a star-studded documentary called Cinemability (Ben Affleck, William H. Macy, Gary Sinise, etc.) about the portrayal of people with disabilities in film and television.
I was approached to interview Dr. George Jelinek whose recent findings from a global MS study will be published in Nutritional Neuroscience in May.
I will be paying tribute to nurses for National Nurses Week in May. I love nurses and the way they treat the whole person. I want to pay homage to them for their dedication and compassion.
My long-term goal is to finish a children's book about parents diagnosed with a disability.

Now it's time for me to pay it forward by introducing the next blogger to talk about her writing process, the ever-lovely Linda Maltz Wolff. I met Linda last summer in Chicago at BlogHer. She is a gem, and one of the sweetest people I know. Linda is the creator and writer of CarpoolGoddess.com, a website for women, where she shares the funny and poignant in everyday life. She is a frequent contributor on The Huffington Post, Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop, and What The Flicka. Linda's writing appears in the recently published humor anthology: Not Your Mother's Book On Being A Mom.

Here are links to other writers in this blog tour. Read what they had to say about their process.

Mindy Trotta
Helene Bludman
Connie McLeod
Marci Rich
Jane Gassner
Janie Emaus
Walker Thornton
Lisa Froman

Two Videos That Help Us Do A Happy Dance To Celebrate Spring

What did I hear? It's spring? I don't believe it. When I look out my window there's still snow on the ground. The temperatures are in the forties. I need more proof.

But it is late March, so I'm going to do my happy dance anyway (be wary, Elaine Benes) because I know that shortly I'll be able to shed my heavy coat and sweater, walk outside, and feel the sun warm up my cold, winterized body.

I'll let this movie mashup take it from here. You'll want to get up and dance!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9l5TrAXScbE

I couldn't end this post without a nod to my favorite commercial, one that's always made me happy. You can't sit still during this one with Cary, Gene, Groucho and Twinkletoes.

Have a happy, dance-filled spring weekend.

Two Must-See Movies That Will Capture Your Heart (Movie Review)

I recently learned about a groundbreaking film festival touring the country called The REELAbilities Film Festival. Created in 2007, this festival is dedicated to spreading awareness about disability through film. It offers an opportunity to see award-winning movies, by and about people living with disabilities, in a city near you.

I was fortunate to see three of their films, two that I will review here; the third I’ll review in a separate post

Gabrielle (2013, French with subtitles): Gabrielle, a 2013 Canadian Oscar nominated film, is a simple love story about a young woman with William’s Syndrome who has an infectious zest for life and a strong need to live a “normal” one. She falls in love with Martin, a young man she meets at the recreation center where they both are choir members. Gabrielle and Martin become inseparable until Martin’s mother fears they are becoming intimate, causing her decision to keep her son home and away from Gabrielle’s heart.

I highly recommend this movie for several reasons. First, I felt I was not being hit over the head with any heavy moral messages. The director used a soft touch by allowing the characters and the story to gently unfold, weaving its way in and out of delicate matters that finally landing directly into my heart..

Another reason I enjoyed Gabrielle was because of Gabrielle Marion-Rivard and her joie de vivre performance in the lead role. This was her first professional role, yet this remarkable young woman with her captivating smile and sweet disposition was a joy to watch. She was the character, and her performance was certainly award worthy.

Her role allowed us to take a peek inside her world, and through her we see what life is like when able-bodied people don’t understand the abilities someone can possess despite any disability they may have.

It’s All About Friends (2014, Swedish with subtitles): I strongly recommend this feel-good movie that uses disabled actors as some of the main characters (as does Gabrielle). The film centers around a circle of friends who live in a group home, and decide they’d like to make a film about their lives. Their friend, Peter, calls his old friend, Max, who is about to commit suicide. Unknowingly, Peter’s phone call saves Max’s life. Max agrees to shoot the film, but doesn’t know it will center on people with varying disabilities. He is now forced to face his own prejudices.

This is a sweet movie with characters that charm themselves into our hearts. It’s an indie-type movie that makes us glad we took the time to watch it. We cheer the characters on as we realize that their goodness and valuable insight is teaching us that disability doesn’t mean inability.

To find venues and the schedule of events for all of the films, please visit the REELAbilities Film Festival website.

My Travel Journal: The Southwest And The Miracle That Happened To Me

Georgia O'Keefe - Black Hollyhock, Blue Larkspur (1930)

Dear Self,

As a little girl I used to keep a journal of all my thoughts and dreams. I haven't done that in years, and it occurred to me that now would be the perfect time to start a new journal after something miraculous happened to me.

How good it felt to leave my worries behind, waving good-bye to anxiety and stress and welcoming calmness back into my soul.

A miracle happened to me on this trip. My non-disabled body was returned for 4 glorious days while in Santa Fe. With no humidity, I was able to spend an entire day - AN ENTIRE DAY - fully awake and functioning without the need to nap. My legs and arms were never weak. I felt like I did 30 years ago.

It was phenomenal, and something I won't soon forget.

How sweet it was to start our journey by spending time with family in Scottsdale that I rarely see, and to renew relationships kept on hold while life continues to take us in different directions.

My journey continued to Santa Fe as I joyfully celebrated my silver wedding anniversary with Gary. It was a blessing. We spent quality time together in an area where art, architecture and landscape intersect to create a Mecca of beauty in a quaint, picturesque town.

It was thrilling to be here because this trip has always been on our l-o-n-g Bucket List.

I could breathe again and be myself. Wearing scarves, boots and turquoise, I fit right in with the rhythm of the creative culture.

The adobe buildings were captivating, housing unique galleries, museums, restaurants, shops and homes that colorfully dot the landscape.

Walking along the unique Canyon Road was bedazzling. As we took our time strolling along the area, we discovered that each adobe building housed new and creative artistic treasures of sculptures, jewelry and paintings.

The nature in Santa Fe reinvigorated me. We drove our rental car out of the city and into the narrow two-lane highway of High Road that brought us into the majestic mountains that offered breathtaking views at every turn.

Along the way we stopped at several charming galleries, and walked around El Santuario de Chimayó, a National Historic Landmark church that is famous for the 300,000 yearly visitors it receives in search of their holy healing dirt.

El Santuario de Chimayó Church built in 1816 is widely visited by those seeking wellness from its "holy dirt"

We fell in love with one gallery in particular because of the sweet nature of the artist/owners, their creative pieces of art, and the magnificent property they’ve owned for over thirty years.

I imagined myself sitting outside, listening to the wind chimes created by the owners, surrounded by the beauty of the mountains.

We could finally understand why Georgia O’Keefe moved from New York to Santa Fe after losing her husband, famed photographer Alfred Stieglitz.

To be alone with her art, and with the landscape she loved. Now it all made sense.

I loved the blending of Native American, Latino, White and Asian cultures who peacefully coexisted.

Lamb, chicken and pork on soft corn tortillas were delicious!

Guacamole topped with Serrano ham on top of homemade hearth bread

I loved the vibrant colors of the textiles, jewelry, clothing and artwork.

Sage Bakehouse, where we ate 3 mornings over 4 days in Santa Fe

Every meal was another adventure in delicious cuisine, whether it was authentic New Mexican or French food, or a small bakery (Sage Bakehouse) where using only organic, farm fresh ingredients is important to them. Their policy of providing leftover food to charities that feed the poor endeared them to me.

There was so much to explore, and we made a concerted effort to live fully in every moment, savoring each experience together while toasting to the next twenty-five wonderful years together.

With love and thanks,
A Grateful Girl

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