Book Review: Arlene Alda's "Just Kids From The Bronx" (Includes Interview)

I introduced myself to Arlene Alda at a recent event I attended that featured her husband as guest speaker. I was interested in her and her upcoming book, "Just Kids from the Bronx: An Oral History: Telling It the Way It Was."

Arlene Alda

Abe Rosenthal. Carl Reiner. Martin Bregman. Leon Fleisher. Lawrence Saper. Mary Higgins Clark. Jules Feiffer. David Yarnell. Milton Glaser. Mildred S. Dresselhaus. Regis Philbin. George Shapiro and Howard West. Mark Cash. Arlene Alda. Michael Brescia. Emanuel Azenberg. Avery Corman. I.C. Rapoport. Colin Powell. Lloyd Ultan. Dion DiMucci. Barbara Nessim.

I was nervous. I guess partly because I've long admired Mrs.Alda for her many accomplishments. She received the prestigious Fulbright Scholarship and realized her dream of becoming a professional clarinetist. She played in the Houston Symphony with Leopold Stokowski, raised three daughters and changed career paths by becoming an award-winning photographer and author.

So I was thrilled to have a chance meet her, if only for a few short moments.

To her I was a complete stranger, so I didn't know what to expect as I tapped her on her shoulder. She couldn't have been nicer, and I immediately felt at ease.

She listened with keen interest as I recited the elevator speech I'd been practicing all day, the one about my mother who was about her age and was also born in the Bronx. I told her that as a child I was more interested in hearing stories from my father about his escape from Germany than I was hearing my mother recite stories about being born in the Bronx.

Arlene Alda

Mrs. Alda's book will change all of that, Mom!

Her book of childhood recollections, including her own ("We lived in a one-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment. Mother, father, older sister, older brother, the mutt fox terrier Spotty, and me") collectively constructs a loving portrait of a borough, despite its difficulties, that bred countless residents who not only contributed to society in extraordinary ways, but who also felt a common love for their beloved Bronx.

Al Pacino. Robert F. Levine. Suzanne Braun Levine. Steve Janowitz. Margaret M. O'Brien, S.C. Joyce Hansen. Robert Klein. Julian Schlossberg. Anonymous. Rick Meyerowitz. Joel Arthur Rosenthal. Millard S. Drexler. Andy Rosenzweig. Kenneth. S. Davidson. Daniel Libeskind. Valerie Simpson. Arthur Klein. Dava Sobel. Robert F.X. Sillerman. Maira Kalman.  

Every vignette is a true gem, bringing us back to our own childhood when we'd sit on our front stoop to listen to our grandmother's childhood stories. These stories are truly American, and because the Bronx gave birth to so many creative influencers, by the end of the book you'll wish you were born there too:

Abe Rosenthal (Former Executive Editor of the New York Times) recalls his parents as "pioneers" who moved from the tenements in the Lower East Side of Manhattan to Decatur Avenue in the Bronx.

Funnyman Carl Reiner recalls his love of comedy being sparked by a family of funny people who accepted humor as an important force in life.

Boyhood friends George Shapiro and Howard West (agents, producers and personal managers) recall suffering along with the underdogs, the Brooklyn Dodgers, until the color barrier was broken by the great Jackie Robinson.

Melvin Glober (Grandmaster Melle Mel, award-winning rap artist) who narrowly escaped being on the wrong side of the law because he listened to his sage mother, his strict teacher and his own inner intelligence.

Sam Goodman. Chazz Palminteri. Daniel Hauben. Louise Sedotto. Steve Jordan. Neil deGrasse Tyson. Michael R. Kay. Melvin Glover. Jaime Rodriguez Jr. Luis A. Ubinas. Bobby Bonilla. Sotero Ortiz, Wilfredo Feliciano and Hector Nazario (members of Tats Cru). Majorca Carter. Carlos J. Serrano. Renee Hernandez. Ruben Diaz Jr. Jemina R. Bernard. Amar Ramasar. Gabrielle Salvatto. Erik Zeidler.

This book was an enjoyable read and I'd highly recommend it to every reader. It's not only a portrait of America, but it illustrates that if you hold on tight to your dreams you can make anything happen.

After reading "Just Kids from the Bronx" I had a few questions I wanted to ask Mrs. Alda. She graciously agreed to answer them:

CC: The impressive array of people who grew up in the Bronx leads me to believe there are many more stories that need to be told. Did you have to turn anyone away who wanted to be included in your book? Were there stories you wanted to acquire but were unable to?

AA: There are definitely many more stories to be told. This is just the tip of the iceberg. The interviewing for the book started in such a random fashion. I initially had no idea as to who should or would be in "Just Kids From the Bronx." I started by talking with the CEO of J.Crew, Millard (Mickey) Drexler, who grew up in the same building as I did in the Allerton Avenue section of the Bronx. Going back to our apartment building, the Mayflower, with Mickey was the starting point for my wanting to collect stories from other accomplished Bronxites. I started slowly and cautiously by interviewing and talking with other people I knew who were Bronxites of some prominence. After just a few interviews, I realized I was painting myself into a comfortable corner. Who were the people I didn’t know? And who were the younger people who grew up  in the Bronx…what were their stories? How were the changes in the Bronx over the years reflected in the lives of those who grew up decades after I did? Once I started those explorations, I was on my way to covering ground that rounded out a compelling story of decades of growing up in the Bronx, with all the changes those decades implied.

Most people didn’t know that I was working on "Just Kids From the Bronx," so the issue of turning people away was hardly a major one. I don’t think people were knocking on my door to be in the book. I had to go out and look for them.

A few of the prominent people I would love to have interviewed were Justice Sonia Sotomayor, Edgar Doctorow and Kerry Washington, but those interviews didn’t happen. A loss on all counts.

CC: As a busy wife, mother, grandmother, and someone who has always followed her passions, is there any advice you'd give to women on maintaining a sense of balance in their lives?

AA: From my own perspective as that of a married woman with children, I think it took me years to find my equilibrium. I was not a good juggler, so when my kids were little I spent their early years putting my own profession on the back burner. I didn’t know how to apportion time to them and a budding actor/husband and also to me. What I found out over the years is one simple truth. You can’t have everything all at once, but if you can get your priorities in order, you can have a good shot at "doing your own thing" in due time. You have to be lucky, though. Having a good supportive spouse helps a lot! The old cliche also  applies: Patience is a virtue.  There are never any guarantees for success, but maybe a warranty that lasts a few years? That’s not bad either.

CC: Many of my readers are midlife bloggers/writers. Can you offer any writing tips?

AA: I’m not sure I have writing tips, having  come to writing as a third career choice. (Music, photography and then writing.) But here goes anyway. Writing is a process. Writing is a skill. Writing is an art. It can come from your head and/or your heart. Write every day, even if it’s a sentence or a paragraph. One thought leads to another. Whenever I write anything, and that includes this email, I let it sit for awhile, and then I edit like crazy, but I don’t edit while I'm in the throes of getting it out. I let it sit. Editing comes later. A question I always ask myself when writing is, ”Why am I telling you this?”and “Am I telling it in the best way possible?”  If you can honestly answer those questions to your own satisfaction, then that’s a great start. There’s the old Shakespeare character of Polonius in Hamlet, who, in giving advice to his son, says, “...and to thine own self be true.” Even though Polonius is often described as a foolish old man, his advice seems pretty good to me.

That seems pretty good to us, too, Mrs. Alda. Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions.

Arlene Alda's book "Just Kids from the Bronx" will be on sale beginning March 3. You can order your copy here. All author proceeds will go to several children's organizations located in the Bronx.

NOTE: I received a free copy of "Just Kids from the Bronx" from Henry Holt and Company. All opinions, as always, are solely my own.

The Zen of Alan Alda

It would be easy to write about Alan Alda by only recounting stories that everyone already knows, such as his tremendous successes in television, movies and theatre. I could also discuss his well-known talents as a gifted writer of books and screenplays, or his lifelong passion of science that led him to not only host PBS’s “Scientific American Frontiers” for 14 years but to challenge young minds and inspire the creation of The Center for Communicating Science at Stony Brook University.

MS Advocate Cathy Chester with Alan Alda

But Alan Alda is much more than that, and writing about only those achievements, as incredible as they are, would be a disservice to him. He has always been like a cauldron packed tight with ingredients of passion, ideas and deep thought that would burst wide open if he couldn’t keep moving forward.

As I listened to him speaking recently at The New Jersey Speaker Series it occurred to me how Zen-like Mr. Alda is. He sees his life experiences with great clarity and, after examining them like a true scientist, he challenges and questions himself, then draws his own conclusions.

Alan Alda

I can best illustrate the Zen of Alan Alda by using three stories from his words and life experiences.

Near-death experience changed his life: Story One

There was one night that forever changed his life, and he uses that near tragedy to contemplate how he became the man he is today.

“I’d like to tell you about a night that changed my life. I was up on top of a mountain in Chile, in an observatory because I was with astronomers doing a science show, and I got this tickle in my gut, and within a few minutes it was the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. They had a medic up there. I don’t think he’d done anything medical before. I’m all doubled up and he comes over and says, 'How are you?'

"They had an ambulance, a big old boxy thing. It looked like the ambulances we had on M*A*S*H. They slide me into the ambulance and I’m groaning and screaming and they take me for an hour and a half down this rocky mountain down to this little town to a hospital with a dimly lit ER.

"But there was this brilliant doctor there that night who was an expert in what was wrong with me. It turned out I had a bit of my intestine that lost its blood supply and if it burst a couple hours later I’d be dead. But he knew exactly what the problem was and he figured it out in a few minutes. He leaned into me to tell me they have to cut out part of the bad intestine and sew two good ends together.

"And I said, 'Oh, you’re going to do an end-to-end anastomosis?' He said, 'How do you know that?” and I said, 'Oh I did many of those on M*A*S*H.'

"And I lived.

"And when it was over I felt I’d been given a whole new life. The world was so fresh, the colors were so free, just the feeling of being alive. I wasn’t supposed to eat anything solid, and the first piece of cheese I had was the most delicious meal I’d had in my life. I was like a newborn baby tasting everything fresh.

"So I thought I don’t want this to end. I’ve met people who had near death experiences and they kept that feeling for a while but then it went away. I didn’t want it to go away. How can I make this last?

"Maybe if I think about how I got to be how I am, and who I am, and the lessons I’ve learned, maybe there’s something in that. So I started making notes about my earliest childhood memories.”

Alan Alda speaking on the life-changing power of tragedy

Alan Alda speaking on the life-changing power of tragedy

Life moves on after tragedy: Story Two

When Mr. Alda was seven years old he contracted polio, a horrible deadly disease and an epidemic among children at that time. He remembers his father administering painful treatments that included placing hot woolen blankets on his limbs and painful massages on his muscles.

While recovering, Robert Alda brought home a beautiful black cocker spaniel to cheer up his son. The dog was so sweet and loving that they immediately fell in love with each other. When the puppy tragically died his father, in a loving but perhaps misguided effort, had the dog stuffed for posterity so he’d “always have him.” But the dog had a “hideous expression with glass eyes that followed you wherever you walked” and after placing it next to the fireplace, “when guests entered the room they’d stop dead.”

I realized years later that this was a tremendous lesson for me. You can’t have your dog stuffed. I know that sounds trivial but it’s true. You love the dog, he goes away, and you move on. The stuffed dog is a counterfeit; a hollow imitation.”

Moving On: Story Three

Someone from the audience asked what he thought Hawkeye Pierce would be doing today. Alda answered that he never thought about it. As much as he loved the character and was proud of the part he played in creating eleven seasons of M*A*S*H, when it was over, it was over. And he moved on.

Beyond the Zen of Alan Alda is the love everyone feels for him. I have never met anyone with an unkind word about him.

Meeting a personal hero

As a devoted fan I’ve written about him before. About my schoolgirl crush that turned into deep respect for a man completely devoted to his family and friends, one who always seemed genuine and self-effacing whenever I'd hear him speak.

I was more than thrilled when my husband and I were invited to attend a post-event cocktail party to meet Alan Alda in person. I was admittedly a bit nervous. I’ve met celebrities before, but for me this was different.

I didn’t want to sound like a gushing teenager or a typical fan. I wanted him to know how important the work he is doing at Stony Book University is to the disability community and me. So I practiced my elevator speech. Several times. Okay, more than several.

When it came time for us to meet him one-on-one, my instincts were right. It was as if my husband and I were alone in the room with a dear friend. He listened intently as I thanked him not only for his funny and fascinating talk, but also for the contributions he’s making by teaching future scientists how to communicate more effectively with the public, and what that will mean to the future of medicine.

Although our conversation lasted only a few minutes it will leave an indelible impression on my heart.

Alan Alda speaking at Fairleigh Dickinson University

Alan Alda speaking at Fairleigh Dickinson University

END NOTE: I also introduced myself to Arlene Alda, who is an accomplished musician, photographer and writer. Her latest book "Just Kids from the Bronx" is an oral history about what it was like growing up in the Bronx, a place that "bred the influencers in just about every field of endeavor today." It will be coming out March 2015. I wanted to tell Mrs. Alda how excited my Bronx born mother is about reading her upcoming book. Mrs. Alda was lovely, and it was a pleasure to briefly speak with her.

The New Jersey Speaker Series is an inaugural series of talks produced by Fairleigh Dickinson University. The impressive list of speakers are Madeleine Albright, Alan Alda, Steve Wozniak, Olympia Snowe, David Gergen, David McCullough and Dan Rather, each influential voices in our world today.

Photo Credits: Courtesy of Fairleigh Dickinson University/New Jersey Speaker Series

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