There are some things that can never be compromised, and one of those things is the truth. I've always been truthful in what I do, particularly in my writing. But now there is a truth that I need to discuss with my readers.
I recently wrote a blog post about someone who tragically lost their family in a car accident. I learned about this story from people I've come to know online over the past year, so I trusted the story on face value. It was so tragic and so shocking that I uncharacteristically failed to google the story before writing about it.
I let myself and my readers down by not gaining the facts. I acted on emotional impulse.
To this day I can neither confirm nor deny this alleged car accident. I have spent an inordinate amount of time trying to find any details about it. I found none.
I apologize to you for acting on emotions instead of keeping a clear head before writing that post. As a writer I always spend a good deal of time researching facts from credible sources before publishing a post. The truth always matters. But this time I allowed the horror of this alleged story get the best of me. I am truly sorry if I have caused you any unnecessary stress.
My Christmas Wish For The World
"May you always be blessed
With walls for the wind
Roof for the rain
A warm cup of tea by the fire
Laughter to cheer you
Those you love near you
And all that your heart may desire." ~An Irish Blessing
Four Ways To Mentally Prepare To Make Your Dreams Come True
My husband and I grew up in suburban New Jersey. We left for a few years to attend school, then came back, met, married and built our home. We raised our son in New Jersey and continue to live here today.
We dream of moving elsewhere, to a place that's warm year-round. Somewhere where we can live a simple and joyful life, in a place where I'll feel healthier from the change in weather. That change could mean a difference in my physical strength, enabling me to live a richer, fuller life.
We long to live in an area where winter means sunshine and a temperate climate. We talk about warmth whenever there's a snowfall, or if the temperature dips below freezing.
"What are we doing here?" I'd often say to my husband. "Your whole family lives in warm weather, soaking up sunshine all year long. We must be crazy!"
We are not fancy people, so our needs are quite simple. Like any parent, we want our son to be healthy, happy and fulfilled, and we'd like the same for ourselves. Wherever we live that is all that we ask.
Alice laughed. "There was no use trying,” she said. “One can’t believe impossible things."
“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,”said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” ~Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass
Spending our leisure time enjoying the outdoors year round, without the need for sweaters, boots or heavy coats, seems surreal to us right now.
“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” ~J.K. Rowling
J.K. Rowling is right. We don't want to forget to live, and are mindful that where we are right now is where we are meant to be. But still we continue to dream.
We talk with friends and family who live in communities we're interested in, and have met with realtors to visit some listings. We scan the Internet for information about best places to live and best places to find jobs for 50-somethings.
We talk, plan, dream, hope and wonder.
The dream seems unattainable. There are too many things holding us back. Yet life moves on.
Our story is not unique. Many people feel disillusioned with their lives; they feel wholly unfulfilled. As Baby Boomers there are circumstances that may tie us down. We begin to believe that our dreams will never come true.
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
The poet Robert Browning once said,
“Each life unfulfilled, you see; It hangs still, patchy and scrappy: We have not sighed deep, laughed free, Starved, feasted, despaired, --been happy..”
Yes, an unfulfilled life is at a standstill, hanging in the balance.So we must continue to visualize our dreams for our own sake - whether it's a career change, moving to another location or planning a trip around the world.
Now that I'm in my fifties I have a strong need to try to take my first baby steps toward realizing my dreams. It may take awhile, even years, but it's time to begin the work.
I've outlined four tools to help us mentally prepare to make our dreams come true.
CREATE A VISION BOARD – While in my twenties and thirties, most vision boards were related to issues concerning career paths or confidence and self-esteem boosters. My vision board will be focused on where I want to live. If you’d like to try your hand at making your own vision board, take a look at Christine Kane’s "Mentor to Women Who Are Changing The World" – it’s a good introduction to what a vision board is and shows you how to make one.
SPIRITUALITY – It's important to find something to believe in that provides us with inner strength during good and bad times.I’m guided by the basic Jewish tenets of honoring The Ten Commandments, doing mitzvahs (good deeds) and believing in one G-d. But I find I need more. I have a keen interest in spirituality. I’ve witnessed people relying on their faith when weathering personal trauma. So I’ve started my own spiritual journey. I've read books about Buddhism and the teachings of the Dalai Lama (The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living by Dalai Lama.) My daily meditation and weekly yoga classes have taught me about mindfulness (Jon Kabat-Zinn: Mindfulness for Beginners and Reclaiming the Present Moment - and Your Life.)
COGNITIVE-BEHAVIORAL THERAPY – It helps to send positive thoughts out into the Universe.There is something to the power of positive thinking, so learning how to replace negative thoughts with positive ones is important. According to CBT, first acknowledge a negative thought, visualize wrapping it in a ball and tossing it away. Then replace your negative thought with a positive one.
4. COMMUNICATION – It 's important to discuss your thoughts and feelings with others. It's freeing, and perhaps you'll learn a different perspective on a situation from someone who cares. Be open and honest with yourself as you learn the realities necessary to take that first giant step toward your goals.
We’ve rounded the corner past 50. It’s time to visualize how we want our life to look for the next fifty years. Where do you want to live? Do you have a passion you’d like to try? Would you enjoy learning a new skill? Do you have a Bucket List? Whatever you’d like to do, visualize it, research it, plan it, talk about it and then (as Nike says) – JUST DO IT!
I didn't see the first Kennedy Center Honors broadcast in 1978. Hosted by Walter Cronkite, the first five honorees receiving this prestigious award were artists who were awarded, to quote President Kennedy, for their "contribution to the human spirit."
President George W. Bush and Laura Bush with honorees (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
"I look forward to an America which will reward achievement in the arts as we reward achievement in business or statecraft." ~President Kennedy
Marian Anderson, Fred Astaire, George Balanchine, Richard Rogers and Arthur Rubinstein. All luminaries in the world of the creative arts who were honored for their lifetime of excellence and unparalleled achievements.
John F. Kennedy, photograph in the Oval Office. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
"I am certain that after the dust of centuries has passed over our cities, we, too, will be remembered not for our victories or defeats in battle or in politics, but for our contribution to the human spirit." ~President Kennedy
The following year the same honor was awarded to Aaron Copland, Ella Fitzgerald, Henry Fonda, Martha Graham and Tennessee Williams. When I think of these five legends sitting together in that familiar top tier row it takes my breath away.
As I got older I'd look forward to the week between Christmas and New Year's when the Honors were broadcast on CBS. As a devotee of the arts, it thrilled me to watch these tributes that were always conducted in such a dignified manner. No Red Carpet or, "What are you wearing?" Only thoughtfully curated tributes with short biographies detailing the recipients' astonishing careers. Chic. Fun. Impeccable.
"I look forward to an America which will not be afraid of grace and beauty." ~President Kennedy
I began losing respect for the Honors' choices a few years ago. While I admire Steve Martin as an artist, his artistic resume was not deserving of a Kennedy Center Honor. Not yet anyway.
The tide seemed to be turning toward pop, something the original CBS vice president clearly didn't want.
"Our intention is not to do just another award show. We're going to make an effort in terms of a real special." ~Bernie Sofronski, CBS Vice President, 1978
Now get ready. Here comes an opinion that's probably going to get me into a lot of trouble.
I don't think Oprah Winfrey was an appropriate choice for this award.
Oprah has done so much for so many. She recreated the talk show by making it more positive and intimate.She reignited a passion for reading books, and her philanthropy is legendary. She's had a few marvelous film roles such "The Color Purple", "Lincoln" and "The Butler." She may be Oscar or Emmy worthy, but I don't think she was the right candidate for a Kennedy Center Honor.
David Letterman and Lily Tomlin. Wonderfully gifted performers that I've enjoyed over the years. But, in my opinion, their careers don't warrant a Kennedy Center Honor.
A recent article in The New Yorker titled "The Kennedy Center Honors Goes Pop", the author Alex Ross wrote:
"As in previous years, the selection demonstrates the degree to which the awards have diverged from their original mission—to pay tribute to luminaries of theatre, dance, classical music, and show business—and instead become one more temple of celebrity culture, magnifying the fame of already familiar faces. Of the five honorees, (Patricia) McBride is the only one whose career has unfolded on the kinds of stages that are included in the Kennedy Center complex."
This year I agree with the choice of Tom Hanks. At age 58 he's still young, but his acting is superb, from "Forrest Gump" to "Philadelphia" to "Saving Private Ryan." He seems so purely American, a throwback to honorees Henry Fonda and James Stewart.
After posting The New Yorker article on Facebook, adding how disappointed I was with a few of this year's honorees, I found not everyone agreed with me. I willingly admitted I'm not knowledgeable enough to make an informed choice of artists in ballet, opera or classical music.
I was happy when my (almost) 87 year old father came to my rescue. He is more than qualified to offer an informed choice:
"Martha Argerich (born1941) is an Argentine-born pianist and-- to this 87 years young who has heard them all since 1940-- the finest and most accomplished on the piano since Vladmir Horowitz--and on a par with him. She concertizes throughout the U.S. and was married to and had children by an American. If the standard for honors is to make a substantial contribution to American performing arts, then Martha Argerich well qualifies. (Listen to her in her prime on youtube in the Rachmaninoff piano Concerto #3--especially the last movement." ~My Dad
There are many other deserving artists who've been passed over. Faithful readers of this blog know I've long admired Alan Alda, who more than qualifies for an Honor. An actor, director, screenwriter and author, he's won six Emmy and Golden Globe Awards, was nominated for an Academy and Grammy Award, won several Directors Guild Awards, and has appeared in eleven Broadway plays. At age 78, I'd say he's Honor worthy.
Whether you agree or disagree with me, the bottom line is that President Kennedy was right about America and the arts. The contributions to the human spirit are what lifts a nation in good times and bad. I am thankful that all of these dedicated and creative giants have walked, and do walk, among us.
A Holiday Gift Guide For Pets PLUS A Way To Make A Difference In The Lives Of Animals In Need (Giveaway)
If you're an animal lover like I am then you've already added a gift for your pet to your holiday gift list. That's why I'm thrilled to announce that The ASPCA has put together a gift guide for pets and pet lovers, including several fun do-it-yourself gifts for cats and dogs.
They've also compiled a list of gift ideas that give back to animal welfare through their ASPCA store. Giving back is what the holidays are all about.
There are plenty of gift options that will also make a difference in the lives of animals, such as:
Walkers Shortbread Cookies will donate 10¢ to the ASPCA for every 3.9 oz. package of its Scottie Dog cookies sold in the U.S. through December 31.
Twitter Party Alert! The ASPCA is having a #SantaPaws Holiday Twitter party and giveaway extravaganza on Thursday, December 18th from 7-8pm EST. Please join in the Santa Paws fun!
I'm happy to offer a giveaway of one of the holiday gift packs featured above. To enter please leave a comment below by Thursday, December 11. The winner will be announced by email on Friday, December 12.
Our furry loves ones deserve our love all year round, and the holidays are the perfect time to thank them for their unconditional love.
NOTE: At this time of year please remember to send a donation to your local animal shelter. Animals not yet adopted deserve our love and care. Click here to find your local animal shelter from Petfinder.com. Help keep them safe and warm as they anxiously await adoption. Thank you.
I Need Your Votes To Help Me Continue My Mission Of Ability Despite Disability
I've been overwhelmed by the tremendous support I've received since announcing AN EMPOWERED SPIRIT's nomination for BEST HEALTH BLOG by Healthline. I've heard from so many caring people who truly believe in my mission. Thank you!
But I need your VOTES for AN EMPOWERED SPIRIT to win. Winning allows me to reach more audiences as I write about disability, focusing on our abilities despite living with chronic illness.
You can vote two ways: Type AN EMPOWERED SPIRIT in the search box. Or CLICK on VOTE (which will continue to appear as #3 as long as I stay #3!)
Winning is what health websites notice when I submit my work for publication, when I apply for a speaking engagement, or when I write to someone in need.
Now through January 15 you can vote every 24 hours, either using your Facebook or Twitter account, or both! (CLICK HERE TO VOTE)
Competition is stiff!! A doctor is in 1st place. Can you imagine how many votes he's getting from patients AND staff? Oy.
Simply CLICK on any of the icons you see on this post, or CLICK on the Healthline badge located on the top right-hand side of this blog.
I appreciate your friendship, your dedication to my mission and your ongoing support of my work.
Please help me spread the word by sharing this post or tweeting it on Twitter!
[Tweet "Vote for An Empowered Spirit in Best Blog Contest for @Healthline @cathyches #multiplesclerosis"]
If you have any questions please feel free to contact me. Thank you.
A Chapter In My Life That Is Gone But Not Forgotten
The chapters in our lives help to create who we are today. Every acquaintance and each experience sculpt and mold us in some way. Here's one chapter in my life that, looking back, seems like a short blip of time.
When my son was in nursery school I met a group of moms who easily bonded from the beginning. At the time they were very important to me. Being new in town I had no friends. I was happy to meet some new ones.
As we got to know each other better we decided to go out to dinner once a month. I looked forward to getting out of my mommy clothes and into my grownup ones for at least one night a month. I loved being a stay-at-home mom, but looked forward to "cleaning up" for a girls night out.
The women (or "the girls" as I used to call them) were upbeat, and I remember laughing a lot. The restaurants? I rarely chose where we we went, and often they ended up being a bit pricey. But the food and wine were always exceptional.
On one occasion we wined and dined at a lovely French bistro. The food was extraordinary and the wine was overflowing. The conversation turned to a subject that the Brat Pack girls would have enjoyed.
How many times were you with someone before you were married. Oy.
Growing up as the only girl in the family, and then attending a Jesuit college, this wasn't a subject I was particularly comfortable with. Call me a prude (did I hear you say it?) but I passed. They probably thought my silence was as good as a confession, but I didn't care. I didn't see the point, and poured myself a little more wine.
When dinner was finally over I was tired and looked forward to getting home.
Not a chance.
A new martini bar had just opened up across the street and one of the women was dying to try it. I am not a big fan of liquor but I went to be a good sport. Plus my driver was the woman who wanted to go.
We walked into the darkly lit room with its long, sleek bar that was so shiny you could almost use sunglasses.
It was a little conspicuous when a group of seven women stumbled in, and the mostly male clientele snapped their heads to check us out. The room grew quiet.
We asked for an end booth to avoid more stares and immediately ordered several different types of martinis, more than one glass for each of us. At the time appletinis were trendy so we ordered a few of those, too.
Swish, swish, swish. Down the hatch.
I tasted the appletini and thought it was okay, and since there was no wine list I returned to my plain, boring glass of water. Then I sat back to enjoy watching my friends empty the row of glasses in front of us. My driver began talking faster and faster, laughing louder with each gulp.
During her conversation she began playing with her car keys, swirling them in her fingers until they slipped off and landed in the middle of the table. When she glanced away I quickly swiped them and quietly put them into my pocket.
I drove home. She didn't argue. She fell asleep in the back seat.
All in all it was a fun evening. I'm glad we had those few years together. One by one I lost touch with each of them. I suppose that when you have children your life revolves around them and their activities.
I was the only one in our group with a boy, and when we pulled him out of public school my time was spent volunteering and driving him to his new school in another town.
“For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning." ~T.S. Eliot
I'll always have fond memories of those years. Of being a young mother and making new friends, of eating delicious food, and even drinking a martini. And the laughter. Oh, the laughter.
I was blessed to have these women as my friends during a very special time in my life. I look back at it now with great fondness. It helped to shape me into the person I am today.
All of our experiences mold us, preparing us for the next chapters of our lives.
Have you lost touch with friends who were meaningful at a special time in your life?
The road is long, the destination not yet realized. Joy is interspersed with sadness. Smiles alternate with tears.
This is the life of a sensitive soul.
We all share the common quest of wanting to fit in, to be valued and feel like we matter. Without it we feel set adrift in a place of isolation.
Odd man out. Overlooked. On the outside. Excluded. Neglected. Forgotten.
Everyone has two choices. Either we can wallow in self-pity, crying that life isn't fair. This is certainly a path that can lead to self-destruction.
Or we can choose to face our reality, knowing that we can never be all things to all people. Recognize our truth, accept it and be grateful.
And then move on.
The blessings we can allow ourselves to experience lies in our ability to love one another despite our differences. This can be very freeing. And once we've done the work and learned how to master that skill, life will be so much sweeter.
I'll meet you on that side.
♥♥♥♥
NOTE: I made it! This is the last day of National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) for the month of November. It was an important exercise that taught me I can set aside time every day to write. Hooray!
It was my great fortune to be in the company of a group of talented women writers who took this journey with me. We read and commented on each other's posts every day. Through their stories I learned more about the art of good writing and the many gifts of friendship. I thank every one of them.
Rescuing Animals And #GivingTuesday? A Winning Combination
My second post for #GivingTuesday is for Rock City Rescue, a network of fosters and volunteers who work together to rescue dogs living in abusive situations and from being euthanized in high volume kill shelters.
Rock Rescue works hard to rescue dogs living on the edge of life or death in dire situations. Once they are rescued they're temporarily placed foster homes, but not before making sure they are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and given flea and heartworm medication.
Adorable Zeus is looking for love in a forever home. Are you the one to love him forever?
Then the task begins to find the right match in a forever loving home. Located in Arkansas, the rescues are placed locally or anywhere in the Northeastern United States.
Rock City Rescue pups - aren't they adorable?
When Casey Carter, an experienced rescuer and founder of Rock Rescue, reached out to me she explained:
"As an all volunteer organization, all of our resources go directly to rescuing, rehabilitating, and rehoming Rock City Rescue dogs. It takes a lot of money, time, space, and brainpower to rescue responsibly and we can use all the help we can get. If you can foster a dog, volunteer your time and skills, or donate funds or goods, please let us know. It takes a great community of dedicated people to save these deserving dogs and we welcome your involvement."
A loving and quality foster home is important. Then the work begins to find a quality, forever loving home.
In-kind donations: Whether it's dog food, blankets, toys, crates, beds, or whatever else you have, they can use it! They have a wish list at Hollywood Feed North Little Rock with items they need the most. You can purchase the items at Hollywood Feed OR purchase from their Amazon Wishlist: http://amzn.com/w/EMIPPIOMMHS0
Monetary donations: Vetting, transporting, and caring for all of the pups and kitties takes a lot of money, and donations are what support this. Please go to their website or mail a check to: Rock City Rescue, 2513 McCain Blvd, Ste 2, #176, NLR, AR 72116
Spread the word: Something as simple as sharing a Rock City Facebook post or tweeting in support of RCR can make a big difference.
Donating your time: RSVP as a driver or handler for their adoption events.They also always need fosters, adoption coordinators, event coordinators, and volunteers for special events.
Share how you will give by using the hashtag #GivingTuesday, #rockcityrescue and #RCR.
Rock City Rescue Twitter: @rockcityrescue
Rock City Rescue Instagram: @rockcityrescue
There is nothing more important than saving a life. Saving the life of an animal, who cannot speak for themselves, is more than a worthy cause. It's humane.
IMPORTANT INFORMATION: RCR is a not-for-profit, 501(c) (3) organization. We receive no funding from the federal, state, or county governments, nor from any corporate entity. We operate solely on private donations and volunteer efforts. Rock City Rescue is an all volunteer network of rescuers, fosters, and volunteers who work together to rescue, rehabilitate, and find homes for sweet, loving, adoptable dogs from pounds in the rural South.
501(c)(3) organization
PHOTO CREDITS: All photos are the sole property of Rock City Rescue and #Giving Tuesday.
The Magic of #GivingTuesday And The Healing Powers Of Horses
This is the first in a two part series for #GivingTuesday (December 2).
I'm proud to be a social media ambassador for #GivingTuesday (December 2) for the second year in row. We have a day of thanks, Black Friday and Cyber Monday. #GivingTuesday is a global event, and a chance for everyone to make a choice to help others.
Please take a look at this video for a quick explanation of what #GivingTuesday is.
I'm using the power of my words, along with the help of social media, to create awareness about an extraordinary organization that rescues, rehabilitates and matches horses with people.
The Full CircleEquine Rehabilitation Center is where "horses and people help each other." Its Founder, Cris Pemberton, helps semi-retired horses and ponies find their purpose by spending quality time with people who care and love them. Cris, along with the help of many passionate volunteers, finds that, "the healing power of horses can touch, uplift and enrich the community."
But the cost of caring for a horse is expensive, and many times she's forced to turn down requests to take in horses who are old or physically/emotionally damaged. It breaks her heart to have to say no. If she had enough funds to say yes she'd be able to rescue and rehabilitate more and more beautiful horses.
Volunteers at Full Circle with the beautiful horse, Cayenne
Cris firmly believes in her mission of helping people in her community discover the magic of horses and therapeutic riding. She loves teaching others the proper skills of working with the rehabilitation and rescue programs offered at FCERC.
Through the help of generous donations from friends, family and the community Cris implemented a small scholarship program that grants one person at a time into the FCERC program.
Cris with Faith
But without the continued support of donations these programs can't exist. Horses won't be rescued and the community won't receive the gift of healing from these beautiful animals.
I'd like to thank Cris for the special work she is doing, and for reaching out to me through the #GivingTuesday website. It has been an honor to get to know her and FCERC.
IMPORTANT INFORMATION: FCERC is incorporated in Washington State and is registered with the Washington State Charities Registry. Our Application for Recognition of Exemption under Section 501(c) 3 of the Internal Revenue Code was approved on July 31, 2014 effective February 26, 2013. FCERC is a Public Charity and, as such, contributions to FCERC are deductible. We are also qualified to receive tax deductible bequests, devises, transfers or gifts under section 2055, 2016 or 2522 of the Code.
Photo Credits: Photos of the horses are the sole property of Full Circle Equine Rehabilitation Center.
Are you sick and tired of reading posts about gratitude and why it's important to count your blessings? Did you say yes?
Well, brace yourself for one more. Because I have so much to be thankful for, and there's no better day than today to show my love and gratitude for all of the blessings in my life.
The photos below show only a portion of what I am thankful for. My apologies to anyone I inadvertently left out or don't have a photo of.
If you are reading this that means you've added some special meaning to my life, and for that I thank you with a poem by Emerson:
Cultivate a habit of being grateful.
For every good thing that comes to you,
and to give thanks continuously,
and because all things have contributed,
to your advancement,
you should include all things in your gratitude. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Chester Family wishes you and your loved ones a joyful Thanksgiving!!
The TV Generation: What's Your Favorite Animated Holiday Special?
If you're a Baby Boomer then you're also part of the TV generation. Isn't it amazing how many television shows we loved and still remember today?
When we were young, it was cool to talk to your friends about your favorite shows. I remember arguing with my best friend about who was cuter between Peter Tork or Davy Jones from "The Monkees" (I chose Davy) or who we liked better between Robert Vaughn or David McCallum on "The Man From UNCLE" (I chose Vaughan.)
These were very important discussions.
Photo of Robert Vaughn and David McCallum as Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin from the television program The Man from U.N.C.L.E.". (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
When it came to holiday specials there were no arguments. We loved them all, and were well aware when a show was scheduled to air. We'd find out by simply checking the listings in TV Guide or our local newspapers.
Aside from my love of classic movies that I discussed here, I'm also wild about many classic holiday animated specials. To this day whenever I watch one it brings back memories of my youth, and I feel like a little girl again.
Here are my top 5 favorites. They guarantee to delight everyone at any age.
Are these your favorites, too?
Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AFfPsvbyvs
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Frosty the Snowman
And my all-time favorite: A Charlie Brown Christmas
